Tired of being told you have a big ego?

[Dlee]

With all the B.S./ pressure / stress we put up with if we do not have a strong personality, we will go down in flames.

In the same breath, it is go to do a attitude check every now and then, but then again.... what the ****...It is our butt on the line.

D.Lee

[Chef Mark Hayes]

Amen.

[Chef David Simpson]

You said it, Dlee!

[chefjohnpaul]

Egos are things that need controlling, we all have to struggle with this. Sometimes if you know something, or do something well, or speak up it can be intimidating to those that may not care or not have a clue. It can be misconstrued as ego, when perhaps it is merely confidence.

If you do something well and excell or even express your viepoint it's not necessarily ego unless it is selfish and what you're really saying is "Hey, look at me." We all like attention but if we think about others first, and the goal of what is trying to be accomplished then the ego gets smaller. I remember Chef Schoenenschmidt of the CIA say,"There is no "I" in the word TEAM." Yes, even if that team has a leader. Hey, your head doesn't berate your little toe because it doesn't do as much as your hand. It's still a cherished member of your body.

There is nothing wrong with a healthy dose of self confidence in any walk of life. There exists, however a fine line between self confidence and outright boorishness. There is nothing more boring in the world than listening to someone talk about how great they are. My first reaction is to want to make that person look foolish and usually it is not that hard. I choose to let my work do my talking for me. If someone asks me a question, I answer them the best way I can. If I'm praised for something, I'll try to deflect it onto a helper who could use the reassurance. I'm not perfect. I throw fits and have tantrums at times and yes I like to have my ego stroked at times, but the whole "this is my kitchen and I am God" thing gets very old. Besides, the way the labor market has been lately, an A**hole chef will soon find him/herself without any helpers. IMHO

[Nick.Shu]

indeed this is turning into quite a complicated thread. Fits and tantrums usually occur as a result of error on someones behalf.

I like compliments because it means something is going right, but however, im more concerned/interested with negative feedback, because it is a directed response and usually more helpful.

I guess my problem is that: "Compliments to the chef" is both nonspecific feedback and a cliche.

I dont believe that iam god because that is definately not true, but by the same token, the amount of time and training that any chef has invested in their trade/craft should be respected as a variable.

A chef's yell is in direct proportion to how wrong she/he is.

[Greg]

Louder meaning more wrong, I take it? Silly me, I've had it mixed up all this time. I don't yell unless I am without a doubt correct and only in few circumstances.

[shroomgirl]

Funny I had someone tell me it wasn't the project, it was working with people.....guess I put my head down and bulldoze through....interesting concept.

[Jim]

"Sometime people confuse self-confidence with arrogance"

Sisi... I think you speak volumes in one, short sentence! This is the sentiment I was in search of. It appears that I am not the only one that feels this way. Pity, really, that so many customers/peers/etc can't recognize confidence and make themselves look unintelligent by dismissing a chef's ability and calling him/her an ego-maniac.