A funny thing hapened on the way to the Kitchen

[Chef Chris23]

Last night was a great night for my place in the books, almost like every other night. But Last Night something hapen to me that relly made my day.It made me Laugh. I hardley get to do that in the middle of a rush. But i have this guy thats been with us for almost a year, And he says he wants to be a Chef, so last night i gave him a recipe and told him to make it and when i get back from a meating with the owner i would taste it. So i handed him the recipe and went to the storage room for a sec.When i came back the guy looked relly lost. So i asked him if everything was ok. He just looked at me and asked me a question i wasent expecting, he says to me "Chef, how many ounces or in 20 ounces" and i just stared at him, thinking he was joking around, but he had no clue, so i helped him out on this. But i was thinking if this just hapened to me, im shure it hapens to other Chefs. So please share with us your funy storys i just want to know that im not alone.)

[ChefRon]

Yeah; hee hee; I've got two real-life stories to share, and I swear on the Bible they are absolutely true. I once worked in a fine dining restaurant that had recently acquired a $17,000 espresso machine that was installed in the kitchen. Before espresso, regular coffee was served in giant 14 oz mugs. Anyway, one day a waiter was operating the new espresso machine and was exhorting one hideous profanity after another. His language would make a sailor blush. I asked what his problem was, and he screamed (true story): "This #$!^&% espresso machine is a piece of %$#@#&^*! I have to push the #$@%^& espresso button 20 times just to fill one mug!"

My other story? A regular customer (an eldery woman) was furious about the soup offering and demanded to speak with the chef. Her complaint? "I have had soup du jour in this restaurant before, and this is definitely not it!"

Okay, how 'bout some waitstaff follies!

I had a ticket last sunday at Brunch that read...

1 egg benedict
86 ham, add canadian bacon.

duh....

Sometimes the special orders are not to be believed.

lol....
when i was an apprentice.... i was told by a chef to go to another section and ask the chef in that dept if he had any "long weights" ... so i did... and waited i did.... an hour or so had passed before i realised what had happened... i have tried it on a few occasions with my apprentices now... but none have yet fell for it.... i think that must say something ... hmmm


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C=:-)
Dave

I've used the classic bacon stretcher on many a prep cook with great success.

Once I had a server come back to my kitchen and ask "Is there cheese on the cheeseburger?" Very true story. I developed the term waitard after that.

[ChefRon]

Waitard? I love it! I once had one ask which was the cheeseburger and which was the hamburger (I swear). Each month I get at least one request for a prime rib end cut, extra rare. But customers can be hilarious too; just last night two chicken dinners were returned because the CUSTOMERS added so much table pepper they were inedible!

one that I love & it happens alot, whenever I do a sausage special there is some customer that always say's to the waiter, tell the chef I love his sausage. That gets me rolling on the ground.

I always have to resist the urge to cringe when I am carving a Baron of Beef for a wedding or large party, and they ask me for a slice of prime rib.

[Chef Chris23]

ok, ok, true story here. I was making my rounds in the dinning area tonight, and i had a little girl come up to me, pulling on my chef coat, and telling me. "Sir i go to go make" and i look at her, and was like "Make what sweet heart, a cake?"**** i had no ideal, and the girl starts to cry, well any way she goes and gets her mother, and then big bad mamma, had to come over and said, what did you do to make my baby cry, and so i sad. "Honest? i have no cluse, she said she had to go make, and i asked her what a cake?"
well any way the lady started to crack up, and i was like "Whats so funny", and thats when the lady said "thats how she tells, people she needs to go to the bathroom". So all you chefs out there, tell your waitstaff, or who ever that if a little kid comes up to you or them and says that got to go make, take them to the bathrooms, quick.

there was this time when a commie got told this hot tip for cooking cauliflower,to keep it nice and white add a load of white bread to the boiling water as there is alot of bleach in the bread therefore it keeps it nice and white !!but as he found out he got a very instant watery bread sauce with the cauli!!!
i will add some more stories later well the clean ones!!! someone should do a book with these stories in and others like it make a good read might not have any customers again if they got to read it!!!
confessions of a chef!!!!

[Chef Chris23]

hey jamms i agree, wheres HBO when you need them.

[Pete]

Once had this young lady working for me. I was having her make our tamari soy sauce reduction and caught her salting the tamari as she dumped it into the pot. I had to spend 5 minutes explaining that yes you should season everything, but there are exceptions like adding salt to a soy reduction

[Pete]

One we used to pull on new dishwashers was to convince them that the owners of the restaurant were neat freaks and demanded that the parking lot get mopped at least twice a week. We usually let them get 1/4 - 1/2 of the way done before letting them off the hook.

That's mean Pete but funny. Try this one, fill your largest mixed with flour while it's off turn it on it's highest speed & tell some newbie to make pasta or something if they are smart they will notice if not, well they will be cleaning for hours.

well iam glad people are starting to get on to wind ups!!
we like to get new people to fillet and pin bone whitebait
i remember one day many moons ago a head waiter was showing a punter how to pick up lobsters well handling them,he picked up this lobster and larry the lobster wasnt having any of this and decided to break one of the waiters finger,it was a good day!!
p.s. larry was set free to fight another
day!!
i worked in this large hotel which had its own staff restaurant and this chef wrote out the menu and on it one of the main courses was pork wellington!! well i never saw so many staff lining up for this there was people i never saw before ,i donot know if half of them worked there,but they were gutted when they got their wellingtons because they were sausage rolls!!! but hey in away they are pork wellingtons
speak to lot soon see-yaa!!