Help! Bizzare dining experience!

What a horrible dining experience six of my coworkers and I had last night.

We’ve been travelling on business in rural Virginia for the past two-and-a-half weeks; all of us really enjoy food, so finding good places to eat has been almost a recreational activity. One of us had heard some favorable comments about a place here in Winchester, so we made reservations and headed over there. Lovely ambience, and it smelled so good in there that I wanted to eat the air.

The only faux pas we were guilty of is asking for separate checks; in order to be reimbursed by our accounting department, we are required to attach original receipts for each meal. We also requested that the liquor be put on a separate bill since, invariably, if anything vaguely alcoholic appears on a receipt, there is a problem . . . we always kid one of our friends who had her expense-report kicked back because there were “tequila poppers” on there. These were, of course, jalepeno pepper poppers.

Anyway, we apologetically made our request and our waitress was very pleasant about it. We ordered a half-carafe of red wine and a full carafe of white zin. When the wine arrived, it was in very attractive (but similarly sized) stoneware pitchers; I just figured that we wound up getting two half-carafes which was fine because we could always get more if we wanted.

The food was spectacular – delicious and beautifully presented. The portions were modest, but since we don’t have fridges in our hotel rooms that was ok. Besides, we wanted to leave room for dessert. We had long exceeded our dinner allowances, but it was worth every penny.

The only down-side thus far was very slow service; there were seven of us, so we were patient about it. The food had been so glorious that nobody was in a huge hurry anyway. The diners at the other tables didn’t seem to be having the same service problems, but what the heck? Plus, we were an all-woman group and are accustomed to receiving somewhat second-class service; groups like ours are notoriously bad tippers (gosh, could it be because we receive such lousy service?)

After being in there for nearly three hours, we were done and ready to pay our bills. The woman seated next to me mentioned that we’d been charged for a full carafe of the red wine, so I called the waitress over and explained to her that we’d ordered only a half-carafe. She started forcibly arguing with me about it, and the maitre d’ arrived on the scene. I maintained that I had heard the order for the half, and that the wine arriving in the pitchers made it difficult for a non-regular customer to determine what their definition of a carafe was. After a totally unexpected debate (was the wine consumed? Why yes, it was you twit – we didn’t compare pitcher contents prior to pouring the stuff down our gullets), he finally charged us just for the half. Our total bill was in the neighborhood of $400, so knocking $7.00 off didn’t seem like such an extraordinary thing to do.

What had begun as a truly lovely and relaxing evening had turned sour. Without a word, we had individually decided that we were not going to leave a tip for our surly waitress. Service that had been mediocre was reassessed as neglectful and nearly insulting. During the three hours, my coffee cup had only gotten refilled once, and one of the other ladies had been charged for a soda refill (not specified on the menu).

We were in the process of settling our bills, and mine was at the bottom of the pile. I finally got exasperated and we left – I only had a couple of dollars in change coming, I had my receipt, and we just wanted to get the heck out of there.

We were scarcely ten feet out the door before the maitre d’ came zooming out the door and confronted me, demanding “Is this ALL you meant to leave?” I responded by simply saying, “Yes it is” and continued walking.

We got back to our hotel, and not 15 minutes later, the coworker that had made the reservation called me to tell me that the restaurant owner had tracked us down to our hotel (no, they didn’t ask for a phone number when the reservations were made). He asked her what the deal was, and why we hadn’t left the “customary” tip. She explained what had happened, and he insisted that he had heard quite a different story. I can't imagine what it was - we hadn't made any of our normal sacrifice of virgins at our table or put our knickers on our heads, so I still can't figure out what we'd done that was so egregious.

What a night – treated like cat-droppings and then an intrusive (and somewhat creepy) phone call – he had to have called every hotel in the area to find us.

I apologize for this long rant, but we would really like to complain to someone. Since the owner seems to be part of the problem, kvetching to him would accomplish nothing. I’m looking for some ideas!! I’m not normally a vindictive person, but the experience was really horrendous and humiliating. Obviously we won't be going back there, and we certainly aren't going to send anyone there that we like or has self-esteem issues.

Help!!!!

Marye O

[kuan]

So what was the name of this restaurant and where exactly was it?

Kuan

The name of the place is "Violino," and it's in Old-Town Winchester, Virginia. I guess it wouldn't have been such an awful experience if the food hadn't been so outstanding; prior to things going bad, we were going to return there. Now I don't think any of us wouold go in there under threat of dismemberment.

[KyleW]

Kuan, I'm so proud of you No more enabling!

It amazes me that we are expected not only to tolerate lousy service, but expected to pay for the privelege. I eat out a fair amount and have begun to eliminate the reflex tip. If you want money that I have worked hard for treat me well.

[Isa]

That's enough to make you feel paranoid. At this point you were lucky no on was waiting for you when you left the hotel the next day. What a scary experience.

It's funny that customers are always expected to leave a generous tip even when the service left to be desire.

[chrose]

MaryeO,
It's a shame that that happened to you at a small place that doesn't have a bigger owner that would make complaining more effective. Still I think you should go that little bit of extra effort. Not necessarily for vindictiveness but to make a statement and let people know. Yoy may not be the only one. Your letter was written perfectly it was complimentry and forthright without being obnoxious. I would take the exact letter that you wrote, don't change a word. Write a cover letter explaining why you wrote the original letter and send a copy to the NRA (the restaurant one not the rifle, though in Winchester they'ld probably be happy to act on your situation )
A copy to the local newspapers entertainment section or editorial if they have one, and a copy to the owner and any partners he may have if he does. The only thing you can really do is to spread the word. It gets around. And let the owner know you're sending copies.

send to these guys too. Violino is recommended by
L'Accademia della Cucina Italiana of Washington, DC
and send a copy addressed to his wife.
owners Chef Franco & Marcella Stocco
If you paid a $400.00 tab then regardless of whether you stiffed the waitress you should be welcomed not chased. 400.00 tabs are not a dime a dozen. The owner should have questioned the problem over a glass of wine instead. Send him a copy of my response too.
Remember you get more flies with honey than vinegar, especially if you let everyone know!!

