[redace1960]

(note: burt reynolds and ned beatty do not appear in this story.)
guess who got hauled off by the gendarmerie? thats right! got in a fight with his wife, she refused to put up with it so he claimed he was going to commit suicide AGAIN. she called them, gave them the 411 and they arrived (used to it by now) no lights, no sirens, bearing zip tie restraints and bored looks. straaaangely enough he remained miraculously healthy throughout the entire weeklong ordeal of jail and court appearances. it was only after he had found a place to flop and another woman to put up with his crapola-an additional three days; quick work for a dying man, eh?-that we got another wheezing, gasping phonecall. i sent my husband to the munchausens syndrome website and even he had to admit the descriiption was frighteningly apt.
next week: the vegetable lamb eats captain munchausen, but promptly spits up.

[Pastachef]

The thing that irks me the most is my boss. She is constantly saying one thing and swearing that she said something else. My co-worker has noticed the same thing, and of course, the boss is always right.

A week ago she told me to come in the next day to prepare a big luch for 15 people. When the house guests smelled the food cooking, they informed me that I was supposed to be off that day and it was the next day that I was supposed to prepare this lunch.

Knowing my boss, (who apologized for the error) I won't get paid for the morning in question because I had a printed menu with dates. I assumed that it was a misprint when she personally told me to come in the next day.

[kuan]

Lately, nothing. I've gotten a little wiser these days. Five and a half years ago I went to work and found the place closed. Ended up a thousand bucks short.