taboo conversation subject

[Mezzaluna]

Funny we just modified our guidelines here to prohibit religious or political discussion. History has shown that they just get out of hand and it is hard for people to be respectfull.

I thought of our April discussion of "off-limits topics", Nicko, and have followed this thread carefully with that discussion in mind. It's a testament to this community that the conversation about hot topics has remained dignified and intellectual rather than emotional.

[AndyG]

Originally Posted by chrose

I pretty much find that no conversation is verboten. I used to adhere to not discussing politics, religion etc. But I find you can have good conversations even with people that disagree with you.!)

One challenge online is that you don't know who all your audience includes, and who might start getting nasty, even someone you never really had conversation with. In person you can get a sense of that, but not online. My opinion. I have found this site very open to cultural differences--after all, how good can a cook be if they have a prejudice against other cultures?

[Luc_H]

Originally Posted by AndyG

....how good can a cook be if they have a prejudice against other cultures?

Wise words.
Luc H.

[AndyG]

Originally Posted by shroomgirl

Today, after a couple of years hiatus from working with special needs kids. I'm giving a private cooking class to an 11 year old "on the spectrum"....which is a euphamisum for ADHD-autism with sensory issues thrown in the pot. ...

My daughter and my dad are autistic. The "experts" use the phrase "on the spectrum" because there can be a lot of difference between one autistic person and another. My dad and my daughter are high-functioning in intellectual skills, but not very good socially. There really is a lot of variation.

I also think that they don't want people to be labeled with stereotypical (unenlightened) labels because they're autistic. By the way, I'm "on the spectrum" too.

My daughter at 6 figured out 2 to the 10th power in her head. My dad's IQ is genius level.

[kuan]

Money is a sore subject at my wife's family. My wife and I believe we've made wise choices, and judging from some of her family's lifestyles, we believe that they've made some wise choices as well. But oh noooo.. we can't share expertise.

I don't get it. My family talks about money openly. Her family is so uptight about it.

[Jayme]

I think the attitude and maturity of the parties involved trully dictates what is and is not taboo in a conversation. If all parties are respectful and can sometimes "agree to disagree" then there is no topic that is off-limits. There is a chef/student (he works as a sous but he's still in school) at my school whom I love to chat with..... we stayed late after an event and did dishes together... and we covered topics from religion, to politics, to sexuality (homo and hetro), to drugs and alcohol.... and although we agreed on some things, we disgreed on others- but we became good friends through that night. So if everyone is mature and respectful, ANY topic is open.....
I am amazed by people who practically work themselves into a heart attack trying to shove their opinions into another person.... ??? If you have the right to your opinions, why can you not respect that the other person has the right to theirs?? never made sense to me..... no one is going "change" someone elses beliefs (esp religious) by screaming at them. Just pour some tea, break out some brioche and chat....... LOL

[Luc_H]

In conclusion....

Maybe there aren't any taboo subjects but rather taboo people, the ones we should avoid?

Luc H.

[shroomgirl]

lol......Luc... the flux of my tolerance level dictates the amount of time spent with closed (usually insulting) minds.
You are right it's all attitude baby!

[bughut]

I know im generalising, but i find the eldery just dont want to hear stuff thats out of the norm as far as they are concerned.
Taboo around my mother in law and her cronies all in their eighties is any talk of me running my own catering business instead of working the checkout at tesco. Definitly dont mention the civil partnerships ive catered, gay friends, ethnic minority friends, any faults their sons may have, or that life wasnt better when they were young and hitler was bombing the***out of them.
Colour me cynical

[Chef Ladybug]

Wow, AndyG. Can I borrow your daughter until I pass my Calculus class? lol That's really impressive.

I, too, am bugged (no pun intended, lol) a little by the nostalgic elderly, but I have to keep an open mind about that and be understanding because it must be such an awful thing to feel that you don't really fit into the NOW time period. It's gotta be an empty feeling.

[petitgourmet]

I dread it when people ask me what I do for a living. I am a teacher and I have found that many people's views of teachers are pretty negative and they get really riled up when discussing educational philosophy. I've been called a "pinko communist" among other things!

I also tend to avoid at all costs giving opinions about other people's children. Very sensitive subject for most people. (although obviously at work, I have to. Needless to say however, parent-teacher conferences are not always pleasant)

[petitgourmet]

Originally Posted by bughut

Definitly dont mention the civil partnerships ive catered, gay friends, ethnic minority friends, any faults their sons may have, or that life wasnt better when they were young and hitler was bombing the***out of them.
Colour me cynical

Ha ha! LOL! My mother is the SAME. My best friend is gay, and OMG, every single time I go there for dinner she has to bring it up and make some disparaging comment. So sad. What are you gonna do though?

[AtlTournant]

Originally Posted by chrose

I pretty much find that no conversation is verboten. I used to adhere to not discussing politics, religion etc. But I find you can have good conversations even with people that disagree with you. I find it a challenge to persuade even the most stubborn people that there can be good ideas on both sides and that you can loosen up and see the other sides opinions even if you don't agree.

Interesting that you mention that,because I had a similar experience at work the other day with this regarding religion.

A co-worker asked if I believed in Jesus;I said I did believe he existed,but I didn't believe he was the son of God [or the Caucasian he is portrayed as] because I am an Athiest.

Of course I got "The Look" like something was wrong with me and she started in on "Well,if you knew God,you'd believe." She's a very sweet person and I was not about to launch into why I feel the way I do,because that would be a very heavy conversation and I don't think it's appropriate in the workplace.

Very politlely,I said I respected other's veiws and religions just as long as those veiws were not shoved down my throat and likewise,I would extend the same courtesy.

I've just found it interesting that when I mention I am an Athiest,I get an immediate and negative reaction.I have yet to have a balanced conversation/debate regarding this topic.

[AtlTournant]

Originally Posted by Luc_H

what subjects are taboo in your book regardless of your views?

Luc H.

I will steer as far away from any race issue [or a topic that could become one] as I possibly can.

I grew up in Chicago,went to inner-city schools and had no problems whatsoever.I had friends of all colors,religions and sexual orientation and there was a more accepting attitude.Then when I moved to Atlanta,I was exposed to a much more hostile environment.

As progressive as Atlanta wishes to portray itself,there are still racial barriers and reverse-racism [as I'm sure as it is anywhere else].A good majority of kitchens I've been in here have that small faction of employees who clearly hold a grudge against or have blatant disdain for anyone Caucasian [or gay,interestingly enough].I had never been around that before and it can be uncomfortable,to say the least.

A decade ago,you DID NOT bring up an opinion on OJ Simpson;it would cause a huge fight...it still does.Where I was working at the time had a ban on even talking about it because it caused such problems.

Today,you do not bring up the Michael Vick situation because it will become a race issue very quickly.Nevermind the fact that he's a pro athelete who thinks he's above the law,it turns into "They're going after him because he's a successful black man".It could have been Brett Favre [just an example..go Pack!] and I'd still think he was a piece of s**t either way....I don't care what color it is.

I found out the hard way how sensitive this issue can be a years ago when I jokingly asked a co-worker to speak the King's English because I could not understand the amount of slang he was using.Suddenly I was the "White B***h" holding him down because I didn't want him to express his Afro-American culture...it honestly floored me because he was really serious.

[Chamo]

Originally Posted by phatch

Nothing really taboo. Among my friends and family, politics and religion are often the primary topics of conversation. It can get warm, but never unfriendly or uncaring. Always educational.

Same here! actually, I do like it !