Help! Bizzare dining experience!

[blanchtoque]

Originally posted by Ruth
they are there to serve and not to talk unless spoken to .

Should they genuflec and bow as they leave the table massa.

[Anneke]

You know, in this world we all have a job to do and nobody should get a paycheck out of pity. Lets not insult the waitors, shall we? Waiters that are able to stick to their job description get paid handsomely thank you very much, and it makes me wish sometimes that I was a professional waitress instead of a cook. As a waiter, you know that your tip goes hand in hand with how much you are liked, and how much you are liked depend on how well you cover the basics. This waitress obviously screwed up and needs to relearn her basics. When I get good service, my husband, my friends and I and most people I know are more than happy to tip well over 15%. Some waitors consistantly get that from us because they are friendly, because they deal with errors in a polite manner, because they can make the most difficult or awkward siituations seem almost pleasant. Why should the bad waiters get as much money as them? A tip is a reward for good service, period.

[karlaT]

TO INSURE PROMPT SERVICE

TIPS

I good waiter is nearly invisable in my book. Not to say that a good waiter is not remembered and appreciated. Much more then that, I waited tables for a very brief time and it is very very hard. A server must be intelligent, organized, knowledgeable... This person deals with everyone, management, chefs (including all kitchen help, from dishwasher to salad prep) bartenders, wine stewards, and the most important person the customer! Those that do their job well should be rewarded in kind. Those that do not should not be rewarded. Not to say that perfect service is guaranteed a tip.

I remember a Dear Abby letter a few years ago about the couple who took their dream vacation by saving all the money they would have left as tips.
They saw this as a great way to save money. The reply was shame on them for short changing the waitresses that were left nothing so they could take this trip. I expect the tip in advance as part of the dining experience. If the service is bad and I don't leave the expected tip I don't think of this as saving the money but of being cheated out of a good dining experience!

[Risque Cakes]

I live in a very "touristy" area of Miami...Miami Beach and the "gratuities" are included in your final bill for your "convenience". I have been at restaurants with lousy service but still have to leave whatever % is tacked onto my bill...then I start to think....is the server REALLY getting that money at the end of the day? Should I leave a little extra on the table?

What get's my goat is that when you question the added gratuity, they never offer to take it off and let you deal with it yourself, the excuse is that it's there for the convinience of the tourist so they don't have to figure out how much to leave in currency that is not familiar to them.

( I would rather hand a currency converter with the bill and let people figure out how much to reward a good/bad server instead of assuming that we are all ignorant fools!)

[shroomgirl]

wow, saw MaryeO's name and hoped she'd returned....note the date on the original post.

[pgr555]

wow! well it is still an issue I guess...
Seems like tips are no longer tips or rewards. Now they are expected as a payment for the wait staff. It has begun to feel like I am paying more for the meal that should be part of the overhead (ie staff salary). Having said that - I tip 20% for really good service, 15% for anything better than bad service & down form there. I no longer feel obligated to tip if I believe the problem was the servers. I also recognize when it was the kitchen and not the server.
I have worked as a wait person and eat out a lot. I tip more often than not and as I said, usually very well!

[lentil]

Picking up on the issue of seperate checks- when a party of more than 8 request seperate checks (let alone putting alcohol on yet another check!), the extra time it requires to process these checks really adds up! And it is very difficult to get the food all out at once.

I agree that separate checks are a problem, but, and correct me if I'm wrong, but on a computerized system, the order goes into the kitchen on one slip and it's up to the server to sort it out before distributing the bills. Yes, it's a pain, but is it an insurmountable obstacle?

Surliness from a server should never be tolerated or tipped! For cryin out loud, do we go out to dinner to be treated badly? We could stay home and slap food on the table with a bad attitude...for free!

[bbay]

hello.

i agree pretty much with what marzipan said.

you seem to have a point, but i wasn't there.

where i work now, a letter to the owner or general manager goes a long way. i've read a couple letters that were as well written as your original post, and my responce was "okay, who was working? who was the manager in charge? who was their server? why did this escalate to a letter written to the general manager!?"

but, most importantly, my final question is, "what are we going to do to make this person happy?" that can lead to anything from complimentary drinks to a 'dinner on us' to a formal letter of apology from the general manager. depends on who you talk to, the attitude you take, and what you expect to get.

if i were you i'd send a letter, and if that doesn't work, you're left with two options:
1) start a blog dissing that restaurant's name, or y'know,
2) just let it go

i'm sorry you had a bad experience. i know it's a real downer to spend money on something and be unsatisfied (can't walk out on the tab...).
i hope this works out for you.

and as far as the stereotype of sex relative poor tipping, "which came first, the chicken or the egg?"...

