[sugarBabes]

when they have an opinion that you disagree with?


Not, like, doing something you don't like, i.e murder or picking their nose. Just opinions -- thoughts. They may act on them, but assume for the question that it's all in your and their heads.

This can be as simple as them liking a food you don't. Do you think less of their character/person because of this? Probably not. It's just food.

Or it could be something more serious, like a political or religious difference. Saw you're a liberal, and someone else thinks conservative political ideals are better. Or, you're an atheist and someone else is religious. Do you think less of them because of these differences?

Or it could be something that has ever greater impact, like someone thinking that black people are lazy, shiftless criminals or nuclear war is a good idea, and you disagree.

Where do you draw the line? Why? Is there even a line to be drawn? How is your opinion of them influenced by their opinions? Conversely, is your opinion of people changed if they have opinions that agree with yours? Why do you think this is? Is it a good thing?

[Jayme]

I see this thread going a bit more political than I usually care to... but I'll jump in before it gets too heated...LOL Overall, I think I both see and treat others with respect. It's not my place to tell another person how they should dress, who they should love, what they should eat, or what they should believe in. I respect each person's right to decide these things for themselves. (one qualifier- that decision doesn't involve trying to kill others) I try to always see others for what is inside- what is on the outside is pretty much irrevelant. For every stereotype you will always find someone who perfectly exemplifies it, and someone who complete negates it. It's hard sometimes to not focus on the one who upholds it, to justify the existance of the stereotype. But to see the exception and let it go. I used to at one point in my life, be a very judgemental b#t$h (ah the teen years, when we knew everything..) But the more life I experience, and the more people I meet- the more educated I become. There are people with whom I initially did not care for, but still showed respect; have become someone from which I have learned alot, some, even become friends. Today we use the word "tolerance", but what happened to "respect"? we can only manage to tolerate someone's existance? how politically polite of us to allow a person of differing beliefs/lifestyle/tastes to co-exist with us on this planet...... shouldn't we have a bit more interaction with our fellow human beings than just to pass them on the street? I, personally, do not think less of someone because they are "different" than me (or are they REALLY so different?, will we stop to find out?) I trully believe that most "foodie" people are different- the need to please/satisfy others, the desire to comfort and feed others-- when they come into our restaurants - does it REALLY matter?? (ok podium now available for the next guest...) LOL

[allie]

I am a very opinionated person but I do not judge others for what they believe in, whether it's political, religious, or likes/dislikes. Every one is different and for me that is what makes life interesting. How boring it would be if we all liked the same things and always agreed! Think of how monotonous the task of living would become! I do find people who I do not want to become close to emotionally due to differences but it's not because their thoughts/opinions differ from mine. It is more likely that they judge others who are not likeminded and I do not care to be around that type of person. It is not my place to tell someone that they are wrong as I have never walked in their shoes.

[sucrechef]

I have always believed it is important to respect other's rights to hold any opinion and I don't think I have ever looked down on someone for holding an opinion which differs from mine.

I do have a problem with those people who are so closed minded that they cannot or will not even attempt to see the issue from another person's point of view. I also abhor and cannot abide bigotry in all of its hateful and insidious forms.

[Botanique]

When I first found this group and started posting years ago, it was a safe place for me. I did not feel judged (although some members gave me a good kickboxing match -- always welcome!! ;-) and I felt welcomed. It was like walking into your neighbor's house without having to knock.... I appreciated the fact that when I gave opinions, told the truth -- there was a come back. And, when I got sick, I got support.

I have given reviews that I sometimes think back at... "oye!" <smack on the head> was I nice? But nice is not nice -- truth is. Truth kicks us in the rear for the future.

And, hey, it is okay to pick your people.

Cheers! Stevie

[shroomgirl]

It's attitude.....my family converted to an evanglistic conservative religion and tried to convert me for years, it was annoying but they are my family and I made sure they knew I love them but I wasn't converting.

My guy had different political beliefs, we didn't dwell on them nor let it interfer with our relationship which had so many common elements.

I just wrote about Food Writers not fact checking or knowing industry specifics before printing bogus shtuff.....it's a hot button for me when a writer says, "locally grown organic" and there are only 5 farmers certified organic in the area, I know who they are and I know to whom they sell....I think less of the writers that continue the practice after they've been made aware.

How people treat others is a litmus for my friends.....comes down to attitude.

[Headless Chicken]

I try, please note the word try, to stay away from getting into a heated debate. I am opinionative and sometimes get defensive when I think or feel I'm being attacked. I however, don't develop opinions about people. Though I may or may not agree, I will respect their beliefs and leave it at that. Things I can't stand like racisim, I will speak loudly against but I understand that some religions and cultural differences don't take racisim into account and thus is ignored ie. in chinese, the litteral translation for a caucasin is "white devil"...something like that I can forgive.

And thats the nice thing about Cheftalk, very open minded and welcoming people, unlike many other forums out there...now, who wants to start a fight...er debat.

[JackButler]

Two types of people really chap by behind when they disagree with me.

The first are people who hold that their opinion is true in direct contradiction of fact. Case in point: I still run into people seven years later who absolutely believe that the Florida Supreme Court tried to change Florida election law in favor of Al Gore during the 2000 election. The truth is, everything the FSC did was supported by Florida election law... but you can't convince these people of it even if you quote the pertinent sections of the law to them.

The second are people who, when I disagree with them, say things like "Well, you disagree because you don't really understand". These people are really saying "You obviously don't understand because if you understood, you wouldn't disagree". And that's complete bull. Its entirely possible for a person to understand what you are saying about an issue, whatever the issue is, and yet still disagree with you. Another case in point: I'm an American Indian (and I call myself that... I don't like the term "Native American" because we aren't native... its just our ancestors got here before yours did), and I've run into other Indians on the Internet who get angry over things they personally have never experienced and never will experience. So when I tell them they are being silly, they immediately hit me with the "You don't understand because you don't know what its like to be an Indian in this country". Oops.

Do I look down on either type of people? I suppose a little. One group I see as being intentionally ignorant. The other is just being silly. Do I consider myself a bad person because of it? Not really...

[JackButler]

Originally Posted by sucrechef

I have always believed it is important to respect other's rights to hold any opinion and I don't think I have ever looked down on someone for holding an opinion which differs from mine.

Yes, but there is a difference between respecting a person's right to hold a particular opinion, and respecting that opinion. Some people hold some awfully silly opinions out there.

[Jock]

It is often said that one of the things that makes this country (the USA) great is that we have the freedom of speech and expression. What irks me more than anything is that in many cases the same folks who preach that sentiment are the same ones who are closed minded about even listening to another's point of view. I often think the real message is, "You have freedom of speech so long as you don't disagree with me".

Respect is something that has to be earned; it is not automatically given simply by virtue of the fact that we are all fellow human beings. I have no respect for people who are so closed minded they refuse to entertain any other opinion than their own. I'm not sure you can equate that with looking down on someone but either way, it's not a good place to be.

Jock

[lady therese]

People have different opinions. It just happens that we find someone who has identical taste with us. For example, you both like straight forward and honest people, etc. It matters to a relationship that you have the same interests. But, for me, my opinion of a person is greatly influenced by his firmness in his opinions and having dignity no matter if we agree or not. I dislike people who do not now exactly what they stand for.
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[Botanique]

Jock, yes.

What is unfortunate as well is that people who don't bend, don't bend because their opinions were drilled in.

LT -- It is an amazing feeling when you realize your opinions are valid, and you can think for yourself.