Tips on Dining in Paris France

The following article is written by my wife Colleen and I think it is very informative on some of the more helpful tips to know when dining in Paris France (or just about any European country I expect). Please share your tips for dining in Paris in the comments section below.


Here's what I've learned from experience, and a little research:


ENTREE.
The word, “Entrée” is confusing on a menu for Americans because the French mean “appetizer” when they say, “Entrée.” What Americans consider an entrée is what the French call, “Plat Principal,” (main dish).

A FEW WORDS ABOUT COFFEE.
The French drink café au lait or cafe creme only in the morning and is unusual for lunch or dinner.

Un café is usually a short espresso sized cup of coffee, not an American sized cup of coffee. If you order café au lait, they often bring an American sized cup of coffee out along with a pitcher of hot, steamed milk for you to pour in your coffee.

If you intend to eat a meal and have coffee alongside it, do not order the coffee first! I did this and the waiter assumed we were not eating but only having coffees. He threw up his hands, got upset and stormed off! The hostess came over and asked if we were going to eat. We responded yes, but that I just wanted coffee alongside my meal. We almost lost our seat in this upscale, busy restaurant due to my faux pax. Order your meal first and THEN ask if you may have coffee alongside it.

On that note, many French will go to a local Cafe to simply have a coffee or tea. This is a normal thing for French to do - enjoy a coffee alone - at a cafe. But many restaurants in Paris expect you to sit at the outdoor tables if you aren’t there to eat.


When you place your dessert order, you may notice that they do not ask if you want coffee as well. The French will not serve your coffee alongside your dessert because they treat coffee as a course which follows dessert.

ORDERING WATER.
If you order water they will ask you “with or without carbonation” in French as follows: “avec gas ou sans gas?”. The assumption is that you want a bottle of water, which costs a fair amount of money, and are not ordering tap water which is free. This can be a costly mistake unless you know how to order tap water. In French you would not ask for just water but “Une carafe d’eau” which is a carafe of water. This is understood to mean that you want tap water.

DO THE FRENCH DISLIKE AMERICANS?
Many Americans have had bad experiences in France or have heard of others being treated poorly by the French. Thus there is a stereotype that the French do not like Americans. Some may "write off" a trip to France because of their false perception that they will be treated rudely by the French. This simply is not true. If you take time to learn a few cultural "rules" or norms, act kind and courteous and also try your best to speak as much of the French language possible, you will be treated wonderfully.

Here are some tips which helped me get good treatment from the French:

1. Many Americans perceive the French as snooty and pretentious when this is really not the case. Rather, it is usually an American misperception or lack of understanding of French culture. Of course there are exceptions to this, however, with a little time and effort, you can save yourself a bad experience in Paris and even learn to love the French. If you can understand the French culture, you may be able to “read” interactions you have with the French in a more accurate manner. The first thing to learn is that the French have a more formal and haute (high) culture.

What do I mean by formal? While American culture seems more relaxed and casual in its interactions with strangers, French culture appears to be more composed and observant of conventional requirements of formal behavior. For example, in America it is common for your restaurant waiter to be casual and outgoing – even entertaining - while in France the restaurant staff will act professional, dignified and formal. Their withdrawn, reserved demeanor may seem cavalier and condescending, but this reserved and formal manner is actually what they believe to be polite behavior – so they are actually trying to treat you with what they believe to be courteous and respectful behavior.


What do I mean by a “high” culture? Their “high” culture – as opposed to many American companies’ methods of producing a mediocre product to “make a fast buck” - can be seen in everything the French produce: from fashion (haute couture) to food (haute cuisine). There’s a reason that Paris is the fashion capital and the gastronomic center of the world: they do fashion and food with the highest standard of excellence. While American commercials are all telling you to supersize it, the French value quality of food over quantity of food. There are no “superstores,” “box stores,” or “megastores” in Paris. That’s what is so appealing about it: numerous, lovely boutiques; quaint family run restaurants, specialty food stores. Where else will you find a shop that sells only cheese? Or find a butcher who only sells horse meat? Or find a bakery where the line is out the door and down the street? Or a chocolate shop where there are chocolates 3 feet long shaped like an alligator? Or streets lined with pastry shops with cakes that appear to be artistic masterpieces you’ve never laid eyes on before? Or find a whole country whose people buy fresh bread every day? Only in Paris, my friend.

2. Get a picture in your mind of the typical American that the French would despise: an overbearing, sloppily dressed, obnoxious, loud, discourteous American who can’t speak – and won’t learn - a lick of the French language. Now try to be exactly the opposite of that rude American. Be courteous, kind and friendly. Keep your voice at the same volume as the people around you. Learn a few French words and phrases, and speak French FIRST before you speak any English to a French person.

3. When it comes to what you wear and the bag you carry, sport Samantha Brown’s look, not Rick Steves’. Save the t-shirt, shorts and gym shoes for Disneyworld or camping. Instead pack your bag with business casual clothing. You won’t be pegged as a touristy American (by the way, I didn’t see a single French person wearing shorts or running shoes in Paris). You may be extremely cleanly, but understand that most Europeans view those who carry backpacks as unkempt and dirty backpackers. Leave the duffel bag and backpack at home. Skip the ever popular American tourist fanny pack (you’ll be a target for the gypsies who walk around Paris looking for someone to mug). Instead, buy a satchel, leather bag, tote or shoulder bag.