[jigz369]

Originally Posted by marzipan

karla-

Picking up on the issue of seperate checks- when a party of more than 8 request seperate checks (let alone putting alcohol on yet another check!), the extra time it requires to process these checks really adds up! And it is very difficult to get the food all out at once.

In all the years I have worked on or run a hot food line, there has NEVER been an issue getting 8 plates up at one time for the table. Please don't dump lousy service issues on the kitchen, it is simply not true!!!
And really, 8 seperate tabs can't be that much of an issue with technology as it is today. Seems to me you're trying to blame everyone but yourself for a job poorly done.
Just my opinion though....

[Risque Cakes]

Originally Posted by Anneke

That reminds me of an episode from Third Rock form the Sun.
Dr. Salomon is trying to understand this strange ritual of tipping wait staff. He decides to come up with a system of his own. He puts a stack of dollar bills on the table upon being seated. He then informs his waitress that this is her 'potential' tip. Everytimes she does something that displeases him, the stack will shrink, and vice versa.

Frankly, I thought that was a brilliant system!

One of my absolute favorite shows, and a great "system" if you asked me!! lol

[ryryryann]

Your experience at this restaurant was really not that horrible. There are many worse things that have happened to people while out to eat. Not leaving a tip is one of the most disrespectful things I as a server think you can do. Servers only make about half of what minimum wage is. You sat at this table for a couple hours and did not leave a tip which is what servers depend on to make money. If you were not at that table they could have maybe had two other parties that would have actually tipped. With the service you recieved you should of left at least 10%, especially because you needed seperate checks. Even with home computers things can still be a pain, seperate checks is the same way.

[Bazza]

Hi Marye O

I am puzzled why you did not query the size of the wine pitchers when they arrived at the table, You say you ordered a half caraffe of red and a full caraffe of white and that when they arrived they were in similarly sized pitchers. Are you saying that you were served with two large caraffes, and that you drank them both? And then when they were cleared and the bill arrived you complained that you only ordered one and a half? It seems fairly obvoius that you drank the two caraffes but because they had made the mistake you refused to pay. You also say that you figured that you ended up getting two half caraffes which was fine because you could always get more if you wanted. It was obviously not fine.

Forgive me for being so direct but I own a restaurant in the UK and you are right, groups of women do tip less, they also look for any mistakes that they might capitalise upon. I will give you a prime example of what I mean, this may sound familiar to you. Tonight we ran out of vanilla cheesecake from our festive (fixed price set menu) and apologised to every table offering chocolate fudge cake instead. Guess what??? almost everyones response was something like this..."Oh noooooooo I was soooooo looking forward to the cheeeeeeeesecaaaaaaaake, I am sooooo disapoooointead. Oh ok then I'll have the fudge cake but could I have extra ice cream with it and a free coffee?"

Here in the UK tipping is discrecionary, if we provide poor service we will not be tipped, if we provide good service we might be tipped. 10% is customary but if a bill was say £37.95 it would quite likely be rounded up to £40.00. If tipping is optional over there then I think your guy was wrong to phone the hotel and you have every right not to tip if you are not happy wth the service. Over here that would be bordering on harassment. I do not believe in causing a scene in a restaurant I think that people do it to get discount. If I am not happy with the meal or the service I will not tip and I will not return.

I think that if I was in a restaurant eating food that was spectacular-delicious and beautifully presented and subsidised by an expense account, I might overlook some of the things that you mention like the coffee and soda refills. We always say if you have a problem tell us at the time and then we can address the issue, its not fair to complain about something after the event.

Im sorry my response has turned into something of a rant and I mean in no way to offend you, I am just the guy on the other side of the fence trying to redress the balance a little here. I know a bad restaurant experience can be upsetting but is it really that bad? Life is too short for reprisals, I would forget the whole thing and move on.

