People and their stupid kids

[stellasmomma]

Originally Posted by Anneke

...Don't ask me what that means in practical terms though....

Exactly. You don't have kids, and you have no idea what it's like. it's all well and good that you had an advanced palate at an early age, but most kids don't.
and quite frankly forcing someone to eat something that is inherently disagreeable to their palate to the point where they sit at the dinner table all night instead of spending some quality time together reading or playing outside or just talking about life is just plain bad parenting, IMO.

[buonaboy]

Originally Posted by stellasmomma

...forcing someone to eat something that is inherently disagreeable to their palate to the point where they sit at the dinner table all night instead of spending some quality time together...

Yes, I would call that bad parenting, (even though it happened to me) -but there's quite a lot of space between that, and letting your children's eating habits rule your mealtime. I would consider both extremes bad parenting. I think we're all talking about someplace in between.
As I'm already learning with my infant, any preconceived notions you have about raising you children gets pretty much thrown out the window once you're underway i.e. me searching the supermarket @ 3:30 in the morning for the pacifier we swore we weren't going to use.
But, just like my life and career, I believe in setting high goals. If we shoot for mediocracy, thats the best we will achieve. I'd rather not rule out the possibility of raising a child with good eating habits, if I'm proven wrong, at least I made an effort.
-I see a lot of parents that don't even do that, and I'm pretty sure thats who we're all complaining about.


-ciao

[canadiangirl]

You are kidding me!!! You do not have kids! My kids eat great but my 2 yr. old wants veggies instead of fries & I get crazy looks! He will not eat fried food or most meats. I will order off menu but if you have veg already prepared isn't that easier than throwing in some fries. Give him pasta off menu & a veg side.
PLUS if we go to a reteraunt w./ kids we always go @ non peak times.

[Anneke]

Before I begin, let me say that my mother was NOT a bad parent. She did what she thought was best at the time. Parenting is such a trendy thing unfortunately; by today's standards, those of us who grew up in the 70s should all be dead. (Imagine if you were born before that!)

I had some folks over tonight, 2 small children in the mix. Here's another example of how we underestimate our kids. The kids' dad tells me he won't put poppy seeds in muffins or pound cakes because the kids won't eat it. They occasionally make rabbit but tell the kids it's chicken so as to not traumatize them. They like their starches and meats with no sauce, won't eat mushroom, etc.

Ok fine. However, my house my rules. (although I always have a backup plan if that falls through - I'm not completely heartless...) I made rabbit ravioli in pepper butter sauce. I revealed to the children that they were consuming rabbit, ready to tell them "just kidding" if need be. They didn't react. A curious "really" was all I got, and they both proceeded to clean their plates and ask for seconds. We had beef with mushroom sauce, which I didn't expect they'd eat. They were curious, had a taste, loved it, asked for a plate. Lemon poppy seed poundcake for dessert. Again, both ate it.

Now I will acknowledge that kids are more accepting of new things when they come from strangers, but it nonetheless proved my point. Granted these are not kids who grew up on McDonalds food, but still. I think parents might get a little too protective of their kids to the point of shielding their delicate palates. There are so many ways parents validate their kids' finikiness. I see it all the time; the culprits are NOT the kind of folk that would hang around ChefTalk, as I think we are united by our love and respect for food, and want our kids to develop the same respect for food. As stated above, there has to be a middle ground.


Ok, go ahead and get angry with me again....

[SparklinBurgndy]

I agree that it's tough to have a kid that's a picky eater, but I see a lot of parents that don't even *try* to get thier kids to eat healthier. I've fielded calls at work from people stating that thier children absolutely would not eat our food; they would only eat chicken. If I reply that we *have* chicken, they don't know what to say.

One case that really blew my mind was a family that came in. From the second I walked up, the toddler son was screaming for french fries.

I work at a Japanese restaurant.

We don't have french fries.

I told his harried mother as much and she seemed flabbergasted that we *wouldn't* carry burgers and fries for children. She was *adamant* that her child wouldn't eat anything *but* french fries.

As I'm sitting there with a forced smile, a voice is saying: Don't spoil him! Make him eat real food! It's not healthy to only eat french fries! He'll grow up stunted!

