Beating my head against the wall

[chefrose]

Okay, I am open for any and all suggestions. I am a mature 40 something female. I have been in the restaurant industry for more than 15 years and have owned my own restaurant briefly. I have been an assistant manager, restaurant manager, sous chef but I was being passed over and denied other opportunities because I lacked formal education. Now I am about to graduate from culinary school in December. My problem is that no one gives me any respect and won't let me into this boys club. It doesn't matter that I work more hours than most of the young kids and do twice the work. The 20 something guys are the ones given real cooking positions. How do I break into this chef's domain. I am hoping to get significant kitchen/cooking experience but no one will give me the chance. I want to get my certification sometime next year, but I can't get the "hands on" experience to work with the new skills I have acquired. I really don't know what to do. If anyone can please give me some guidance. Just for the record, the place that I work currently the chef I have been assigned to calls me "sweetie", never by my name and there are no females in any major cooking positions. Help.

[shroomgirl]

Start your own club....seriously.
I have several female friends that are exec chefs, have owned their own restaurants, are currently cooking for 400 covers on a Friday night.......

Umpteen years ago in college I started working in a scratch "Continental" kitchen....puff pastry, alot of classical french....it was run by an owner who had a very successful restaurant in Memphis. I was hired as a waitress and then started showing up early to help prep, then when the chef was fired and the owner took over the kitchen I stepped in to the kitchen full time.
It was a dramatic cut in pay.....but it was what I wanted to do. Guess what I'm saying is there are all kinds of boy's clubs in culinary particularly. But that doesn't stop those of us that want to cook.....

Throughout the years I've hosted all kinds of cool events and asked chefs to participate.....stage work, farmer-chef dinners, now farmer-chef cooking classes, festivals, judging food contests, all kinds of fun things that they enjoy taking time off to come play. I make it easy for them and they get publicity.

Throughout the years I've been to ACF meetings and collaborated with that group on projects, same with aka St. Louis Friend's of James Beard group, I founded and ran Chef's Collaborative in STL, program chair for a professional culinary society,etc... in each case there were opportunities that were developed not handed to me.

[foodpump]

Reading your post I've come to a few conclusions:
1) The place where you are now won't get you anyplace, even if you made like Superwoman and did everyone's job. You're doing it right, knowing that respect has to be earned, but the cards are all against you, so fold your cards and start over. In the Army we had an explanation for this, "Sh** falls in a downward motion", meaning that the attitudes in your workplace come from the top down.

2) Start looking for a new place. The interview will be the biggie, attitudes and perceptions will be brought out immediatly, now you can judge for yourself if you want to work there.

Although I am male, I 've had similar experiences. Automatically branded as a "Canadian Lumberjack" in European kitchens, thrown into the nasty jobs like staff kitchens and graveyard shifts, never making it to chef de partie because I'm not French, having staff talk to you in pidgin English and amazed that you can speak and read and write European languages, what a scene.....

[iggygirl35]

I also worked in a boy's club kitchen and never had more than one other woman in the kitchen with me and sometimes had none. I am over 30 and it didn't matter that I had formal education, worked hard, volunteered for crappy tasks.... I still got very little respect because I didn't have the "tude" and didn't hang "with the guys" outside of work. I fully agree with Foodpump that your best bet is to look for another job. Other kitchens may have drastically different dynamics. Also don't limit yourself by just looking at stand alone restaurants. I eventually took a job with a "global" foodservices company (Sodexho) cooking in an insurance company's on-site employee cafeteria. I actually got a more varied experience than I would have by remaining at the restaurant. I got experience in almost every imaginable area. Line cooking, grill station,prep, baking, deli, catering (for events up to 5000 people), even cake decorating! And without the attitude of the restaurant I was really able to shine, and they were sorry to see me go. I now manage a kitchen for a retirement home. It's not exciting cooking but I supervise other cooks, do all the ordering, track the budget, write the menu, choose the recipes.. all valuable skills I can take to the next job down the road. Anyway, I realize I am rambling... in short, don't limit yourself, good experience can be gained in alot of places, I'd hate to see you give up or get bitter about the job just because of a negative workplace situation. And you've got plenty of time, demand for cooks isn't going away anytime soon, so experiment and find a good fit. Good Luck.

[Andrew563]

I still find it amazing and pathetic that there is still that "boys club" attitude.

[panini]

ChefRose,
Is Ernst still there?
Are you a member of the Chefs association? I deliver there on occasion and you are right, it's still a little in the dark ages. Most of the clubs are. In fact the club seen is hurting right now and CCA is up for sale.
Might want to venture out to a hotel where there is participation in the apprentice program and more of a respect for women. I assume you're coming out of El.C. Great program and should have no problem networking with chefs.
pan
Hey, if you can't take the heat, then get out of the kitchen!!!
Move into the pastry kitchen

[cakerookie]

Odd I should come across this posts. I recently went to work in a bakery where I am the only male! As a matter of fact I was told I was the only male that has ever applied for a job in that position. I think Foodpump is right drop the current position and find something else you're better off. I do not have a problem with my current position if someone can teach me something I am all for it male or female I am willing to learn from them. Experience comes in all forms and it does not matter if your male or female.

[Al_Dente]

chefrose,
I would suggest you try to land a position in a brand new, just opened, kitchen. Get whatever position you can get and stick to it hard and fast. Just do the job and try to disconnect yourself from all the chaos occuring around you as all the 'Boys' fight for position. If you are able to hold tight, you will witness people come and go by the week. And before you know it, you will have the seniority along with the respect of the establishment for avoiding all the BS and getting your job done. You will become one of the ones that stayed with the ship during its foundering first days.
This approach may seem strange, but it is a sure thing for those that can hack all the crap slinging during opening (and there is a ton of it) It is a rare opportunity to use dedication as a tool where experience may be lacking to some degree. While at the same time gaining trust and experience with the management. (Then go home at night and read like a bookworm to keep ahead of the slew of newcomers.) We can always look up a recipe, but only you know how to drain the steam table!

Food for thought

Al

[Steve A]

It's kind of weird I saw this again. National Organization for Women (NOW) just celebrated it's 40th birthday. With that in mind on another site I posted this thread in their forum.

Truly, it isn't all a good-ole-boys-club. I have worked with many women in this profession over my years. I have worked FOR many as well. I followed one through a couple restaurants because I enjoyed working for her so much and I learned quite a bit. And that wasn't just about food.

Ciao,

[panini]

I did do some research. Unfortunately you are caught in what a lot of clubs are doing. They are replacing higher paid older chefs with lower paid younger one. I believe you're new chef is 22?