[nancya]

hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee.

[Kimmie]

Thanks! Here's S'more...

• Q.: Why did the melon get married in a church?
• A.: She can't elope!!!

[ July 19, 2001: Message edited by: Kimmie ]

[Pastachef]

Great funnies, Kimmie!

[Kimmie]

Deep FOOD thoughts

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

If vegetable oil comes from vegetables, where does baby oil come from?

What do they call a coffee break at the Lipton Tea Company?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Is it true that cannibals won`t eat clowns because they taste funny?

What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?

[coolJ]

Yay Kimmie !!

[Kimmie]

Thanx CoolJ!

[Kimmie]

Dear Chef . . .

I have notice the "funk" in the world has diminished over the last few years? What's up with that?

Groove

Dear Groove,

The world has to funktify itself soon before "da funk" becomes as dead as disco. We all have to do our part...the easiest way is through funky walkin' and dirty talkin...keep it real!

Yours truly,
Chef

[Kimmie]

Patron: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

Patron: No, it's still there.

Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.

Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?

Patron: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?

Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.

[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Patron: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

[The waiter leaves.]

Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!

The check:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . $1.00

[Isa]

It's nice to see you in such a good mood Kimmie.

[nancya]

Oh, that's funny Kimmie!!!

[chefboy2160]

I probably know the first thing we all learned how to cook ,
and thats toilet paper . First you brown it on one side and then you throw it in the pot . Good luck and keep cookin .

[Olive Branch]

Do you carrot all for me? My heart beets for you! I know we canteloup, but please lettuce be married...

[Kimmie]

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"

"Why, it's bean soup," she replied.

"I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"

[Kimmie]

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"

[foodnfoto]

Where do canteloupes go for a vacation?

John Cougar's melon camp.


What do you call a steer with no legs?

Ground beef.


What was the last thing said at the Last Supper?

"Everyone who wants to be in the picture, get on THIS side of the table."