[beefcheeks]

Here's one directed at me some time ago.....

"Yes...I know that you know how to do it, I just do it faster".

[Frizbee]

Chef was making collard greens...standing back and basking in his own glory, hands me a spoonful and says...
"Taste that...that sh%t is so good it will make you want to slap your mamma".
I about peed myself laughing so hard.
But the collards were the bomb!
Frizbee

[notyetchef]

chef to waitress: "oh my god the steamer ran out, go get a can of steam HURRY!"

the first head chef i worked for told a homeless man to "go to **** and get the F*** out of my kitchen" (durring a plate up of a glat kosher function for 800)