Stories of crazy chefs ....

Sorry Nicko, won't happen again.

I keep forgetting that we're not actually *in* a restaurant...

Heitz

i am not sure i should tell this but, i will. my first job in this biz was at 18. I
HAD TO CHOOSE.. WORK IN NY OR GO TO ALASKA AND WORK IN A FAMILY SPOT.

I CHOSE THE NY RESORT IN THE CATSKILLS. the place was huge. evryone lived in the grounds.

the chef was this big black guy from ft.lauderdale,fl. when the "girls" PISSED HIM OFF he would throw french knifes at them.

let me explain.. i was 18 fearless and southern. i haven't a prejudiced bone in my body but, when i heard myself say to this executive chef my third day on the job that where i camr from those of his color would be hung for doing something so stupid.. all i knew was i was soon to be fired.

it po me - endangering someone's life over a meal. later on, he apologized. so did i.

i learned from then on that only losing temper was destructive. yes, prima dona do exists but, does confidence in one's ability have to go this way/

I HAVE SEEN THEM ALL.. THE STORIES I COULD TELL. THE 24 DADDY'S BOY WHO stayed drunk all the time .. the sous who was stoned but could she crank. no thanks.

I just can't wait to get into a real kitchen.
Danielle

[Live_to_cook]

Re: dlachez's butcher's radio

I feel like an anthropologist asking this, but here goes:

Why was the chef justified in cutting the butcher's radio in half? The cold room is the meat cooler, so he wasn't distracting others, right? And it's not like music is verboten, as there are threads elsewhere here with "favorite music in the kitchen"...

Or was it just that the chef said no radio, and the chef's word is law?

Please enlighten me.

[This message has been edited by Live_to_cook (edited 12-14-2000).]

I think that I am one of the craziest people that I work with, and certain servers will verify this. I have been known to go into the dish pit and start singing comercial Jingles, usually the ones from walmart comercials. I have beaten boxes that have gotten in my way and I have also been known to curse at eggs as if they were real people. by the way Heitz your Grandpa sounds like a cool guy, put me on the waiting list with palmier too work for him.

[shroomgirl]

Tony I just finished KC (2 days snowed in...)
when you originally posted the line about the bride I thought the chef's apron was her veil......
I enjoyed your book very much. And now know where alot of the threads on this site originated.

Crazy Chefs? Yeah, I've seen a few. I have in my mind a few owners that were "Loose Cannons".One whom will remain nameless left a
place full of bullet holes in a wall when some biker types pressed thier luck.Had an owner rip the front of a cigarette machine off,take out his pack then leave $1.25 in the
hole because the machine didn't take dollar bills...(The poker machines did)..I don't really think I'm crazy but I did give a linecook a talking to about the importance of
keeping non-stick pans clean and never surrendering them to the dish machine to be lost forever.Eye to eye contact the whole time as I was walking him down the line. When my point was made I turned around and walked to the other end of the line to pick up my trowsers.Class huh?

[shroomgirl]

Yeah but did you get your point across?

[Live_to_cook]

Sounds like you could just say they saw where he was coming from...

[shroomgirl]

LOL that was really good. Thanks for the laugh!!!

[Jon_S]

craziest chef ive worked for is the owner of the resturaunt im working at now. This guy is awesome. hes old an italian, a constant danger to others and hes always got a story, or a smoke. This guy smokes in his kitchen, like a chimney. God help the cook, dishwasher or waitress who tells him he shouldnt smoke in his kitchen or that its unsanitary. One time a dishwasher named brad goes, "hey chef, you shouldnt smoke in the kitchen" joking around because chef had walked around the corner to the pastry area out back. But chef could still hear him. "WHO ****IN SAID THAT???" chef flys around the corner, stares at me and everyone else on the line, and in unison we all pointed at the dish machine, with brad practicly inside the thing pretending to be toying with the soap dispenser gears. He grabs brad, pulls him out of the machine, and asks him politely if he wants to wear his *** as a hat.

One time during my saturday morning bread shift, i was waiting for my bread in the proffer and i had started mixing another batch. With my loafs stuck in the proofer, and new dough using the mixer, for 10 minutes, i had nothing to do. the aroma of tobbacco was strong as chef was on the line preparing for lunch, smoking of course. It was only half an hour into my shift, so i asked chef if theres anything i can do for him. "No man" he replies "okay, do you mind if i go have a cigarette then?" (i figured i should ask considering im only 1/2 an hour into m y shift) "of course not man, i never mind. You gotta live life to the fullest man!" This guy LOVES the smokes.

