help!!!

[juan]

hi I am from Manila,Philippines and i just resigned from my work!I studied in NYRS i graduated like 5 years ago and it is pretty hard working with your dad!my dad owns the restaurant!!help i need your advice!=)any Filipino chefs there?

[juan]

this is me again i hope you could me !!!thanks

[lynne]

Dear Juan,

Welcome to Cheftalk!

Are you looking for tips on how to work with family members?

How to go about regaining employment? or are you looking for a fellow fillipino to chat with?

I'm sure we will all give you our 2 cents worth!

I understand how difficult it can be to work with family members, it can be very hard to keep the lines of communications. I hope things are working out, let us know what kind of help you are looking for.

lynne

[Isa]

Welcome Juan, I hope you will find the help you are seeking.

[Pastachef]

Hello Juan. Are you really writing from that far away? I just wanted you to know that we got your message. I hope you find the help you are looking for.

[ June 01, 2001: Message edited by: Pastachef ]

[W.DeBord]

Hi Juan,

I learned how to cook and bake in my families bakery and then catering business for 10 years. They made me a full partner until the day I walked out in frustration. I clearly understand how hard it is to work with a parent. For me I out-grew my Mothers thoughts of who I was as a child and I also developed more skills then she had. Family pushes you harder and expects everything from you. I left when I 27 years old.

Now at 40 I feel so bad for leaving (the business closed shortly after I left). I truely wish both of us could have had the perspective we now have and the ability to comunicate on the job as we do now. You have to reach thru and see things from their side.

Parents push you because they need you and lean on you. They expect the world of you because you are their world. Sometimes they can't admit their child is no longer a child. Sometimes their just scared and overwhelmed by how much work there is and feel comfortable laying their troubles on you.

When time passes you realize they only did their best even though they sure weren't perfect.

I'd tell you hang in there, stay. I now work for other people and I still have alot of garbage to deal with. But now I can't talk back and voice my anger or hurt. These employers just see me as a body, but my Mom loved and cared for me even though she didn't know how to be a better boss.