[lentil]

I have a wedding next weekend that was contracted for 200 guests. I used to work with the parents, so I gave the daughter a nice price for a big menu. Two weeks ago, she told me that she had rec'd RSVP's from 100. Now, mind you, Dad's paid for 3/4 of the cost of 200 at that point.

I met with mom and bride this week (one week prior to the big day) at the function hall they've rented and the manager there asked her for a firm seating count. They skirted the issue, so I hung back to hear what they said. They told her 140- "the kids won't need seats" . Huh? The mgr says that of course they'll sit and they'll sit in seats that are designated for adults and the adults will end up with no place to sit. Bride says, "well, we're not counting kids- they'll run around and not eat anyway". So I piped in and said that I charge 1/2 price for kids over a certain age and full price for kids over 12, so I'd like to get a firm FIRM count if you please. Mom then says that no, they're not counting kids because they won't eat. (It's been my experience that she's exactly right- they won't EAT, but they'll certainly TAKE a cartload of food off a buffet! Which food is mine if they've not paid for it...)

So I called the manager and asked a few logistical questions and then asked how many she's setting up for. She said 156! I'll do the math for you; that's 16 over the number for which she's intending to pay me. Even if they're all kids at half price, that's still money owed to me.

I'd love to place a server at the head of the buffet line and turn away ALL children. Maybe make an announcement that adults only may now help themselves to the buffet and are allowed only ONE plate. Send a server to each table and rip the food away from any unpaid minors? Maybe have my photographer taking pictures of children eating and send them to the dad with the final bill....

What a bi*ch.

[bluezebra]

Man, have the talk with her now...also did you do a contract? If not you should have and really look into making one up for future use. Get her to sign a contract Monday or else look at pulling out if you have to and it's that important to you. Always always always have a contract that discusses your routine policies and also discusses anything unique to that gig.

[lentil]

You're absolutely right, but because I used to work with the parents, I felt a little weird about the whole contract signing. We have a contract, but it doesn't specify minimum numbers only the payment schedule. On the other hand, I thought they'd be honest enough not to try to get something for nothing. Too late now, but I guess I'll contact her and tell her what my normal policy is.

Another oddity about this wedding is that we set out the payment schedule requiring that they pay 25% up front, and three more equal payments, the final one due one week prior to the wedding. The bride brought in 25% of what the first payment should have been-$375 as opposed to $1500. Her father contacted me and told me that she had no idea how much her food/catering should cost. I've since heard through the grapevine that the grandparents have asked around at area restaurants to see if I was ripping her off. Luckily, my friend, who owns one of the restauants called me to give me a heads up.

They are getting the deal of the century at $21.95 plus tax and service for 4 entrees including chicken, beef, crab stuffed sole, and pasta; 4 sides, 4 apps including shrimp cocktail. Total bill was to be around $6K for 200 people.

She may be a bit*h, but I am a sucker. I'm going to keep thinking about last weekend's wedding where the bride and the mother of the groom hugged me because they were so happy with everything. They had the photographer come into the food prep tent and take a picture of my crew and myself at the couple's request. The groom even came into the shop and tipped me $500 a couple of days after.

I can bet the farm that I won't be getting any kind of tip this Saturday.... I think I'll be chasing them for the final couple of hundred dollars for months to come.

[bluezebra]

Get the final payment before the day or I can see the writing on the wall...you won't get paid. Also, I would go ahead and have the contract signed. Explain to them that because of some of their actions, it's moved this out of the friendship realm and into a realm where it must be pure business. And failure to do that will result in you having to regretfully pull out of the gig. You have a responsibility to protect your business and your staff.

[AprilB]

Friends, Family and Business don't mix. If you want to continue to ever communicate with these people ever again without wanting to slap the c**p out of them then run away. Recommend someone you know and trust...but Uh Uh!

I always find it hard to swallow that these people with bend over backwards to do the right thing when it comes to strangers but have no problem jepordizing relationships or taking advantage of 'good deals' that acquantances will give "out of friendship" <Yeah, like THEY won't pay you MORE because you're a friend...>

Is it just me? ARGH!

You're coming down to the wire here. Definitely write everything down very carefully, point by point and present it to the signers of the paycheck. NOW. If they don't sign you have to decide where you want to go with this. I sure would not want to be in your shoes. (even though in the past I'd be the first to do the same thing for 'family'. never again)

I agree, do NOT serve unless you are paid. You can nicely make that clear to the wedding party. I don't mean being handed a check when you're unloading chafers from your truck. I wouldn't even wait until the day before. You would need a little time to be able to decide if you want to proceed or not and they can perhaps get one of those restaurants that they contacted to fill the bill for...what? A hamburger and hotdog roast? Perhaps you could defer to accounting or some part of the culinary financial world that they wouldn't understand? (I know it's a stretch, but it depends on how much you want to remain friends, which from the reference to a certain female individual I'm guessing not) Plus that dad running around behind your back is ... no I'm not even going to go there.