Thanks for the advice, chrose. I will definitely follow up on this when I get to a printer. Maybe I'll send a copy to both NRAs, just to keep my bases covered!

Oh, in all fairness, I realized that I didn't mention that they did eventually (and very grudgingly) knock $7 off the liquor bill. I'll make a point of mentioning it when I start sending out my letters. In terms ill-will generated here certainly was a bargain.

Marye

[ October 09, 2001: Message edited by: MaryeO ]

How bizarre. But it's not totally unexpected with some of the attitudes that some waitstaff have these days.

It reminds me of my bachelor party. Imagine a group of about 12 guys, all wearing ugly Hawaiian shirst and BDU camo combats pants in an Oakland, CA Italian restaurant locally famous for its $1 triple mixed drinks. Once we got seated, we had a real problem getting any attention from the burly waitresses.

One of my friends, the largest in our group, demanded a dollar from each of us. When he had our money, he reached out and grabbed a passing waitress. Just before she started to swing a punch in his direction, he shoved the wad of cash into her other hand and said "This is just an advance on your tip. I want you to know that we're not going to stiff you."

****! After that stunt, we had hot and cold running waitresses, not to mention free wine. I looked around at the other tables and they were having a heck of a time getting any attention from the waitresses. We had them all.

Needless to say, we left a giant tip and felt great about it, because they certainly had earned it!

Pretipping for groups that look like trouble seems to be the way to go.

- Oren

[Anneke]

That reminds me of an episode from Third Rock form the Sun.
Dr. Salomon is trying to understand this strange ritual of tipping wait staff. He decides to come up with a system of his own. He puts a stack of dollar bills on the table upon being seated. He then informs his waitress that this is her 'potential' tip. Everytimes she does something that displeases him, the stack will shrink, and vice versa.

Frankly, I thought that was a brilliant system!

[chefteldanielle]

This reminds me of a valentines dinner we had.. 6 of us all women as well and lousy service.. we left 25 cents and the maitre D' followed us outside with the dessert tray in hand and was running after the car.. Quite hysterical.. Our bill was $400 as well.. I felt pretty badly but our waiter actually screwed up so badly and the food was mediocre at best..

Danielle

I agree go ahead and write the exact letter you wrote here.
Iam sure if they have some sense they will improve their services and attitudes.

[marzipan]

Hmmm... I doubt most of y'all have ever waited tables.

Was it your waitresses fault that the food was slow? No, I doubt she cooked it.

While I agree her surliness was a problem, I still don't think that excuses not leaving a minimal tip.

Remember folks. . . most waiters and waitresses make 1/2 of minimum wage. We live on tips. We are usually required to tip our bussers 10 - 15%, 5% to the bartender, and if there is a runner, 5% to them.

I am not familiar with this restaurant or it's practices, but let's face it, you could run up a $400 bill anywhere... so, on a $400 tab, your waitress was required to tip between 15 - 25% of what you tip her. If you don't tip her, she is still expected to tip out the busser/bartender.

[blanchtoque]

Don't forget that servers also pay 7% of their sales to the IRS weather you tip on that $400.00 or not.

You burned that server pretty badly and shame on you.

Your food was coming up slowly because of your separate check request, you have know idea what that can do to a kitchens timing.

Maybe it's wrong but sometime servers will provide service in proportion to the expected tip it looks like she figured right in this case.

[Ruth]

call the virginia tourists board and the chamber of commerce,and the better biz office.
it is sad that this place has not figured out how servers work.
they are there to serve and not to talk unless spoken to .whatever problems had occured should have been dealt with in a mature manner while kissing you and your friends *** so as not to leave on a sour note. certainly buying the table a round of anything they want to drink while the matter was looked into a little more carefully could have scored big points but they are stupid with no sense of customer relations.AT ALL. i hope you find peace in your wallet and stomach over it all. and by all means spread the word!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[karlaT]

Speaking of tips, I knew that servers pay a flat % weather they make that or not. How is the industry regulated as far as making sure that anything above the 7% is reported and fairly taxed? OUCH! I can feel the heat already from asking this question. Blanchtoque said shame on the group for not leaving the barest minimum 7%. Do servers claim just the 7% and the rest is gravy? She could have made 80+ bucks and claimed the $28. Instead she gets a couple and claims the rest she didn't get from "this particular table". I've tipped on a credit card but what about cash gratuities? So much for opening pandora's box! What about the jars in the deli with tips? Do these servers/workers also claim a %? I suspect not. I may be straying from this forum's forum.

[marzipan]

karla-

I cannot speak for all servers, but I've waited tables for quite a while, and at many different restaurants, and I can tell you what I've found in my experience.

Most of us claim all of our tips. If we claim less than 7% of our sales, the IRS gets awfully suspicious. If we are injured and unable to work, and receiving workers comp, it sure helps if we've claimed all of our tipped income.

Last restaurant I worked in, a cashier handled all the money. Records were kept of cash tips as well as credit card.

At other restaurants I've worked in, the tips are pooled and distributed among the wait staff, after giving a percentage to the bar staff, bussers, and food runners. Complete records are kept in this situation, as well.

I have several friends & former coworkers who have claimed 10 -12 % of their sales who are being audited by the IRS. Yeah, like waiters really make that much money.

Picking up on the issue of seperate checks- when a party of more than 8 request seperate checks (let alone putting alcohol on yet another check!), the extra time it requires to process these checks really adds up! And it is very difficult to get the food all out at once.