catering-related online comic strip!

[sean seamus]

hello:

i'm a san francisco-based cartoonist who works as a catering waiter/bartender for a variety of companies. i have an online comic strip updated every tuesday called "diary of a catering whore". it tells some mostly true episodes i've had and some more loosely based in the catering world.

you can read it at www -dot- cateringwhore -dot- com.

feel free to leave me comments there, letting me know what you think, share some stories, discuss topics, etc.

thanks,

sean seamus mcwhinny

[chrose]

Sean to be perfectly honest I wasn't in love with the material. The fact that some of the situations really happened make it all the more surreal. For me it could be the fact that that type of social group is so far removed from me and likely most people outside of SF that it's difficult to relate to.
On the plus side your cartooning abilities are outstanding! Let me put it to you this way, and this is only for me obviously. If I were an editor looking for an artist such as your self I would tell you to lose this strip and try again. I don't know what you want to do with your art, but I can easily see you being very successful with just the right niche.
Very nice work!

[AprilB]

Please don't take offense.

OK, look at the strip as a visual sentence. It has a subject, verbs, adverbs, etc. It has a start and a finish. A plotline (albeit very short)Comic strips also have very definitive 'entertainment' nitches. It's like a visual "joke". Buildup/release.

The writing needs work. It looks like rambling and leaves the reader kind of flat. You want to make people think, laugh...feel something...

I appreciate your interjecting your personal positions on issues, but I believe it could be presented better.

There's nothing wrong with embelishing ("artistic license") the way you present your situations to make them more entertaining.

The bottom line is you want people to WANT to read your comic strip. You want to feed your ideas to them creatively, not making them have to figure it out. You want them to crave what your characters are going to do next. (For instance: why ****'s Kitchen is so popular. You hate the guy but the show makes you feel emotions about it)

I'm an artist as well as a chef and have done many cartoons/animation over the years (working on one presently)

Feel free to pm me if you like.

April