[lentil]

Originally Posted by ryryryann

Not leaving a tip is one of the most disrespectful things I as a server think you can do. Servers only make about half of what minimum wage is


Even with home computers things can still be a pain, seperate checks is the same way.

ryryryann,

Disrespectful? Tips aren't a show of respect, but payment for a job well done.

If the server doesn't do the job he or she is hired for, then why should they get a tip? I'm not saying this out of ignorance as I was a server, bartender, cocktail waitress for many years. I knew if I didn't do a good job I wouldn't make much in tips, therefore I tried hard to make my customers happy and in turn, made very good money. Naturally, there were customers who simply weren't going to be happy no matter what I did, but for the most part, the tips went up when the service and food were good.

Of course, the server isn't responsible for the kitchen nor is he/she responsible for the policies of the restaurant, but if it's that and not their service that keep them from making good money, then I say move on. A good server can graciously handle problems that crop up whether they're his fault or not.

There seems to be a problem with the attitude of some people who are hired to serve the public. They aren't doing anyone any favors; it's their job. Just yesterday, my daughter and I were standing at the counter at Pier 1. The 3 young women working there couldn't stop their conversation long enough to wait on us. When one of them did come over, she never missed a beat in her conversation all the while taking our money and bagging our purchases.

Just before Christmas, I stopped at a Dunkin Donuts in the mall for a quick coffee. The coffee was so weak, I had to take the lid off to make sure it wasn't just hot water. It was almost as if someone had inadvertently run another pot through used grounds. I brought it back to the counter and asked for another cup since this one was so weak it didn't even taste like DD's coffee. The girl told me I shoudl have ordered espresso if I wanted strong coffee. I said no, that DD's coffee is normally fine. She proceeded to yell to the others working there that I said it wasn't DD coffee, hahaha. When she started to pour me another cup I noticed that it too was weak so I told her to never mind. I WAS NOT in any way mean or nasty. After another sip, I decided that I just couldn't drink if, so I asked for my money back since there was obviously something wrong. This little girl started arguing with me! I was very calm and polite and told her I didn't want to debate the issue with her. She continued to argue so I asked her to get someone to refund my money. Her manager came over and calmly gave me my $$ back and I very politely wished her a Merry Christmas and said thank you, to which the manager thanked me. No problem at all. All the while, the little snit was ranting loudly about me and my coffee.

Now some may be saying that it was only a $2 cup of coffee so what's the big deal. My point is that if it was $2 or $2000, it is my money and the product was faulty. Why should anyone pay for something that's faulty whether it's a computer or cup of coffee? It's time we all stopped acting as if we were being done a favor when we hand over our money. What makes us afraid to ask for what we're paying for? I say let's burn our bras or something. No wait! That's another issue....

[shel]

Originally Posted by ryryryann

Not leaving a tip is one of the most disrespectful things I as a server think you can do

Some of the service we've received has been pretty damned disrespectful as well.

There was a time when four of us were out for dinner at a well regarded San Francisco restaurant. We all agreed that the service stunk - there was a concensus. We left a very small tip. We didn't want the server to feel that we'd forgotten the tip, but wanted to make the point we were unhappy with the service. Two of us went to the men's room, and I'll be damned, the server followed us in and demanded a larger tip!

Another time i was eating alone in a Berkeley restaurant, and the service was atrocious. I didn't leave a tip, and the waitress followed me out to the car and demanded I tip her. I explained that the service stunk, and that she'd get no tip from me. The next day I called the restaurant and spoke with the owner. Needles to say, that server never folowed a customer outto their car again.

So, don't talk to me about being disrespectful. When a server does a reasonable job they should get a reasonable tip. When they do a lousy job they should get a lousy tip or no tip at all.

If we're going out and spending our hard-earned money for a meal and service, I don't feel a need to reward the server for ruining or diminishing our experience. On the other hand, should they help make our experience a good one, it's bonus time. That's just the nature of the business,

I've had my own business for many years. If I screw up or don't do a good job, I'd expect my clients to let me know about it one way or another. In the restaurant business the tip is one way - a good way - of letting the server know what you thought of the service.

shel

[lentil]

Very well said, Shel!