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Posts by chefboy2160

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an ahole. 3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your...
Chocolate Tips 1.If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. 2.Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. 3.The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot. 4.Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less. 5.A good...
HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS   The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a “HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS” bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I’m really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at a light at a busy intersection, just lost in the Lord, and didn’t notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people love Jesus. Why the guy behind me...
Abbot & Costello on Unemployment   COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America. ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 9%. COSTELLO: That many people are out of work? ABBOTT: No, that's 16%. COSTELLO: You just said 9%. ABBOTT: 9% Unemployed. COSTELLO: Right 9% out of work. ABBOTT: No, that's 16%. COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 16% unemployed. ABBOTT: No, that's 9%... COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 9% or 16%? ABBOTT:...
y Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. ****************************** In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go. ****************************** On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. The Good Die Young. ****************************** In a Ribbesford,...
Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during past Summer Olympics that they would like to take back: 1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing." 2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother." 3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother...
     May the force be with you..................  
 
The Worlds Thinnest books, FRENCH WAR HEROES by Jacques Chirac HOW I SERVED MY COUNTRY by Jane Fonda MY BEAUTY SECRETS by Janet Reno HOW TO BUILD YOUR OWN AIRPLANE by John Denver MY SUPER BOWL HIGHLIGHTS by Dan Marino THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL by Hillary Clinton MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE by Osama Bin Laden THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD by Bill Gates THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY by Dennis Rodman MY WILD YEARS by Al...
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