H*ll, 22 bucks for your spread sounds like a steal.

I suppose they could go order 170 Whopper meals if they're worried about cost! (Just no toy until they finish their fries! LOL)

April

[nowIamone]

I've heard of some catering companies sending wedding customers to those short time loan companies. You get paid before ceramony, and someone else chases them for the money.

[shroomgirl]

I'm with the others.
They've only paid $375 so far and the wedding is a week away?!!!!!
.....payment in full NOW, everything spelled out.....kids cost x

if you're not adding tips for staff to the bill figure out what that would be and add it on with a *

their numbers are 156 that's 20+% less than the initial bid count.....your losing out on the bottom line already.

"No good deed goes unpunished."
not sure who initially said it, but this seems to be one of those times.

Does that count include the photographer, band or any others that may eat?

[lentil]

NO, no, no! I'm sorry I wasn't clear! The first payment was only $375. Since then, the dad has been paying me to catch her up. At this point, the balance they owe around $1500 based on 200 guests. Since her numbers are down, the payment could be considerably smaller. My problem in this is that she refuses to count the children in the total #. We'll see what she says when I add on the DJ and photographer.

If I had only collected $375 and the wedding is a week away, I should get smacked in the head! Friends or no friends, that would have been beyond stupid! Actually, they're not friends; I used to work with them so if this whole thing goes south, I won't miss them at all. I'll be there on Saturday, though. I can't see the point in ruining my reputation over a couple hundred dollars. I'm pretty sure that the dad will pay up as he's the only one in the whole bunch of them with a brain.

They are getting a good deal, but I'll also make a profit- just not the profit I would have made had I charged her what the gig is worth. People just don't realize that it's no easy feat to bring the restaurant to them. All that goes into doing that is an amazing amount of work and shouldn't be taken for granted.

[shroomgirl]

ok, better.
bleck, I hate messy arrangements....happens to us all....

[lentil]

bleck..good word!

My contract isn't great. Would you, shroom, or anyone else care to share a copy of theirs with me? I'd really appreciate it.

[nowIamone]

Who is the contract with? The father or the daughter? Always get the guy with the money to sign the contract.

[lentil]

Originally Posted by nowIamone

Who is the contract with? The father or the daughter? Always get the guy with the money to sign the contract.

The contract is with the 24 year old daughter. Her father has bailed her out of this financial mess. This is an adult woman who lives on her own. I don't see how I could have forced her to have daddy come in to sign a contract.

[bluezebra]

shoulda, woulda, coulda I don't think any of us can look back in hindsight and say we've never made an error in judgement regarding how to do business, I know I sure have made tons of them over the years! But the situation your in right now is a tough one. Grin and bear it and do the best you can to get as much money as possible today and tomorrow...

The way to do the contract with her was to get it either signed with a credit app (which I prolly would have done since it was such a big chunk of change) and if she flunked, I would have said you have to have someone else sign on the contract with you. Everything would be in writing, and number of guests would be confirmed within 5 days of the party and failure to have the last payment made by x date would result in a forfiture of funds to date and cancellation of the party...It should also talk about the facilities and any disclaimers or protection you need to have for yourself in it (such as, running water, sinks, fridges, cooking equipment, electricity, a/c...whatever), and also discuss that outside contractors would be considered part of the head count (that means if you feed the dj, they pay for the dj), also how children are treated regarding head counts. As painful sometimes as negotiating price and terms can be, especially when you are in a "family/friend" situation, it's well worth it and avoids trauma and hurt feelings down the road. Isn't it better to get screwed when you have nothing invested in something? Rather than scrambling and praying you get paid out the "goodness of people's hearts"? Trust me, people will respect you more for having established and consistent business practices versus being "cheap". No value is ever placed on cheap. If someone doesn't have to sweat a little to pay for something, they place very little value on it and it's considered a disposable commodity.

It is well worth getting a lawyer to do a simple contract for you. You can also google it and see what you come up with. But should be easy to maybe even barter with a small contract law practice in your neighborhood or town.

[lentil]

Great idea about bartering for the contract. I'll look into it.

I just sent off a note to the bride and said that I needed the final final count including kids and outside contractors. I told her I was planning to put out 140 plates so I wanted to be sure that was the correct number of guests as the hall manager and I seemed to have different numbers.

I'm sure she's cursing me right now because she thought she was going to get away with something. So did the mother...obviously, the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

[KYHeirloomer]

Many years ago a business consultant friend gave me some advice. FWIW, I'd like to pass it on, as it has bearing on this discussion.

"Never," he insisted, "offer friends and family a discount. Either charge them full bore, or give it to them for free."

Anything in between, he pointed out, is a sure-fire way to hard feelings and a minimum.

Been my experience that he was 100% on the mark.