What a waste

[Headless Chicken]

Refering back to 1 of my old posts "WTH Is Wrong With Me" I can now answer that she was a waste of bloody time and money.

She asked if I was interested in seeing Edgefest 2005 with her this year, this happend a few months back. I bought the tickets for her, me, and a friend of mine to go (he came along at her request but its nothing new, we've done this 3some thing before). I had decided to tell her at the event after finding out she does have an interest at work though its not me. Not 20mins after we get seated, my friend complains about the seats. She asked me to buy the cheapest tickets b/c shes low on $ so obviously the seats would be crap. Then those 2 ran off to get better seats where theres shade where I decided to stay and bask in the sun, **** I spent money on these tickets, I wasn't going to risk getting booted. I didn't know where they sat but I only saw them 2x in the whole 8hour concert.

To make things worse, we still didn't connect after leaving b/c we had planned to stay for the Canada Day fireworks. They exited on 1 end where I exited on the oposite side. We agreed on a meeting place but I was furthest away. By the time I got to the meeting area, my cell battery died, the fireworks was over, and neither of them were there. I got ditched a second time.

Am I a little ticked...no kidding. I spent hours looking for them so I'm tired, I missed the fireworks, I hadn't eaten since breakfast and it was 11pm. The only payphone I found was a like a 40min jog from where they where, inside the meeting area instead of the roof where we agreed on. After blowing some steam on them through the phone, I stormed home.

OK now answer me this 1 question. Was I in the wrong, was I a little pigheaded? I paid for their tickets and it wasn't good enough so they ditched me then leaving hanging out to dry a second time. I've done so much and put up with so much for both of them that I actually blindly called them friend up till now.

After thinking it through today, this was not worth it. I'm too pissed to talk to them yet I've recieved no contact from either individual. I was asked to calm down and join them or just go home. I now have nothing to loose by telling her but I no longer have anything to gain even if she responded in kind even to the point where friendship probrably isn't even possible anymore. I helped her move and unpacked, I helped her deliver and pay for her TV, I acompanied her to her sister's birthday where I had to hold back my dinner amongst the smell of pot (makes me nautious)...f**k I even scrambled around looking for her making sure she was ok after hearing she was sick b/c of the heat wave we had a few weeks ago. In return, nothing. She wouldn't even suffer through a movie she had no interest in seeing even though I did that for her a number of times.

Sorry for the long post. My mother says I had the right to be disapointed but I still feel that I didn't handle things very well.

[Mezzaluna]

This relationship sounds neither reparable nor worth repairing. Don't subject yourself to taking this kind of treatment. Move on and watch for signs of this kind of mistreatment so you can avoid it in the future.

I know that may sound kind of raw, but I speak from experience. I put up with this kind of thing a few times, thinking it was something wrong with me. What was wrong was that people sensed they could get away with this and I wouldn't object.

"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me!"

[Headless Chicken]

Well it looks like a lot of people, family and other friends including, seem to support what I did though it still dosn't change how I feel. I'm not a maniac that gets angry very easily or often, I'm usually known as a "wuss" b/c I'm usually so calm and collected.

Well, I will be off to work tomorrow and I'm not going to even bother talking with her or even saying anything about how I felt for her, though my mother objects to this b/c I now have nothing to loose with her.

But Mezz, your right. I've not only been fooled once but twice so I am ashamed for not seeing this thing happening sooner. I even felt something wrong was going to happen and that I shouldn't have gone. Thats 3x now that I didn't listen to my instincts and have gotten burned after the fact. I guess we never learn from out mistakes really, we just learn to repeat them later rather then sooner.

[phoebe]

Oh honey, we've all been there. So please don't beat yourself up about it. Maybe just be glad you had the opportunity to learn what she is really like before you were too far into a relationship. The person you had those wonderful feelings for just wasn't her. I know it's hard, but just let it go and move on.