[ChrisLehrer]

Originally Posted by Bazza

1. Over attentive servers. Is everything ok? Is everything ok? Is everything ok?

The New Yorker cartoonists have had a field day about this for decades. I remember one from the late 80s entitled "Munch in Manhattan," in which a strange large-eyed figure tries to order and eat his meal, and the waiter keeps running back: "I'm John and I'll be your serving-person today!" Cut to man looking horrified, hands to sides of head. "How's it going with that menu?" Man looks more horrified. "Fresh-ground pepper on your salad?" Man has fully transformed into Munch's "The Scream."

2. Double tipping, where the service is included but not made clear on the bill and they allow you to tip again without saying anything.

I have heard of this, but I believe it is illegal -- I don't know about federally, but certainly it was illegal in Chicago, because I know one place that got slapped with a hefty fine for it. Turned out the waiter was doing this on the sly, so the restaurant paid the fine and then sued (and fired) the waiter, and collected a hefty sum. That'd be mid-90s if anyone wants to look it up; I don't remember what restaurant, but nothing super-fancy I think.

being charged for tap water

Not seen this one.

paying over the top for bottled water

Used to be normal in New York, but there was this big thing where everyone decided that bottled water was polluting the universe, so maybe that's changed.

pretentious menus written in Franglish, a mixture of French and English, and unusual cullinary terms that only chefs understand

Two versions of this are common here.

1. Every word qualified with an endless explanation of origin. There's no such thing as bacon any more, only "Cochon Porcine El Lardo Farm Organic Maple-Hickory-Applewood Smoked Prime Belly Bacon." Multiply by the rest of the menu item.

2. Authenticity demonstrated by a refusal to frame any menu item in anything but the native language (usually Italian or Spanish), and a careful instruction (apparently) to the waitstaff to deride any customer who doesn't know what the terms mean. Also popular in sushi restaurants, who serve frozen mediocrity but make a fuss about using only the "authentic" terms just like in Japan (meaning, just like in sushi restaurants in the immediate Tokyo area, since everywhere else the terms differ).

open salt and pepper bowls

I thought this was illegal. Chefs?

tiny portions

A running gag since la nouvelle cuisine, in the U.S. this has been replaced by the 50-Gallon Drum O'Meat, followed by the waiter showing up to ask, "you still working on that?"

over zealous servers rushing you so they can turn tables

There was a long article in the NY Times about this a few years ago, and people were indeed irritated. I recall distinctly that the staff at Daniel were essentially throwing people out to make room for the next reservation, which had been scheduled too soon.