Lynne,
I empathize... It seems that the water pitcher incident is only a tip of the ice cube... err... iceberg. Anyhow, it seems that unless you go to an extremely high-end restaurant, you risk poor service at least, and, at best, unrefined service; generally untrainned or unconcerned. Just about any actor can play the role of waitstaff without much know-how nor care. I hate to be critical, but I think the facts are facts.