Do you enjoy compliments on your culinary skills?

[Peachcreek]

I like the gratitude. I like the gratuities better.

Peachcreek

[Suzanne]

Well put, Peach!!!!

[culinarian247]

Originally posted by Athenaeus
Ok admit it in public!
Do you enjoy compliments on your culinary skills or you just don't care?

Don't you feel dreadful when you don't receive praizes for a dish , meal or dinner you have prepared?

I do

Generally no, unless it's my mom. I prefer when a customer doesn't notice anything and has everything s/he expected in front of them. It's when they say something's wrong I take notice.

[Jock]

Am I seeing a trend here? It looks like the amateurs like me enjoy basking in the glory (albeit with a dose of self doubt thrown in) while professionals serving the paying public are more indifferent.
Comments anyone?

Jock

[Suzanne]

No, Jock, not indifferent at all. We just almost never get to hear praise, for one thing. And for another, "every day in every way I get better and better." That is, we know what it should be, we know what it IS, and it's our job to strive to narrow the space between the two.

That's why whenever I eat out, I try to make sure to let the kitchen know how much I enjoyed and appreciated their work. Because while it's their job, it's also their (our) life.

[W.DeBord]

Pros aren't indifferent at all!

We've learned over the years that you must have the self confidence, honesty and discipline to judge your work and that's who's opinion matters the MOST.

In this bus. you can have people praise you for something that's garbage and have no one notice when you've made something terrific.

[Peachcreek]

I think there is a different quality to compliments from customers and compliments from your peers. I cook for money. Strangers have me come and cook for them and for that I make a living. That alone is a HUGE compliment.
Compliments from my peers, the people who haved experienced what I have experienced are different. Its more for my ability to understand where my skills are in relationship to the culinary world. My most prized compliment? When someone I really respect in the field tells me that what it was I did turned out OK.

[alexia]

See the link below for a NYT article on just this subject.

As for my take on compliments, it depends. In general I say smile sweetly and say thank you whether you deserve them (in your own self-critical opinion) or not. It's churlish to question the taste or motives of the compliment giver, even if they're wrong.

Truth be told, I'm more ambivalent internally. If what I've done - in the kitchen or elsewhere - doesn't meet my own standards, compliments disturb me, and I have to bite back the protest. If the dish, the meal, etc., meets my desire, then I'm pleased. But what most pleases me is when my 6 year old gd proclaims my latest "the best dessert" ever or tells her visiting friend, see I told you...she's the best cook... - whether I am or not. (Fortunately, her mother has no aspirations in the kitchen, would gladly never step into one if she could, so there's no element of competition here.)



http://www.nytimes.com/2002/09/08/magazine/08FOOD.html

[Jock]

Perhaps "indifferent" was an unfortunate choice of words. If it offended anybody, I apologize. That was certainly not my intent. I chose that word for lack of a better one at the time and I still cannot think of the right one. But it seems that there is a different response/attitude towards compliments between amateurs and professionals - however you want to define the difference.
Viv la Chef

Jock

[Shimmer]

For my job, I have very little contact with the public, even with the wait staff. My little pastry kitchen is upstairs and I'm usually gone by the time they serve lunch, and definitely by dinner. We don't have a set dessert menu, so I try new things all the time. I HAVE to know what people think so I am constantly grilling the waitresses I trust. We have a clientele that is largely set in their ways, and I am trying to gauge how far they can be stretched to try new things. I'm very new at having so much responsibility, so I make decisions every day based on whether or not people liked what I did!

I would rather go without compliments than endure unmerited criticism. (I've never been good at taking criticism, ever.) I can take criticism from people I respect, as long as they help me by giving me ideas on how to improve, etc. The owner where I work only knows how to criticize, in fact the only time I see her is when I've done something she doesn't like!

So I think this is why I so often cook for friends and my husband, awaiting their reaction. I don't get to experience that moment at my job, but at home, I like to know what they actually think. My husband is getting to be my most helpful critic, because he can tell me what he would have liked the most. My favorite responses are the ones where people close their eyes and start savoring whatever you have made, that's when you know its good!

And in general, I tend to be an encourager, and it only feels natural to be given compliments as well. I like people to continue doing what they do well. I would only want sincere compliments.

In fact, excuse the tangent, but my husband and I are back on the west coast for a wedding and we noticed that this little tiny bakery went out of business. We knew that it would, because the food was horrible. Unedible, practically. I often wondered why in the world this woman ever opened up her own store, because honestly, grocery stores serve softer rolls, and gas stations make better coffee. I decided that maybe her entire life people have been telling her she did well because they didn't want to hurt her feelings, and she believed it enough so that she opened her own bakery. That's an embarrassing way to find out you aren't very good.

So I say to all of you who encourage- please only give compliments to items you truly appreciate! You can always say, "Wow, it looks like you went to a lot of work!" or "The kitchen smells wonderful!" etc!!!

~~Shimmer~~

[catciao]

I love the compliments If it weren't for them, a lot of them, I wouldn't be considering changing my career to food from something totally unrelated. They keep me motivated and excited, which is something I need right now to make this huge step.

Shimmer, I agree with you. When I can see a look of pleasure on someone's face after taking their first bite, it's worth more than the words!!

[Suzanne]

Shimmer -- I don't know if your schedule would permit it, but try to spend some time out front during service so that you can observe the customers. And have a look at the plates that make it back to the dishwasher, before they get scraped. If you're not too shy, you could even ASK the customers. That's the best way to learn how (if) they like your stuff. (Hey, you have to respect the customers' opinions; without them, well, you know ... )

Learning to take criticism was just as hard for me as learning to accept praise. Yes, it's very hard to hear that someone doesn't like what you made -- especially if they say it in a nasty way. But try to hear what they're REALLY saying. It's not a personal attack on you. It should just be a statement of a difference in taste. To contradict The Rolling Stones, in this case it's the song, NOT the singer.

A chef for whom I worked years ago just opened a new restaurant. I looked up the reviews from back then, and compared them to today's. Six years apart, the EXACT SAME criticism of a dish. Don't be like that. Listen to what they have to say to you -- positive AND negative -- and consider carefully what they're saying, and why. Even if it's unpleasant to hear, they just might be right. It's all a learning experience!

[eds77k5]

we are, in my opinion, paid very little for the work we do, most cooks i know that have been in the business for awhile have something wrong, poor feet, arthritis, bad back, something. we work long hours in a very stressful business, when a compliment does come my way, that is the payoff, when someone sends a thankyou note to the hotel for making their wedding great and they remember my name, i guess that is what it is all about

[chiffonade]

I love compliments on my culinary skills. Few things please me more than watching someone's eyes ecstatically roll up in their head after sampling one of my cheesecakes or a braised lamb shank.

Anyone encounter the problem of never being invited to someone's house because they are intimidated by your cooking prowess? I don't care if my friends serve me Entenmann's cake. I'm there to visit and not to critique their foods - unless they ask.

[Suzanne]

I don't think THAT's why I don't get invited.

I comepletely agree, Chiff. Seriously, I just wish they wouldn't keep apologizing for what they serve. As if I would judge them against professional standards; as if I would judge them AT ALL! Yes, the point of getting together is to be together! There's no shame in buying something good to serve! And, hey, there are a lot of things Entenmann's makes much better than I can!!