The voice was coming from the woman's *other* son; who was eight years old, tops.

Twenty minutes later, the child who only ate french fries was happily gobbling up fried rice.

What I'm wondering is how the first kid turned out to be such an equal opportunity eater when the second was obviously fed mostly junk food?

[canadiangirl]

Ya, the last part of my post was lost. The baby seems to avoid the meat on his plate- he LOVES ALL animals & has figured out that beef is a moo- moo and a chicken is a birdie. I put it on his plate but if he choses not to eat it ,so be it. My kids will try anything-it's FUN! My hubby... We were both poor kiddies & WE REACT DIFFERENTLY to food. He eats to live-he can no longer order food in if I am gone for the day! He will not try or even be open to trying something dif. Me & the boys eat wonder ful,creative, dif. meals!
The boys & I LOVE going to a resteraunt and ALWAYS order on the menu but will ask to substitute veg instead of fries-they won' eat em'. They love veg.
My kids & I have to try a new food w/ an open mind(even if we have to close our eyes!)

[canadiangirl]

Since we have realized I am a stay at home mom & will figure how to do that money wise, I cook @ least 4 meals a day. I just make cool things & we have fun. One of the baby's favorites is my spicy tzaziki-tons of garlic! We munch on veggies & dip. He gets lots of protein from milk & cheese!I think definately it is the parents. My mom wasn't good-my dad was awesome---the 2 only things of his I wouldn't eat were bean soup(don't like the texture of beans!)& pea soup-cuz my mom would make us sit for hours til we ate them. Now will only eat fresh /raw peas!
Toddlers will eat what they need --not what we think they should!

[Pete]

had some folks over tonight, 2 small children in the mix. Here's another example of how we underestimate our kids. The kids' dad tells me he won't put poppy seeds in muffins or pound cakes because the kids won't eat it. They occasionally make rabbit but tell the kids it's chicken so as to not traumatize them. They like their starches and meats with no sauce, won't eat mushroom, etc.

Ok fine. However, my house my rules. (although I always have a backup plan if that falls through - I'm not completely heartless...) I made rabbit ravioli in pepper butter sauce. I revealed to the children that they were consuming rabbit, ready to tell them "just kidding" if need be. They didn't react. A curious "really" was all I got, and they both proceeded to clean their plates and ask for seconds. We had beef with mushroom sauce, which I didn't expect they'd eat. They were curious, had a taste, loved it, asked for a plate. Lemon poppy seed poundcake for dessert. Again, both ate it

So Anneke, are you saying (it sure sounds like it) that you delibrately circumvented the Dad's wishes just to prove a point? Sorry, but that is just plan wrong headed. "M house, my rules" then maybe you should consider not inviting people, with kids, over for dinner. As a dad of an 18 month old Iknow how difficult it can be to introduce new foods to a child. As a chef, since Genevieve's birth, I have been determined not to let her become a finiky eater, and for the most part we have succeeded, but there are things she still does not like and things she still loves and sometimes it is just easier on all involved (when out to dinner or over at friends houses) to give her what she likes. Forcing a young child to eat foods they don't like, or think they don't like just makes them miserable and it also makes the parents miserable as you have to fight with a whiny, crying baby, and worry about how the scene you are making is affecting those around you. There is a time and a place to force your child to try new foods and that place is at home (or families homes) and not when out and their tantrums can affect those around you. Glad your little "experiment" worked out but it could have very easily backfired causing the kids to get upset. More importantly though than upset kids is the frustrated parents who have to cut thier evening short and leave in embarrassment because you just told the kids they just ate the Easter Bunny and are now inconsolable.

[chef.ESG.73]

Good to read ya, stellamomma......I can't even add anything to that, except...Ya what she said...

[Anneke]

Pete, I have know these kids since they were babies. They have always loved anything I prepared for them. As stated in my last post, I always have a plan B for them. Repeat ALWAYS. No kid has ever gone hungry at my house. I also tell the parents what I'm preparing before they come over. I am not a rude host. I don't "force" anything on anyone. The entire family knows and loves the fact that when they come to my house they'll probably have a couple of items they're not used to.

