Are Chefs Abusive?

[AtlTournant]

I guess I'm lucky that I've never really been "abused".Sure,in my early 20's I got my fair share of "What the F**k are you doing?" simply because of lack of experience and immaturity,but it wasn't taken personally.

I've always had the reputation of being easy to work with and for,but with the disclaimer of "Don't tick her off because you won't like it". If someone is doing something incorrectly or any other issue,it's always been dealt with privately,not in front of everybody else if possible.

There are some exceptions,of course...like a blatant,STUPID mistake [too many examples]..well,I will admit to some nasty remarks coming out of my mouth....I've even made a couple of servers cry

[bughut]

In an ideal world all our staff would be telepathic and we would understand totally when they screw up when we need them most...Theres no time. the heat's on as well as the noise and the adrenelin is coarsing . We all need a pat onthe back when we do well and to be forgiven when we mess up... So long as we dont expect it during service.I deal out the praise due once the dust settles and a few appologies after the event, when i know i've been a bit OTT. Re-hashing where WE may have gone wrong is done during clean up. Any major problems on both sides are written down and brought up during quiet times..
Seems to work

[shroomgirl]

I've even made a couple of servers cry

NO WAY!!! ME TOO.

[AtlTournant]

Originally Posted by shroomgirl

I've even made a couple of servers cry

NO WAY!!! ME TOO.

So,what did you say?

This server kept forgetting to ring in her add-on's,so you know what kind of nightmare that can be during a rush.I told her that if she had any less brain function,she'd have a machine breathing for her.

[detroitcook]

I have worked with the extremes on both ends of this "abuse" spectrum. While I'll admit I don't have much personal respect for the chef who wants to be one of the guys during down times and be friendly and approachable, then turn into a raving jerk during service, I'll take it anyday over the current chef who is laughing and joking,conversing with the waitstaff and involving himself in every conversation taking place in the kitchen, even during the rush, while his buddy broilercook sends out charcoal briquettes that a starving dog would have trouble choking down.In essence I prefer a chef who treats his job seriously,and respects his cooks and the food, who cares if a cuss word pops up or a well timed personal jab motivates someone to concentrate a little more on their preparations? The guy who avoids confrontation, and discipline,and quality control, cares not for mentoring,teaching or the betterment of his staff; only cares about his falsely inflated ego, and his fat executive chef paycheck, this guy should be in a different business or at least be a dining room manager!

[shroomgirl]

let's see, one was a young woman who would not stay out of my dessert area as I was slamming out loads in a rush....don't remember exactly what I said, but after saying the same thing a couple of times I get this tone in my voice that apparently (I've been told by several) sounds intimidating.....the register goes at least an octive lower it's almost a growl, combine that with eyes that shoot fire and you've got a combo that scorches. Not something I'm proud of (well not much, and certainly does not in the end make things easier to have to calm down waitstaff) funny thing kitchen guys never really are affected by "the growl".

Oh, and another time I was directing a food stage, which means I arranged two temp kitchens out of thin air with equipment behind a curtain to stage/prep for "talent chefs" and then the stage setup in front of the masses of people. Well one morning a year and 1/2 ago, one of the sponsoring grocery store manager's wife (now I've been at this gig for 5 years and have a great relationship with the manager)...wanted to walk off with my equipment. NOT COOL.... REALLY NOT COOL. I was in the middle of breakfast run down with my externs/pro staff when one of them said, "someone is taking our shtuff"......so I stopped everything and went over to the "wife" and asked what's up.....she proceeded to tell me that she had permission to take stage equipment.....I proceeded to tell her NO way did she have permission, and even if she did have permission from the guys who loaned the stuff to me, we needed it and the mainstage takes precident over pretty much anything else. She pulled attitude, I pulled growl. She cried. Her husband chewed me out an hour later finger pointed at my chest....was not a fun morning. My cooking staff was sitting 20feet away, didn't hear any of it.....I was told by "the wife's buddy" standing next to us that I was screaming.....that would be the power of the don't **** with me voice.

[Chamo]

Well. I used to work under a chef that it was a very big pain in the back; totaly in the use of that psicology that makes you feel like a little bug. I hated it. I believe that some times as a chef, you have to put things in the right path but, without losing the sense that you are working with humans, they fail once in a while....

[nativechef6685]

I've found over the years that being abusive and demanding only leads to chaos and confusions, not mention a lack of respect. As I've grown older I've found that talking to my staff in a calm and collected way produces the desired effect more than yelling and letting my head explode. Granted over the years I've had employees that just couldn't get the grasp of what I expected from them and have had to give them their walking papers. In this day and age the biggest hurdle I'm trying to overcome is the lack of a work ethic and personal accountability. I try to emphasize to everyone of my staff that "Would you eat this dish if it came out to you looking like this?". Nine times out of ten the staff sees it from that perspective and corrects the problem. I've even grown to the point of allowing my staff to produce their own signature dishes. You'd be surprised at how much cooperation you can get when you allow the staff to share in the "spotlight". They tend to see things more from my perspective when it's their name and reputation on line in the same manner that mine is.

Best regards.

[matt]

In my experience, chefs who are abusive are unconcerned with how the food goes out; it's more about dominance in the kitchen. I saw a chef scream at waitstaff for asking if he would put more cilantro in the ceviche, when he'd used parsley because he didn't order cilantro. I saw the same chef butterfly a filet, cook it to well done, beat it with his tongs (pieces of the steak were flying everywhere), weight it down, and throw it in a convection oven, mind you, it was already well-done.


The chef I currently work for plays elaborate mind-**** games that only make sense to him (not entirely true, I understand it's to show me that he's in charge, I just don't understand why he's so insecure...):

Me: Chef, I need shrimp for fried shrimp, should I defrost this box of U 12s?
Chef: Yes.
I deshell 4 shrimp.
Chef: What are you doing? I don't want you butterflying all those. Just stop. Use the 21/25s, Jesus.

1 hour later

Me: Chef, we need bacon-wrapped shrimp, do you want me to use 21/25s or U12s (there's at least 8 pounds of defrosted, uncleaned U-12s in the walk-in)?
Chef: 21/25s.
I deshell 8 shrimp.
Chef: Just stop! Use these (U-12s), Jesus you're an idiot.

This chef believes I'm stealing coats from the restaurant, has told me I need to restock my own plates (dishwashers imo) and meez (despite being the busiest station when i'm busy, and others are free to call for **** when things are slow), and gives me **** when I follow to the "T" what he tells me to do. I've actually gotten **** for wearing khaki cargo pants instead of checks (sorry, dog; it's electric or gas not chef pants or Armani suits) and I don't think my 100% cotton pants are going to melt if oil gets on them, since my ****ing checks are 100% cotton too...

I have had the opportunity to work with some great chefs/managers/cooks/whatever, and I can say assholes are not the norm (it's more 50/50, like life). You always read that a chef is a cook that manages; but, what does that really mean? The lithmus test I'm using now, as I search for a new job, is whether the chef is going to answer my question or tell me I'm an ******* for asking.