How do yo deal with the testosterone in school?

Week 4 has just commced and Iam fed up with the testosterone laden kids in my class.
Please don't take offense this is not directed at all men.
I almost fell over today when a student who was spposed to be the spouschef and utilize all of the people in his group told me:"oh I have nothing for you to do. Just stand there and look pretty."
And to top it I asked another guy in my group if he thought that was ok. and he said well the sous chef is the boss He told you to just stand there and look pretty.
How in the world does one deal with this.
anyone.. even guys please..
Iam not sensitive I just want to do my fair share. My grades are perfect and Iam not a slacker.
Danielle

[cape chef]

hey Danielle,

Look this immature toadstool right in his eyes and tell him exactly how you feel. Do it with dignity and respect.One of two things will happin.he will put his short little tail between his legs and leave you alone! or he will show his crowdedness by trying to embarrass you. I always document things (just in case)Danielle..take solace in the fact that these are insecure children that do not know how to split the tasks and delegate proficintly.They will be eaten up out there in the real world. I have worked with to many female chefs over the years to play those games. nobody wins every one gets hurt and nobody learns a thing.Also as time goes on you will develop a pretty thick skin,some things it's ok to roll with...we all do,and then other things you just have to make yourself clear.Aand try not to procrastinate...it builds animosity
cc

Ditto. Do NOT take this. There will come a day that this little man will need a woman to cover his *ss. With that attitude, he can forget it. Tell him you will not hesitate to file a complaint and completely screw his record. I'm guessing that there is not much of a market for recent food school grads with a documented penchance for sexism. There is always some screwhead to mess up something good for everyone. On behalf of decent guys everywhere, Danielle, sorry.

Danielle, I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this **** . One thing that I am getting frustrated with at school is the complete lack of 'grey matter' in 90% of the students. Basic safety rules that should have become a habit for most people when they were kids are broken regularly and I'm given the "be a team player look" if I speak up. So to get back to your problem, I think the comment was said out of stupidity more than out of sexism. At the risk of sounding like a ***** , I have perfected the art of giving an a-hole an emasculating look before his words get spoken. They don't give me trouble anymore. As Cape Chef said, look them in the eye. I would stare this guy down and give him a smile that says "Poor little man, enjoy your title while you can." He'll get it. Don't bother with vocabulary, it's wasted on idiots like him. There. (Other than that,I really am a nice person. Really! )

[Chef David Simpson]

Ooooouuuuuuch!!!!!!

Okay, well I wasn't going to say anything but since Crudeau brought it up (he's so reliable!) here goes:

Tell him you want to show him your Kochmesser.

Hey, don't look at me! That's what it says on my Henkels!

When the kitchen gets really hot and crowded with hundreds of orders to go out, you will have no problem showing a hard side ;-) and as that side comes out, the boys will realize you are a hot angry women with a really big knife..... Kitchen Confidential, is a great read for understanding the dynamic of the somewhat questionable antics that go on in the kitchen..... It may give you some great ideas for revenge too!!! Becoming "one of the guys" is a good plan .. although then they don't offer to help when they see you hauling that 50LB. bag of flour!!!!!I feel I must add... I have worked with many wonderful men who treated me as a women and an equal.....and a man/women partnership in a kitchen can bring the rythem of the kitchen to a whole new height!!

Danielle:

Show him your knife and tell him that you used to work for a vet and your job was to geld horses. I think he will get the message.

Danielle:

Alternative:

Tell him your name in a previous life was Lorena Bobbitt.

Hey Chefteldanielle, I HAVE testosterone and that P*@@ed me off!. I'd ask him if he can spell "Sexual Harassment" and make sure the instructor hears you...

Someone's "Uh Oh" light will go on immediately!

Now, being considerably older than some - all this talk about the immaturity level at some culinary institutions. . . This thread has made me aware of one aspect of going back to college to change careers that I haven't thought about.

Thanks (I think?)

HANG ON EVERYONE! Out of the last 8 or so threads, everyone was ready to kill! lets all just chill for a second and consider the options. Yes this guy is a jerk (to put it mildly) but cutting his huevos off may not be the right thing to do. Think about the fact that Danielle is in school. School teaches valuable lessons about real life. Not only does it teach us how to hold a knife, but also how to hold our temper. The proper recourse here was to first,let the jerk know you were offended. Let him know you dont want to be treated like this again. Also, you want to document it. A small notation anywhere is proof enough to send this guy out. Now you have ammunition to deal with this jerk if another situation should arrise. Keep in mind that he is your supervisor, and he is in the position to make your life miserable. If you dont have an edge, you probably dont have a job.

Well here is how it went.
I told the guy who actually told me that I had to stand there and look pretty that he is a poor leader.
(he sabotaged me by not showing up today for my sous chef day)
As a sous chef he did not utilize his staff appropriately.
as for the other anti woman man. I went straight to the instructor and him, myself and another woman in the group had a sit down inbetween class.
straightened him right out.
Beacuse this was not the only incident.
On the day that this guy was sous chef he pulled stuff out of my hands and treated my other fellow female student like she was an idiot.
Today I earned all the men in the class's respect by. being a fabulous sous chef.
Producing a masterpiece for my first project (thanks to all of you)
We had one less guy to make this work and we pulled it off on time with a presentation to die for.
I poached salmon and made a roulade and won the price of the day (there were 10 entries)
My plate was magnificent.
I have digital pictures.
And not only that after my presentation my instructor also announced that I had the highest grades and GPA at this time.
I was laughing internally.Boy did the boys have some respect for me after that.
I believe in being one's equal and there are wonderful gentlemen in the class.
so please know that there are some great kids also.
I just received kitchen confidential today and can't wait to read it.
Thanks for your advice everyone
Danielle
p.s there will be no knife battles at this time. trust me with all the testosterone flowing Iam afraid for my life


[This message has been edited by chefteldanielle (edited 02-02-2001).]

[layjo]

Yeah i agree that you should talk with the person who is presenting problems to you face to face and disscuss what is happening, that is inproper. And if that senario fails to give desired results you should follow the chain of command and converse you concerns in the learning environment with the instructor....I guess you alredy did that though....Oh well just how I go about problem solving in those type of situations. Later, and congradulations on your successful poject!

[Nick.Shu]

iam very much out of line here.

But just have a listen. The best way i find is to put the pressure on someone like that do to the fact that: they will hang themselves. You just have to give them enough rope.

Im not saying that you should take all **** passively. What you need to do is to do your best and in the vein of judo, use your adversaries energy to undo them. Realistically, they will do themselves undone and you have assisted them.

Where i went to school, there are many female chefs and i respect them all. I have worked with many female chefs, and i respect a good and right judgement.

Do the job right and everything else will fall into place.

I know that where you are it is school and not cheap but by the same token, it is a theoretical situation and to be not taken as seriously as, say for instance, a situation where you are a sous chef and being paid for it.

Use your schooling to your advantage and dont worry too much about being harassed in school, because, those who harass you there, wont stand a real chance in the real world.

Thank you
Danielle