Seeing as there seems to be renewed interest in this thread, I thought I'd share my most recent review of her show with you...
Spicy Asian Confusion
I think Shamdra sometimes forgets that her 30 minutes of glory on the air each Saturday are intended as an “instructional cooking show.” She consistently blows opportunities to teach the viewer something of value. Don’t worry – I picked up the slack.
Scallion Crab Cakes
Cat Food Crab makes a comeback! The “canned” crab available where you find tuna in the supermarket is the lowest grade crabmeat. Remember, purchase only refrigerated crabmeat from your local fish monger which may be packaged with their store name;
OR national brands Phillips or Blue Star crabmeat. Phillips and Blue Star are available in jumbo lump ($$$$$) or claw meat ($$). I use either Phillips or Blue Star in my prized Italian Christmas Eve Seafood Dinner and highly recommend both brands.
Teach something worthwhile – like where to operate “on the cheap” and where to go for the higher end product. Give the “tuna aisle” crab to your cat – she’s about the only one who would thank you for it.
Big
on the use of tortillas for Asian Food. Scallion pancakes have absolutely NOTHING to do with the glorified tortilla chips in this ep. Scallion pancakes are wonderfully chewy, oily, savory – bad-for-you-but-who-cares kind of food. They are NOT difficult to make and there are zillions of recipes available by google search. Shamdra implies this is a “semi-homemade version” of scallion pancakes but I think she fails to realize that the SH version should at least ATTEMPT to resemble the original version of a dish.
Coconut Shrimp
She’s at it again…using ¼ cup of this and ½ cup of that. Cans opened with product remaining. At least in this ep, she finished the beef broth.
Teach something worthwhile – Like using a good quality boxed stock with a resealable closure instead of leaving behind a trail of half used cans of this-and-that. Heck, that leftover stock may just inspire a pan sauce or soup later in the week.
Spicy Beef
The combination of sweet + hot is a classic one. It’s her execution that leaves a bad taste in one’s mouth.
Teach something worthwhile – like how to “eyeball” where appropriate. Instead of measuring out ½ a cup of marmalade,
look at the jar – if it’s an 8 ounce jar, USE HALF. Why dirty a measuring cup for that? And she didn’t even fill the measure, just blobbed a spoon of the marmalade into the ½ cup and dumped it in the pan.
Cooking is an art, baking is a science. Precise measuring is not always necessary while cooking. What many “survival” cooks object to is cleanup, so let’s take the opportunity to
teach people to save themselves some sink time.
BTW: The chiles used in this recipe are sold dried in the produce section under the name “Chiles Japonese” and
not “little baby chiles.”
How long is this woman on the air? She
still doesn’t know how to get a cutting board to quit migrating across her work surface?
Teach something worthwhile - Dampen a paper towel and place under the cutting board for a stable work surface. This works with both poly boards and wooden boards.
When she “floured” the beef, I had to replay that clip about 3x until it sank in. The intention is to coat the beef with either corn starch or flour, then shake off as much of the excess as possible as indicated in this quote from the recipe: “Season flank steak strips with salt and pepper, then toss with cornstarch. Shake off excess.” Did anyone else bust a gut when she put the corn starch
in the strainer with the beef?
Teach something worthwhile – The proper way to do this is to toss beef in a bowl corn starch THEN move the beef to the strainer and shake off excess over the same bowl.
No thought seemed to go into the
timing of her prep. She would handle the component of one dish, then jump to another. Any novice cook would be confused. (Seasoned cooks only laugh.)
The stupid noodles. Implying they would make a good “Asian take on a funnel cake.” Launch your assault one cuisine at a time, Sandy. Leave the Penn Dutch alone for this week.
Grilled Pineapple
Just when you thought Shamdra was going to teach the viewer a worthwhile skill, fluff is snatched from the jaws of education. WT ever loving F was that about? The whole setup with the cored pineapple elevated Semi-Homemade from sitcom to slapstick. Sandra goes through the motions of getting a knife from her terribly neglected collection. “Now let’s see, I have this big one, a serrated knife and a paring knife.” (BTW, “this big one” is also referred to as a Kullenschliff edged veggie cleaver. You’re welcome.) Then POOF! She advises the viewer to use
canned pineapple and unceremoniously dumps the perfect pineapple shell into the garbage!
Teach something worthwhile – (I got a few here) – like the difference between knives and how each has a job; perhaps to use the pineapple shell as a GARNISH (attention to detail, Sandy) – maybe how canned pineapple is actually cooked and differs from fresh pineapple. Did you know that you can’t use raw pineapple in Gelatin desserts? There is an enzyme in fresh pineapple, the bromelaine enzyme, that prevents gelatin from setting up. (No charge for that one.)
Plating should be done in odd numbers – using even numbers (like Sandra’s pineapple ice cream dessert) is called “static” presentation and is not nearly as pleasing to the eye. Perhaps 3 slices of the pineapple with 2 scoops of the ice cream would be passable – but refrain from presenting plated food that can be counted in 2’s.
In every ep of Semi-Homemade, there can be found at least one nugget of truth. While assembling her serving display, Sandra repeats the line I’m sure she uttered upon meeting The Wallet: “My ship has come in!” While being married to millionaire has secured Shamdra’s place in history as the worst hack on TV – it’s proof positive that money is certainly the root of this particular evil.
. Tell your sister to try the Chocolate Oblivion Truffle Torte (but make sure she's sitting next to someone she reeeeeally likes because orgies have been known to spontaneously erupt near this cake).
