[chefjohnpaul]

Two of my favorites are, "I'd like my braised lamb shank medium rare" (would you care for an extra set of jaws to chew it?)

And "I want my prime rib medium rare and HOT in the middle!" (Sure, let me see if we can restructure the laws of nature to keep the meat hot and rare at the same time...)

[chefjohnpaul]

Originally posted by chefjohnpaul:
Two of my favorites are, "I'd like my braised lamb shank medium rare" (would you care for an extra set of jaws to chew it?)

And "I want my prime rib medium rare and HOT in the middle!" (Sure, let me see if we can restructure the laws of nature to have the meat hot and rare at the same time...)

[Nick.Shu]

getting back to our mate with the quail, there is another trick i played on him another time.

We used to have a caesar salad with chargrilled seafood on it.

One day he ordered it and i got to work. I made the salad and then cooked the seafood.

After i cooked the seafood, i emptied out the black mussels (the meat i put on the plate), closed the shells, plated the salad on top of the mussel meat.

Then i plated the seafood on top of the caesar salad, and then sent it out (turning the mussel shells upside down).

Heheh, he came into the kitchen and then asked me "great and excellent salad, cooked to perfection, however, the mussels were empty".

Heheh, ive never heard a kitchen laugh so loud (they were in on it).

[Isa]

A few years ago I was having dinner at my favourite Japanese restaurant. A couple of american came in, never had japanese food before. The waiter suggested they tried some sushi. The sushi was served and the first thing the man ate off his plate was the little ball of wasabi....There was no water on the table. Never saw anyone changed colour so fast.


Sisi

beef stew medrareand had a waitstaf ask me is some one can get penne pasta in the lasagnain stead of the pasta sheets.

------------------

[shroomgirl]

LOL that's really funny.....penne
So what did you tell him? Lasagna made to order right? Sir you'll just have to wait an hour and 1/2 for me to put it together.

I love the caper story. It reminds me of the time Captain Dan told me of dining at some resort at one of those huge banquets. His dining partner asked the waiter, "I heard capers are really fish balls. Is that true?"

Yeah. That's why they taste ...

Originally posted by Angelina:
"I heard capers are really fish balls. Is that true?"

Darn.....I knew that someday, the dining public would find out about the Caper secret.

so the topics old, big deal I'm new here.

I had a customer order a NY strip Pittsburgh Style, but they would like it medium please.

A lady at a buffet said she couldn't eat pork because of her religion however that ham steak sounds great.
I wish I could remember all of the morons that I've cooked for over the years, way back in school we had the dessert tray that the one guy spent all night showing. I guess he never figured out that the reason the Ice Cream Quenelles never thawed was because we made them out of Sweetex. As he broke down the tray at the end of the night he asked me if he could eat the Ice Cream, with an incredulous look I said sure. He never said anything but he sure chewed that "Ice Cream" well!

[UniChef]

We had a girl sell the display ice cream out of the cooler (which of course was made with shortening) to a guest. That girl is no longer with us.

Okay, they weren't customers but tourists in St. Mary's City in Maryland (same tribe as some restaurant patrons, I suspect). We had been cooking 20-some chickens on a spit over an open fire - they were being lovingly tended with sprigs of fresh herbs tucked in their little wing-pits and other private places, getting basted in schmaltz that we'd rendered in situ and smelling unbelievable. The spit we were using straddled the fire and had three racks on each side that we were rotating periodically to make sure that the little birdies were cooking evenly. I forget what the sides were, but there was obviously a meal being prepared for a goodly number of people and an incredible amount of work going on. So there we are, sweating our brains out in 17th century clothing, sooty and smelly from the ritual fire dance, and this bean-brain who'd been watching us for some time finally curled her little lip and said, "you aren't really going to EAT that, are you?" No, lady, we're dumping the poultry and everything else and we're going to Mickey Dee's. Jeez.