I love this guy!

[Peachcreek]

From "Ask Dr. Science!" 09/12/02
Why do Campbell's soup cans always say to mix the milk and condensed soup "slowly"? What happens if you mix them quickly?

Submitted by Tom Luckett from Portland, OR
If you can't follow the instructions on a soup can, you don't belong in the kitchen at all. Today's culinary technology is as potentially lethal as anything done in a military setting. You could easily lose a finger or, worse, poison yourself and others through what the FDA calls "Unsavory Combinations" - less-than-serendipitous slips of the measuring spoon that spell gastronomic genocide for the rest of us. If it makes you feel any better, I tried your little experiment. The insurance company paid for most of the structural repairs to the house, but I had to cover the emergency medical team and buy a new kitchen.
(don't forget: he IS NOT a REAL Dr. He has a Masters' degree. In science!)

[Isa]

Too funny, where did you find this?

[Peachcreek]

www.drscience.com They have a daily radio spot on NPR that I have followed for years.

[Isa]

Thanks Peach!

[Peachcreek]

Which is better, a gravy boat or the gravy train? Which will arrive first?

Submitted by Kim Steinhilb from Freeland, WA

They will always be off on the horizon, beckoning and mocking you and your gravy starved friends, giving empty hope which I guess is kinder than grinding your face in your utter hopelessness. Fact is, gravy is bad for you, and is one of the most potent artery blockers in the extended family of food-like substances. You're better off with all that gravy staying well offshore, but since you probably don't know what's good for you, chances are you'll soon be out there clawing through the surf, or ambling down the tracks, in search of the boat or train that has your name on it.

Thank you! Dr. Science!
(Remember. Hes' Not a real doctor. He has a Masters' Degree. In science.)

[MikeLM]

Well, watch out for these academic credentials.

As the old saw goes--

You get the BS degree... and we all know what that stands for.

Next is the MS... More of the Same

Then the PhD... Piled higher and Deeper.

Don't take it all too seriously.

Mike

[Peachcreek]

My mother loves chocolate and I hate it. How can we have such vastly different reactions to the same food?

Submitted by Mary Porter from Fort Dodge, IA

Chocolate is the most co-dependent of foods. It becomes what it thinks you want it to be. In your mother's case, a reward, and in your case, a punishment. You could change your relationship to chocolate, but it would involve changing your relationship with yourself and that takes a lot of work. My guess is your revulsion for chocolate isn't great enough to prompt you to action. If you were surrounded by chocolate and still found it repulsive, eventually you'd be in enough pain to either unconditionally accept chocolate or remove yourself from the situation. But you're not there yet.

Thank you! Dr. Science!

[Peachcreek]

I was in a restaurant and I noticed the menu listed buffalo wings. What are buffalo wings? And where do they come from?

Submitted by Randall Jacobs from Chanhassen, MN
The buffalo wing is to the buffalo as the Chicken McNugget is to the chicken, of course. Be it wing or McNugget, every animal needs one to survive. In humans, we call it the pituitary gland, but that's just because we're afraid to give it a more marketable name like Gumby or Bobo. Actually, the pituitary gland is merely a vestigial remnant of a much larger organ that has fallen into disuse - the brain. Now that modern work demands only rote responses to a uniform set of stimuli on a screen like the one you're reading now, these "knee jerk" responses have fallen to the spinal ganglia, located just behind the third chakra... to use a non-scientific locator.

[Peachcreek]

Why doesn't cream separate from milk in a cow's udder?
Submitted by Jennifer and Ellen from Missoula, MT

Because the natural enzymes in a cow's body act as a kind of internal blender. You can, if you wish, put your ear on a cow's udder and actually hear the blending process. You can even twist the cow's ear to achieve different effects, such as mix, whip and puree. I can't recommend listening to a cow's udder, however. It makes the cow very nervous. Putting one's head under a cow is a job for a trained scientist. By the way, a cow can actually produce ice cream. Since this process involves putting a cow in a cyclotron and spinning her at 500 revolutions per second in subzero temperatures, I can't really recommend this process either. You should probably just go to the store for your dairy products like everybody else and leave the poor cow alone.

Thank you! Dr. Science!

[nancya]

I think Dr. Science went to the same school I did...LOL...Thanks, Peachtree for posting these!

[Peachcreek]

I drank coffee for 25 years. In the last six months, a cup of coffee in the morning would put me right back to sleep! My eyelids would suddenly get heavy, my temples tight, and my face felt like a concrete mask. So, I quit drinking coffee. What happened? Did caffeine turn on me?
Submitted by Danny Gremmer from Green Bay, WI

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I drank as a child, and slept as a child. But now I am an adult and I have put away childish things. It's time you graduated to the real world of coffee drinking. I bet you've been drinking wimp coffee and expecting the results you can only get by way of a stiffly-brewed pot of Ethiopian Harararararar. That concrete face mask is what non-coffee-drinkers feel all the time! We who have become used to the invigorating effects of java forget what it was like to sleepwalk through life, operating at a fraction of our true potential. Don't worry. Grind some real beans. The best years are still ahead of you.

Thank you! Dr. Science!
(and remember he is not a REAL doctor, He has a Masters' Degree! In science!)