Recipe for Jewel Cream:
1# Sweetex (crisco etc.)
1# soft butter
3# powdered sugar
1qt. imitation whip topping (in liquid form)

Whip first three ingredients for several minutes (original recipe called for all sweetex. I added the butter to take the lardiness out of it).Scrape sides. Add liquid whip topping. Whip for as long as you would like. Will withstand most nuclear blasts, or earthquakes under 3.5

Is there such a word as lardiness?