But my favorite story is, an extremely busy saturday night, one of my first few cherry-poppers as a cook. Chefs wife, also a resturaunt owner was there helping out, and by helping out i mean screaming orders (were all gratefull she operates our sister resturaunt). Then she runs out of chopped parsely and of course its me to go chop some "JONATHAN GO CHOP ME SOME ****ING PARSLEY NOW! RUN! I WANNA SEE YOU RUN" there i go, running for my knife and cutting board. I get into the bakery, and chefs back there doing some prep, obviously too much wine consumed, as hes got his classic contented grin on. So i start chopping away at the parsely, and he goes "no man, theres no time for this, ill show you a shortcut" (he looks around to make sure no one is looking, then with a devilish grin he says "we'll use the robo-coupe man". The robocoupe is chefs pride, his giant food processor that can make a tripple batch of salad dressing no sweat. Everybody knows you cant food process parsley, it turns it into ****. But i dont argue with the boss, so i stand back and watch. Intantly he pulverises the parsley into mush. "lets strain this out man" he grabs derek's apron, whos out having a smoke, and uses it as a sieve. Chef was drunk, so he drops all the parsley into the sink, which has alot of other food particles in it. "ohh ****, lets scoop this out right quick man" so i help him scoop out the pulp of parsley and i had to take it back to his wife. Needless to say she was not impressed. "DID YOU PUT THIS IN A BLENDER? look at this, we cant use this as garnish go do more." Luckily chef was to busy showing a busboy the proper way to polish a glass, so he didnt see me chopping parsley "the old fassioned way"

[Headless Chicken]

Though not my story, my theory teacher would reportedly send out the new guys on a mission to search for non-existance equipment. The best was when 2 guys were sent to the airport Marriott to collect a lobster gun! He called up the executive chef there and he then sends the poor saps off somewhere else, and so on and so forth. The guys brought back a makeshift tool to resemble a shotgun from 1 of the locations!

Some of these types of stories are incredible. People would actually spend hours looking for something silly like a left handed spatula.

[chrose]

Originally Posted by UniChef

I was on the other end of the line when I heard a deep throat-clearing snort, I turned and saw the chef dropping a huge luger on top of a freshly preparred meal. He turned and smiled at me, ladled some sauce on top and put it in the window. The hostess strolled into the kitchen with a grin on her face and promptly picked up her meal.

Needless to say I stayed on that chef's good side.

I just have to say this. I knew of one other situation where something similar happened. To me there is no reason on earth someone in the food business should ever, under any circumstances do this. To me it is the single most vile, despicable act I can imagine in a kitchen or anywhere else for that matter! I can almost forgive any other act but that. Oddly enough that's one of the very few things that gets under my skin more than anything. There's only one thing as bad if not worse, it's not gross, but humanely despicable that I don't need to go into.

[britt]

I was the day sous at manhattan style bistro in downtown Denver. I had the nite slot previously, so I knew the drill. I went to pick up my roomate, who was nite line cook, one time when his car was down. We had just hired a nite sous-chef, a recent CIA grad. This was in the late 70's and back then most of them were screamers and throwers.
The owner was good friends with coach of the Nuggets basketball team.. Some nites he would wait for him to come in and have dinner with him and his wife. Unfortunately this was always at closing time.
The resturaunt was below street level. We had steel grates set in the floor behind the line, over the drain. Being below street level, you could count on at least half inch of "stuff" under the grates. The grates were always pulled up at closing for cleaning.
I walked back to the kitchen about 5 min. after closing time. This guy was pushing something around on the floor with his feet. He then picked it up and threw it on the grill. It was the usual order. 2 racks of lamb and a large filet-all ordered well done. I just shook my head, grabbed my roomate and walked out.
britt

[ogreplate]

Crazy Chefs, yes I've worked with almost every kind of crazy chef I can think of and I guess I've been one on occasion myself. I once sent the health inspector out of my kitchen in tears. It started on one of those days when business was extremely slow. I had spent the whole day cleaning. The kitchen was spotless. I see this lady stroll into the kitchen who looked like a homeless person. She proceeds to start looking through my reach ins,so I ofcourse asked less than politely what she thought she was doing. She told me she was the health inspector. I said inspect to your hearts content. It was perfect timing for once. Everything was perfect. I knew the kitchen was set to get a 100 on our inspection. Except, that I knew the health inspector had a personal grudge against the owner. She looked at stuff that to this day I've never seen a health inspector check. She finally picked up my brand new $150.00 chefs knife and banged it down edge first on my cuttting board and proceeded to scrape with everything she had up and down the cutting board, all the while asking me if I saw the filth on this cutting board. It was plastic shavings- not filth I told her. Then I lost my composure and ripped the knife out of her hand and proceeded to blast her with a long string of obsenities. Finally finishing with I'll have your job for damaging my property. She fled the kitchen in tears. The owner came into the kitchen and asked what the matter was. Then he went into the dinning room to find a sobbing blob of a health inspector slumped over at one of the tables. After a short discussion she gave him her report. It was our first 100 on a heath inspection.