[boar_d_laze]

Originally Posted by Dirk Skene

Yeah guys, he's actually warned me about this one. I try to keep it in mind, but in the heat of service I might forget . I think I'll just train myself to where if he asks for tongs that aren't on the clothes line I'll use another pair to grab 'em.

This one was played on me on the first day I was promoted to saute by the chef who promoted me. After they welded themselves to me, he said: "Vaht isht da matter vit djew colletch boy? Ain't djew nevah voirk der grill stayshun? Djew still gaht feelin's in der hands? Ach ha ha ha. Der necks few veeks isht goonner be sehr goot. Djew gahtter luff der firjins. Ach ha ha ha."

BDL

[Dirk Skene]

Originally Posted by boar_d_laze

This one was played on me on the first day I was promoted to saute by the chef who promoted me. ....... Ach ha ha ha."

I'd had to have hurt somebody

[yorvo]

A bit of ketchup under the bar gun after you get a soda is a good simple trick.

My personal favorite was years ago in a Las Vegas hotel we had a dishwasher who was being a pain in the... So I'm making some special Veal Parm for the crew. Six of us. But for his I used a bar rag and cut it into the shape of a cutlet then breaded it and sauteed it up with the rest. I put sauce and cheese on it and served it up with pasta. It was beautiful it looked like all the rest.

A subtle one was in Vegas as well. I worked a place where my relief came in an hour early to set up. He'd fill a bus tub with ice to ice down his eggs for omelets and set it right in the middle of his station. As I'd leave I'd take my knife and make a small hole in the bottom of the tub. He's wiping up water all day.

[boar_d_laze]

Originally Posted by Dirk Skene

I'd had to have hurt somebody

The guy was impervious pain, had been the victim of every rat-f#ck known to man, had a great sense of humor when he wasn't in a drunken, violent rage -- which was about 50/50. So he'd either just laugh or start throwing cutlery.

He'd learned to cook when he was stationed in Paris as part of the WWII German occupation. He claimed to have cooked for von Stoltitz. That could be true or complete BS. Who knows? He cooked like a god, and could teach cooking to a donkey. Or even me, for that matter. "Gott dammit colletch-boy, like zo! Gott dammit!" Don't let my middle-aged infatuation with the fact that I was once young confuse you about my feelings. He was a complete *********ker.

BDL

[PatriceW]

how funny is all this......Gollies am sitting here laughing to so loud and the cats are looking at me weird. The funniest is the dancing question.

Well did the final of my exams yesterday for graduation of the Cert 2.
Have three days to go and have then have the cooking competition. Was really looking forward to that until I got the names of who is in the comp. I am the only person that isnt in the workplace. Am just fulltime in school.

Patrice

[voodoo_sopa]

this is one of my favorite..
believe me it will work fantastic during working night shift or during concentrating peeling the onions or potatoes or during the kitchen is so so dam quiet or during student exams...
very ezy..get a BIG pot the biggest one dat u can find...slowly sneak behind ur victim..& drop the heavy pot as hard as u can...huahhahaha..
will giv them a gud wackup call hehe..dun worry if u scared dat they might do nasty thing to u..quickly jus said "oopppss sorry i dropped the pots.."
walk away ..& can do the laughing later in the toilet..hehehe

[OregonYeti]

This is not a kitchen prank, but it's something anybody can do. My work involves driving a van.

Buy a bicycle inner tube. Cut about a 1-foot section. Put one end around a car or truck exhaust pipe, and secure it on with a zip tie or whatever. It ends up as a floppy extension on the tail pipe.

When the engine is started, it makes kind of a flatulence sound, and at highway speed it screeches like mad. This is my invention

You need the right diameter inner tube to fit on there. You should have to stretch it a bit to get it around the tail pipe. Then if it isn't secured well it will just blow off of there.

[chefstat]

i was working pastries and there was one busboy who would always steal my truffles. i took a quail egg and dipped it in chocolate, then left it out as the easiest one to steal.

[luckycharr]

hahahaha thats funny

[foodpump]

Then there was the noob who got conned into straining the fryer the "easy way". Guess they never had to strain fryers in cooking school, and the noob was very put-off with the job. The "easy way" was suggested...

"what's that?"

"Look, you clear a consomme with eggwhite and meat, right?"

"yeah, so?"

"Well, you just stir a little eggwhite into the fryer, wait a few minutes, then remove the raft that has all the crud imbedded into it. But, hey, take out the baskets first, O.K.?

Eejit goes for it, takes an almost full 2 l sorbetier of eggwhites and dumps them into the hot fryer.

About 30 seconds later "Swamp thing" crawls up and over the fryer, gaining volume fast, like a big puffy marshmallow from he**, dribbling oil over the sides, then the oil started smoking...

Heckuva mess, but the look on that guy's face! Shoulda been a camera around...

And then there was my Chef who almost blew up the staff toilet--and the saucier with it....

[lighthaus76]

Back when I was a line cook we always had a problem with servers swiping fries, onion rings, and chicken fingers off of the plates before they took them out to the guests. One April Fools Day we decided to get back at those thieves! We cut clean towels into strips and floured, egged, and bread crumbed them. Then we deep fried them. They looked exactly like chicken fingers. Then we presented them on a plate with a variety of dipping sauces, put 'em up on the rail, and waited for the madness to begin. Every server working that night took the bait and it was pretty funny watching them trying to take a bite out of those towels.

[JoJoBaltimore]

The bar rag/chicken parm is a classic! I've heard some good stories about it. Funny stuff!

[foodpump]

Another version of the gag is to bread and saute gold a copper/s/s scouring pad.....

[RPMcMurphy]

I rubber-banded the little sprayer hose attachment on moms residential kitchen sink when I was a wee-tot.......



...I'll never do it again.

[xx_dev_xx]

I had a DMO create a horse tail with masking tape that consisted of napkins, air filled plastic gloves, and pink sany wipes and stick it on the tail end of a jacket of a unaware cook who was focused on his prep. Moments later, uproars of laughter will fill the kitchen as this unaware cook scrambles throughout the kitchen with 2 foot long tail dangling behind him. haha

people still fall for the lefthanded parsley chopper and such?