I could start a new thread about the roles and responsibilities of hosting where everyone could pick on my terrible manners and I could waste my time justifying myself. The only point I am trying to make is that kids are constantly being underestimated. While some of you see this as a negative, I see it as highly optimistic.

[dudethatsmine]

i dont know when i was a kid i ate what i LIKED and would only eat the thing if i knew what it was its just natural to eat what you know when your that young whats wrong with being like that when your 8 years old ****. It fades out calm down lol. Not everyone was raised by chefs and cooks from the time they came out of the hole. Maybe that family was just looking for a nice night out and WANTED the kids to be happy to. How could you blame the parents when the kid wants chicken fingers is it that hard to whip that **** up . Let me put things in view if someone told me to eat rabbit or lamb at the age of 5 it would be like telling me now at the age of 19 to eat these horse testicals with a nice sperm sauce drizzled on top of it mmm i want some more daddy and mommy.


PS. And no i am not fat when i was 8 i ate my ****** chicken fingers PASTA, mac and cheese with beef chunks and cut up hot dogs AND LOVED every bite of it then i would proceed to play man hunt with the kids around the neighborhood and ride bikes. Kids are kids you can eat whatever as a kid and not gain weight but problem is there are these things called computers that make them fat beacuse they dont burn off the **** food that they had so blame early computer use and video games not the crap food beacuse i do still emit i like my mac and cheese with cut up beef chunks lol its a plate ill always remember that my mom gave me so i can watch my cartoons in comfort.

[buonaboy]

How could you blame the parents when the kid wants chicken fingers is it that hard to whip that **** up .

Actually, yes, yes I can blame the parents. When they walk in, don't even open the menu and ask for chicken fingers. (than has happened more than once) -If they had taken the time to look over the menu, that has taken a great deal of time and effort to comprise, they might notice that there is no chicken on my menu. A roasted half guinea hen yes, but chicken in any shape or form, no. And further inspection might reveal no fried items on my menu, why? Because I have an 80 year old galley kitchen with no fryer, just 6 burners and a convection oven - and I have crafted the menu to accommodate our lack of kitchen, so yes, I blame the aforementioned "Stupid Parents".

Furthermore, I blame the American culture as a whole. We are a culture of convienence, spoiled with the idea that we can have anything we want at the snap of our fingers, and that issue goes deeper than simply finicky eating children.

-but I'm kind of a pinko-socialist, and just looking for any opportunity to rag on American culture.
So enjoy your weenies and mac, I'll make rigatoni and beschemelle for my child.

-ciao

[Pete]

I don't underestimate kids. My daughter tries lots and lots of foods for an 18 month old, but there is a time and a place for forcing your kids to expand their culinary horizons and oftentimes restaurants and dinner parties are not it. By no means am I justifying allowing kids to become picky eaters, parents are to blame if they allow their kids to become so. But again, I repeat, there is a time and a place and in public is not it.

[DC Sunshine]

Originally Posted by rat

On a funny note I got a kick out of the Sommelier opening a juice box for the kid too.

That's funny! Can just picture it now...very elegant well dressed Sommelier cracking opening the plastic casing on the straw and popping it in (wondering if he managed not to squeeze the carton and get it everywhere - they're notorious for that), taking it to the table - ha!

But yeah, too many parents don't educate their kids properly on food, and let them choose what they want at every step. Eat it or go hungry has been my M.O. but haven't tried the really spicy stuff on them till last few years, because they are liking it, didn't before. That was ok, I just added hot sauce to mine at the end. And I'm spice mad

[Free Rider]

Originally Posted by greyeaglem

...............it. These people were all from poorer families, and I think they just weren't exposed to many different things for economic reasons. Today I think it's because people don't really cook much any more and they make things that are fast and easy. The trouble is the kids now aren't willing to try new things. They just state that they don't like that, and that's the end of it.That's why you see so much crap in the school lunch programs. It's apalling, but if you try to make better food, they won't eat it. And yes, I blame the parents because they accommodate the kids by making them something different when they won't eat what's on the table.

It's called marketing. What gets more air time, more face time with the kids, rabbit ravioli or Kraft mac and cheese? Advertising is made to do exactly what everyone is complaining about. Advertising has won. Kids want what they've seen on tv.