I think sometimes the term itself implies a meaning... an older person calling me "sweetie" when we are having a polite exchange, does not feel offensive. Ethnicity also figures- an individual from UK calling me "luv" is not offensive. But someone calling me "dear" with a sarcastic tone, or trying to sweet talk me with a "darlin"" - that feels patronizing and that is offensive. Manners haven't changed- they just don't seem to be taught to our youth anymore. I am forever coursing "please" and "thank you" out of my own children when they make requests of me. They have been taught to use manners since they learned to speak, but it is not supported by their peers, or at school. So it is almost like I have re-teach it frequently.
And in regard to dining out- servers must be so used to lack of manners, that when you actually USE them, they are shocked. I make my children say "thank you" when our server puts their plate in front of them. And I always ask if I may please have some more water, etc.. Some servers seem so surprised.... I thought that was to be expected.... ???
And KY ,(it was KY ??) for your question about what makes a really memorable meal ... I think it is a few things.... 1st a good occasion that has brought you there- not the I've just worked a 10 hr day and I'm too exhausted to cook.... but the birthday, or promotion, or ...??? when you come to the restaurant to actually enjoy yourself..... good service- prompt and polite, & good food, obviously- but good service can make average food seem better, and bad service can make excellant food seem average.... but incredible service isn't going to make lousy food seem great. And trully extraordinary meals have something else... something you weren't planning on.... maybe a gift from your date, maybe the chef comes by and greets you, maybe absolutely amazing food or incredible presentation, or a celebrity in the house, or ...????
__________________ Bon Vive'  ! |