Sorry, Achatz. A dinner, even at your storied restaurant, is NOT a concert or a play.
Dining, even fine dining, is a social affair. The whole experience is an interplay between diners, servers, chefs and cooks.
You and your staff are there to serve and create a comfortable environment for everyone.
Maybe since you charge an arm, leg and firstborn child to 'taste" your food, you could have made a small effort to assist your patrons with their child or...