Out of Hollandaise... what do you do? (humor)

[kuan]

Don't take this seriously, we're all guilty of something like this in some form or other.
Let's say you have about two servings of Hollandaise left... which of the following would you do?

1) Knowing the waitstaff will order it if you tell them you're out, you tell them you're 86'd on Hollandaise so don't order any Salmon Mousseline.

2) Be quiet about it and tell the waitstaff when you're REALLY out and make them change the order.

3) Go smoke a cigarette after the rush and let the pantry guy take the blame if someone needs Bearnaise.

4) Allow the waitstaff to order something with Hollandaise but tell them it will take at least 15 minutes, thereby discouraging them.

5) Tell the waitstaff you're temporarily out but you'll have some in a few minutes but never get around to making it.

6) Fry up some steak and eggs with the last of the Hollandaise for a late night snack

7) Go look for the mayonnaise and add a squeeze of lemon juice.

8) Pretend you can't find any eggs so you can't make anymore Hollandaise

9) Spend all night in the back separating eggs while blasting Classic Rock on the Radio.

10) Tell the dishwasher to make some

Kuan

[Kimmie]

11) Send the dishwasher to the nearest supermarket to get Knorr's...

[Linda Smith]

12) Throw a hissey fit ( must include flinging a whisk). Loudly announce to all and sundry (esp the owner) that you are never making Hollandaise again as it is old, tiresome and out of touch. Demand changes to the menu, no demand an entire new menu. Go outside and have a smoke, applying option 10 on your way out the door...Just one girls opinion

[Mezzaluna]

Depends what kind of place you're working in! Some of the dreck I've been served as Hollandaise was yellow wallpaper paste, tasteless yellow glop, salty yellow glop, or a white odd-smelling substance composed, probably, of chemicals and dishwater. Good Hollandaise is one of my favorite foods. I'd rather do without than suffer with less.

[monpetitchoux]

13) Tell the FOH manager to announce to all that the restaurant has just reached it's RDA allotment of hollandaise and for the protection of our loyal patrons' the restaurant is now serving the eggs benedict dressed in it's own poaching liquid.

[blanchtoque]

Make an announcement over the PA system that the Holandaise Chef has gone to the emergency room and you will be out of holandaise for the rest of the night.

This works with baked potatoes, rare prime rib, sour cream almost anything.

[nancya]

Thin a little Velveeta with milk, add some French's yellow mustard....and claim it is the new cheesey hollandaise - all the rage in Wisconsin.

[Greg]

Velveeta? 'Fraid not, Nancy. We Wisconsinites eat only real cheese (and Hollandaise, for that matter), thank you very much!!

[ September 27, 2001: Message edited by: Greg ]

[nancya]

Sorry 'bout the Wisconsin bit there....after all I hear that ya'll have real cheese on your quarterpounders!

Here is a story you might enjoy. The Velveeta Rabbit learns to become a real cheese.

The Velveeta Rabbit

[henry]

I am grieved that you all bash Velveeta. It is a princely food, and hey, its not that cheap either. Its a food of my childhood, and I think it has its place in the kitchen (especially mine)! We make a creamy tarragon sauce which includes a little velveeta and a lot of fresh tarragon that can be used in place of hollandaise that is wonderful.

But seriously, if you have a hollandaise, how do you hold it and keep it warm over a 2 or 3 hour period during service time without it breaking?

Thanks,

H.
Living velveeta loca

Well Henery as far as I know When all the butter and water have been incorporated, strain hollandaise into a lukewarm container and keep in a water bath set between 140 -155 degrees F until you serve. 2-3 Hours I have not tested but it might be worth a chance

[Suzanne]

Thanks to all who participated in this!!!!! We all need a good laugh right now. BTW, Nancya, where did you find that story?

[nancya]

Cute, wasn't it Suzanne? Thanks to cchiu, I'm becoming an expert on the search!

Tripped over it trying to find out where Velveeta is made, 'cause I could have sworn it was made in Wisconsin.

At any rate, the story is part of a short story archive. Stories

[kitcook]

to hold for 2 to 3 hrs, put it in a thermo-coffee pot, works like a charm. Just be sure to rinse out the coffee, cuz we know its in there still !~ heheheh

[Ma Facon]

Make a small batch of hollandaise, If you sell it God Bless, If you don't you will have that much more for the steak and eggs.