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04-20-2001, 05:11 AM
|  | ChefTalk Moderator Culinary Experience: Professional Chef | | Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: St. Paul, MN
Posts: 1,315
| | Serious Stuff This is not a good day. Early Thursday morning, my good friend, room-mate and former employee (a talented cook), was pulled over by police. It was just a random stop, but he'd been drinking (and already had one DUI) and panicked. He got out of his car and ran, and for reasons unknown to those of us that knew him, jumped off a bridge over the currently flooding Minnesota River. No body has been found yet and our prayers are with him and his family. So, to any of you that may know someone with a drinking problem, say something or do something, if you can. If not, you may find yourself in my situation; missing a friend that may have gone long before his time.
__________________ Anulos qui animum ostendunt omnes gestemus! | 
04-20-2001, 07:33 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 1,755
| | I'm VERY SORRY to hear about your loss!
I'm glad to see you reach out to others and pass on words of wisdom...I hope you continue.
__________________ "Bakers are born, not made. We are exacting people who delight in submitting ourselves to rules and formulas if it means achieving repeatable perfection", Rose Levy Beranbaum | 
04-20-2001, 07:40 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: This 'n that galaxy.
Posts: 1,586
| | My sympathies. Personally I spend a 20 dollar bill and get a taxi. It's much cheaper than a dui; the latter costs upwards of $7000 - $10000 when it's all paid for. GET A TAXI Y'ALL; you'd be doing yourselves a huge lifesaving and moneysaving favor.
Again, my sympathies go out to you. I just lost a friend to suicide, possibly. We're not sure if his wife committed murder. This tragedy has made me extremely fired up lately.
[ April 20, 2001: Message edited by: kokopuffs ] | 
04-20-2001, 10:41 AM
| | | Very sorry for the loss of your friend. I also lost a friend in an alcohol-related accident when I was in college. Very tragic, and never makes sense. I hope those who drink and need help will start listening. Take care. | 
04-20-2001, 12:53 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Montreal
Posts: 507
| | My deepest sympathies. The loss of a friend is always painful. Hang in there!
I'm glad you're spreading the word around.
Kim
__________________ I cook'n bake with passion... | 
04-20-2001, 01:44 PM
|  | ChefTalk Moderator Culinary Experience: Home Chef | | Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: NYC, NY USA
Posts: 1,694
| | I don't want to turn this forum into a soap box, but Greg is right! 13 years ago my family sat me down and said "You can get help or you can get out." I cannot tell you how important it is for loved ones to lay down the law. Show someone you really do care by demonstrating some consequence for bad, alcoholic (drug addicted) behavior. Don't be afraid to shut someone out of your life. Often it is the only language we understand! If my family had not been willing to step up I would either be dead or in prison. Oh, how I love my family
Greg,
I am truly sorry for the loss of your friend. We are the ones who must decide we want to get sober. Until we are ready (read bottom out) nothing anyopne else can do will save us from ourselves.
Kyle
[ April 20, 2001: Message edited by: KyleW ]
__________________ At weddings, my Aunts would poke me in the ribs and cackle "You're next!". They stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals. www.kyleskitchen.net | 
04-20-2001, 02:37 PM
| | ChefTalk Moderator Culinary Experience: Professional Pastry Chef | | Join Date: Mar 2000 Location: norwalk, CT USA
Posts: 3,754
| | What you're going through sounds really tough, Greg. Keep your chin up, and thanks for spreading the thoughtful advice... | 
04-20-2001, 03:14 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Baton Rouge, LA; USA
Posts: 86
| | | Greg, it sounds like you are greiving your loss, and we join you in that. We all have (or can) experience the same thing in our lives.
Suicide/self-destruction .... we (the living) rightfully say "What a waste of life." We all may think "I wonder if I might have done something to prevent this from happening.." You can .. it's called Crisis Intervention.
Consider this .. almost every town/city has some kind of Crisis Intervention Center, whose purpose is to "be there" for somebody's "last call ??" .. a non-judgemental ear (warm body) to actually listen to whatever the caller has to say.
My home town, Palo Rojo, has such a center. I completed the 100 hours of training and then was a "PHONE Counselor" for two years - a wonderful experience.
Consider calling your local Crisis Center, and see if their program has something to offer you, so that you can help your family, friends, and co-workers (and yourself.)
__________________ ..... from the bayou | 
04-20-2001, 03:55 PM
|  | ChefTalk Moderator Culinary Experience: Culinary Instructor | | Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: CT.
Posts: 5,090
| | | Greg...
My thoughts and prayers are with you and the family of your dear friend.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
I have said a prayer.
Gods speed
sinserly
Brad
__________________ Baruch ben Rueven / Chana
"If the sun refused to shine, I will still be lovin you. Mountains crumble to the sea, it will still be you and me" | 
04-20-2001, 06:00 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Montréal
Posts: 3,617
| | It is always difficult when a friend is lost to find words to express your feeling. My thoughts are with you Greg.
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04-20-2001, 06:24 PM
|  | Registered User Culinary Experience: Food Editor | | Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: NY, USA
Posts: 1,040
| | Dear Greg,
I am so sorry to hear this story of your friend. Be of stout heart, my friend. There are many here who are sending their best compassion, thoughts of support and prayers your way. We are with you and wish you only the best. | 
04-20-2001, 09:42 PM
|  | ChefTalk Moderator Culinary Experience: Professional Caterer | | Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: St. Louis Mo
Posts: 5,661
| | Oh Greg, I'm so sorry.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. | 
04-21-2001, 02:10 AM
|  | Registered User Culinary Experience: Professional Chef | | Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Kamloops, BC, Canada
Posts: 795
| | Greg, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
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04-21-2001, 03:08 AM
|  | ChefTalk Moderator Culinary Experience: Professional Chef | | Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: St. Paul, MN
Posts: 1,315
| | Thanks to everyone for your kind words, it really helps. Today they called off the search and the finality of it all is sinking in. I'll still feel better when they find him, I hope, as I'm sure his family will. As things stand now, I'm flipping back and forth from being angry with him, being sad and being happy that I had the chance to know this exceptional person. This time of night, though, I keep expecting him to walk in the door.
I'm also pretty mad at me. I had a room-mate about a year ago that is an alcoholic. It got to the point where his problem was affecting me, so I booted him. He eventually hit the bottom, sobered up and is doing well. I still can't figure out why I did something then, but not this time. Even though I do know I'm not responsible for my friend's death, I do know that I didn't do all that I could; one horrible lesson to learn and far too high a price to learn it.
__________________ Anulos qui animum ostendunt omnes gestemus! | 
04-21-2001, 03:36 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: Maryland
Posts: 799
| | Greg, my sympathies are with you in the loss of your friend.
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