4. Allow time for a rapport to develop between yourself and a stranger (for example, your waiter, a clerk or a store owner.) Adhere to the proper French cultural formalities of a friendly greeting (“Bonjour” all day until 6:00 p.m. and thereafter, “Bonsoir,”) to be performed before you start joking with your waiter. View the shopkeepers and restaurant staff as experts or professionals in their field that you can learn from or consult for information rather than as servants to wait on you. They will sense your respect for them and it will get you great treatment. We had 2 experiences where, after we adhered to these formalities, our waiters began joking around and teasing us so much that by the end of the meal, they seemed like old friends. Respecting formalities at first with the French serves to go a long way in getting treated nicely in France.


FRENCH WAIT STAFF.
A note about the wait staff in France: being a waiter is considered a dignified profession unlike the U.S. where one may wait tables simply to make money until they get a big break in another profession (like arts or theatre). While the waiters at TGI Friday’s is wearing as much “flair” as possible with their kitschy pins, suspenders and candy striped outfits, Parisian waiters are formally dressed - even in casual restaurants and cafes - wearing suits or dark vests over crisp, white shirts. At a high end restaurant the wait staff will often dress in tuxedos. Many waiters are older and have spent a lifetime in their career of restaurant service. Take advantage of their culinary expertise and consult them. You may ask, "Que recommendez-vous?" (what do you recommend?).

PARLEZ-VOUS FRANCAIS?
If you don’t speak French, learn a couple of French phrases and words which will get you better service and treatment.

Contrary to popular American perception, many French actually do not speak English. And those who do will usually view themselves as incompetent in English though they may speak it fluently. I found many French who spoke English perfectly would tell me that they get nervous speaking English and do not believe that their English is good at all. So you may find many French who are more than competent in English who will not speak it simply because of their own insecurities. I found that if I attempted to speak as much French as possible, those who were fluent in English would ask me, "is English better?" Those French who were insecure about their English would continue to address me in French even when I would admit, "Je ne comprende pas," (I don't understand) - they would speak in French more slowly afterwards or rephrase what they said.

If you make an effort to speak as much French as possible and not immediately greet people in English, the French will perceive your actions as favorable and not the typical rude American who expects that everyone should speak English.

ENOUGH FRENCH FOR AN ENTIRE MEAL.
Always start with a friendly greeting - you will be addressed this way as well. All day long until 6pm use, "Bonjour," (good day) and always greet the host before you make any demands or inquiries. After 6pm use, "Bonsoir" (good evening).

To ask for a table for two say, "Une table pour deux personnes, s'il vous plait." If you have a reservation you can say, "J'ai reserve," (I have a reservation) or "nous avons une reservation" (we have a reservation). If you have a reservation, they will ask for your name ( in French, "nom").

"Pardon, le menu, s'il vous plait," (excuse me, the menu please).

“S’il vous plait,” for "please," and, “merci,” for "thank you."

"Une carafe d'eau, s'il vous plait," to order tap water.

"Du vin, s'il vous plait" (some wine, please). You will be asked "rouge ou blanc?" (red or white?). You may choose to order a carafe of the house red wine: "Une carafe du vin rouge maison, s'il vous plait." Or ask for a recommendation, "que recommende vous?"

To order, say, “Je voudrais, s’il vous plait . . .” or "J'aimerais, s'il vous plait . . . " (I would like).

To get the check, say, "L'addition, s'il vous plait."

When you leave, say, "merci beaucoup; au revior!" (thanks very much, goodbye!).

When all else fails ask, “Do you speak English, please?” by saying, "Es ce que vous parlez Anglais?" which can be shortened to, “Parlez-vous Anglais, s’il vous plait?”

When they ask if you are finished with you meal they may say to you, “termine?” (think “terminated?”), and you can respond, “oui,finit” and even give a compliment such as, “C’etait tres bon,” (that was very good), or “C’etait magnifique,” (that was magnificent), or “C’etait parfait,” (that was perfect), or “C’etait delicieux,” (that was delicious).

When all else fails, ask “Do you speak English, please?” by saying, "Es ce que vous parlez Anglais?" which can be shortened to, “Parlez-vous Anglais, s’il vous plait?”

SERVICE.
What a pleasure it is to eat at restaurants in Paris. The French waiters do not stand over your shoulder and re-fill your water glass every time you take a sip. They do not check back every five minutes to see if you need “anything else?” They will not endless scan your table and interrupt you a dozen times to clear plates and dishes one by one. Instead, they will wait until everyone at the table is finished eating (what a concept!) and THEN clear all the plates at once. This seems much more efficient and much less intrusive (I have always wondered, is there such a shortage of dishes and cups in American restaurants that they must take them from you in a piecemeal fashion to get them into the dishwasher and out to the next customer who is waiting for that dish?). The French waiters do not ask ridiculous questions such as, “are you still working on that?” or “Can I get that out of your way?” (was it really causing that much of a disruption or in my way?). They will clear your plates when it is completely obvious that you are finished and there is no need to even ask to confirm if you are finished. They will not interrupt you while you are talking to your companions (as in the U.S. when it always seems to be right at the moment when you have reached the climax of your story or the punch line of your joke). They don’t come by a dozen times during your meal to ask if everything is satisfactory or if you need something else. As you can see, you will have a peaceful evening and enjoy conversation in a restaurant in France. You will not be rushed out of the restaurant as many table-turning American restaurants often do. The French believe in eating as a slow, pleasurable experience to savor flavors and time with friends and family.

WAITING FOR THE BILL IS A MISTAKE.
If you want the check and are ready to leave, do not assume that the wait staff will bring it on their own. They will not bring it until you ask. They will assume that you want to stay until you ask for the check. When you are ready for the check simply ask, "L'addition, s'il vous plait."