Bolognonese sauce-cream or no cream?

[marmalady]

Pongi I am jealous of your skilled fingers! And thank you, thank you for Balanzone's recipe! Ummm---small question "1 glass of wine" - are we talking shot glass - water glass - wine glass - tankard?!!!

[Pongi]

Tankard of course!

Pongi

[DaveB]

Originally posted by Pongi
INGREDIENTS OF THE ONLY, TRUE RAGU' ALLA BOLOGNESE:

10 lb minced beef meat
10 lb minced pork meat
10 lb minced luganega (Italian fresh sausage)

I hate to criticize, but 30 pounds of meat? And 3 tbsp. of tomato paste? I realize traditional Italian sauces use less tomato than their American imitations, but that's more than a little extreme, don't you think?

[cape chef]

I would guess Pongi meant 1 pound each
At least I hope so

[ShekharBhargava]

...Better make it a tankard, my Marmalady. With the amount of meat in that obviously inferior recipe, you may need it!



At least this upstart Pongi show the rest of you impertinent children how to pay obeisance to my name - always begin with a complimentary adjective. "GREAT" will do. Now, back to the pressing matter at hand.... the decapitation of Pongi's inept excuse for a Genie. . . "Qui sème le vent récolte la tempête"!

Immediately upon reading your recipe, O Perspicacious Pongi, I summoned MY all-knowing (albeit, enslaved) authentic Genie with a brisk rub to my ancient brass lantern (which, by the way is the only proper dwelling for a TRUE Genie).

He took one look at your recipe and looked at me in perplexed horror. He shrieked as if I had ripped out his heart with my bare hands!

Next, he ripped your recipe into little, tiny pieces of confetti! Yes, and then he spat upon it! He continued to spit until... well, you get the idea.

After the smoke cleared, I could see that his rage had magically disappeared. He was smiling! He began to laugh, with a large laugh that shook the walls of the House of Bhargava in New Delhi!

Here is the message that MY Genie sends to YOUR wretched imposter - BALANZONE/BALONEY, the Crockpot Genie:

"It is only by the mercy of my Master, the Mighty and Exalted ShekharBhargava, that you still own a head today! So use it to correct the fraud that you have perpetrated on this forum through the keypad of Pitiful Pongi, whom you have deceived with this counterfeit recipe- which I have magically reproduced below."

INGREDIENTS OF THE ONLY, TRUE RAGU' ALLA BOLOGNESE:

10 lb minced beef meat
10 lb minced pork meat
10 lb minced luganega (Italian fresh sausage)
1 celery stalk, diced
1 carrot, diced
1 onion, diced
1 handful chopped parsley, diced
1 glass red wine
oil and butter
salt and pepper
beef stock
2-3 tbsp concentrated tomato puree (NO fresh tomato! )
1/2 glass wholemilk (NO cream! and, in any case, it's an optional)

While I - the BrilliantBhargava - will lay no claims to mathematical wizardry (after all, with only 10 fingers upon which to count, I cannot be sure whether I have 12 children, or only 11), it is clear even to ME that there is far too much meat for this recipe to be called a "sauce" of any kind!

Now, as for the suggestion by the crackpot genie, BALANZONE/BALONEY:

". . . .he also tells you that, if you'll lay down trembling at his feet, he'll share with you his TRUE, UNIQUE LAMB KORMA RECIPE."

Let me explain this as gently as possible...

"GROVELING", my dear Pongi, has always been a difficult concept for Bhargava to warm to. Are we clear on that? Good!

It appears that your twisted little genie has the comical idea that I - Master Chef ShekharBargava of New Delhi - would not already have four dozen versions of Lamb Korma among my vast resources! So... while the stunning audacity of his "offer" might ordinarily provoke a savage response in hot-tempered ShekharBargava, I will dismiss this trifle with a hearty laugh! Ha Ha Ha!!!

I suggest you put the lid back on that crockpot before MY Genie sends yours to live inside a pressure cooker!

Now, it is time, my Peerless Pongi, to admit that you have been misinformed, and thus have inadvertently misled this forum with a bogus recipe from that malevolent maniac, Balanzone.

Do not expect to hear from ShekharBargava of New Delhi for a few days. I was delayed this morning, but I leave momentarily for urgent business in Florida. My magic carpet awaits... two pilots, but I will be the only passenger.

Farewell, my beloved Chef Talk Café!

[Pongi]

OMG...I must have been so worried about demonstrating that we Italians use few tomato in our sauces, that Sigmund Freud inspired me with a slip! More, I probably wasted all my brains in converting the amounts from the decimal to the American system and after that I was too tired to check a second time what I had written
In any case, where was the mistake? You have two options:

1)Keep all the doses apart from the meat doses, and substitute "lb" with "oz"

2)Keep the meat doses and the wine tankard and change the rest of the recipe as follows:
-10 carrots
-10 celery stalks
-10 onions
-a parsley forrest
-30 tbsp concentrated tomato
-1/2 tankard milk

Probably, Shekharbargava with his 1200 hungry children will like more the second option...

BTW: I didn't say Balanzone has only ONE Lamb Korma recipe! As a matter of facts he has at least TEN DOZEN recipes...he simply chose the BEST

Pongi

[chouxbacca]

hey Pongi...While in bologna (if youve been there-not meant as an insult-) did you ever see the plaque (sp??) there is with the ragu bolognese recipe on it? apparently, there is a golden tagliatelle on another demonstrating the perfect size for a tagliatelle. I have never left canada, so I cant dispute, also, I have never made or eaten ragu bolongese (I know I'm missing out).

but Pongi, If you evr have acess to them, or means to go and look (I think its deserving of a trip all its own after this thread ) do you think you may be able to post the recipe? shanksh eitha way...thish thread wash hilariuosh.

(additional commentary by sean connery)

[Pongi]

Well, my friends!
I have sent my messengers all around the Kingdom, and they came back with the True Truth about the Ragù Dilemma!
Although I've been some times in Bologna, I've never seen that plaque...but I can tell you that the Italian Academy of Cooking (Accademia Italiana della Cucina) has codified the original recipe of the "RAGU' CLASSICO BOLOGNESE" which text is kept into the local Camera di Commercio. This can be considered the OFFICIAL RECIPE, as the Accademia is the main italian authority about cooking...

Being the procedure about the same we already know, I'll report only the ingredients (serve 4):

-300 gr beef meat
-150 gr pancetta tesa
-50 gr carrot
-50 gr celery
-50 gr onion
-5 tbsp tomato puree, or 20 gr concentrated tomato extract
-1/2 glass white or red wine
-1 glass wholemilk
-oil
-beef stock if required

The cooking time, apart from the time required to brown the ingredients (firstly the vegs and pancetta, then the meat) is 40 mins.


As for the RAGU' D'AGNELLO, it's a recipe from Abruzzo:

Ingredients (serve 4)

-200 gr lamb meat, cut in pieces
-2 garlic cloves
-2 fresh peppers, chopped
-3 fresh tomatoes, chopped
-2 bay leaves
-1/2 glass white wine
-oil, meat stock, salt, black pepper

Procedure as usual (cook first garlic and bay leaves, then lamb, then add wine, then tomatoes and peppers, stock if required)

Sorry for the grams instead of ozs...but it's better I spare my small and poor brains!-

Pongi

[Athenaeus]

How to communicate with our American friends :-)





Athenaeus, of course