Handling a rude or uncaring server?

[Headless Chicken]

I've rarely gone to a place where the service was beyond explination or redemption. I can understand a bit of what the servers go through, I get a lot of disgusting behavior from customers myself so I will try to cut them some slack. But I do have limits, like theres no need to take your frustrations out on someone who hasn't cause you issues. The worst I've gone through was reserving a table at Alice ***illis, waiting 30mins for the table, then finding out it was given away and it would be another 15mins for another table. I just walked out, it was my 18th birthday and I wasn't going to go through that.

[Risque Cakes]

when I have bad service, I tip the minimum because I do NOT know the circumstances that made this a bad day for my server or other staff.

But, I do reward good service with EXCELLENT tips!

I have gone to places like the Cheesecake factory and have left a 20.00 tip on a check for 2.

It's like paying it foward, I made the server happy and they will treat the next service like gold, hoping for more of the same. lol

I'm one of those that believes in POSITIVE reinforcement!!!

[Jayme]

Originally Posted by deltadoc

Quite a few years ago a co-worker friend and I went to a McDonald's for an early lunch. The girl behind the counter was totally rude, obnoxious, and when my friend mentioned he knew the owner, she said something along the lines of "I could care less, if you don't like the service here you don't have to come here".

So we sat down with our food, and the owner saw my friend, and immediately came over to gnosh with us. He actually asked how everything was, and I told him "The server could stand to improve her attitude some!" The owner looked at my friend Brad for confirmation, and Brad just nodded his head and said "It was pretty poor".

We never found out what happened after we left, but I'll never forget the looks on all of the servers behind the counter when they saw the
boss sitting with us!

doc

OMG- he really does KNOW the owner.... not just name dropping to try to get a discount.... LOL LOL

Personally, I am usually quite diplomatic with a bad server- and depending on the situation, I may even politely (but stern enough to get my point across) ask the server during the meal if we are having a problem with ______ (state the issue)? That usually fixes the problem- and the service is usually 100% better and I then be sure to thank the server and tip well. If not, then, like everyone else, I tip accordingly,

[castironchef]

Originally Posted by Jayme

Personally, I am usually quite diplomatic with a bad server- and depending on the situation, I may even politely (but stern enough to get my point across) ask the server during the meal if we are having a problem with ______ (state the issue)? That usually fixes the problem- and the service is usually 100% better and I then be sure to thank the server and tip well. If not, then, like everyone else, I tip accordingly,

Agreed.

A case in point. This weekend, my wife whisked me away to Catalina Island. (Well, she tried to. The airline cancelled our flight out of Oakland after a few hours' delay and we had to drive all night, not getting to Newport Beach until after 3 a.m.!)

After FINALLY getting a chance to have a meal (considering the hassle mentioned above) some 24 hours after my last one, I was dismayed that we were seated at a station next to a party of 20, that was growing. Our waiter did the obligatory "I'll be right with you," but that wore off after 20 minutes without water, menus, etc.

I went to the manager and asked if it was fair for the waiter to have to deal with such a large group and us, too.

The waiter came around soon thereafter and I asked if he could handle us as well as the large (increasingly drunk, loud and obnoxious) party. He assured us that he could and then proceeded to give us GREAT service. Of course, we tipped accordingly.

[DC Sunshine]

CastIron,

I think its a case of a word to the wise at times ...

DC

P.S. Glad you finally got to your surprise location - what a hassle! But cheers for persevering

[SnowfallDesigns]

Recently I took my mom and my two sisters out for my mom's birthday. It was lunchtime on a weekend and the restaurant was not busy. The guy was a completly arrogant d*ck. He made fun of me because I was ordering hot tea in the summer, he asked to take our order after he already had, he asked if we wanted dessert after he had already asked and we said we didn't. It took about 30 minutes between the time we were done eating to the time when we finally got up and told the hostess we needed our check (empty glasses the whole time). She had to find the guy and when he finally gave me the check, he had the gaul to say "you were supposed to pay me at the table". No crap! So I didn't leave him a tip, I've never had a waiter p*ss me off so much! Plus, we had a young child with us...when you have a 1 yr old, and you start putting your purses on the table, I think it means you want to leave!
Sorry! Had to rant!

[shel]

I once had a waitress follow me to my car and demand a bigger tip. The service I got from her was pretty bad and I left her a small tip so she'd know I didn't "forget" to leave a tip.

Another time, under similar circumstances, the waiter actually followed my friend and me into the mens room to demand a larger tip. My recollection is that my friend tossed a $5.00 bill into the urinal.

Shel

[American_Suisse]

I rarely have poor servers...unless I'm in Paris. The few times that it has occured I simply get up from my seat and approach the seating host/ess or maitre d' and inform them that I wish to have a different server. If I am pressed for a reason, I give it in simple and plain. No yelling, no fuss, no big deal. Then I return to my seat. Should the same server appear again I simply inform them that they are no longer needed at this table and to please not return. It's amazing on how the poor service becomes fantastic service when you do that! I keep a little notebook where I write the names of the great servers and the poor ones as well as the resturant. Upon any return to the resturant I simply remind them that I do not want to be seated in that servers area.

[cookie jim]

On a couple of occasions I have given the servers tip to the bus person and telling the manager what and why I did it.
I tell the busperson that he/she is the only one I see who knows what there doing........Cookie

[shortstack]

The first thing I do when I get horrible service is try to make the best of it so it doesn't spoil my meal. I try to keep in mind that I don't know what else is going on and will still tip the minimum...a little more if the server starts to come around in response to me being nice and patient with them. I can only think of a handful of times that I have had such bad service that I left 10% or less...or told the manager. Above all though, I just want to enjoy my meal and find focusing on the bad service just puts me in a bad mood.

[Alisha]

At the Restaurant where i work we really try to make the guest's experiance perfect... their time spent in our restaurant should be the best part of their day, and we do everything in our power to make that happen... If there is a problem with the server, one of the managers on duty will take over the table and they will receive a discount or a like a 10 dollar gift card before they leave. we also have a IOU set-up, we have a To- go section of the restaurant and if something is wrong with an order, the guest can call us and we put their name and what the item was on a list, and the next time they come back, they get that item free. We messed up their order so we owe them it the correct way.

[carlos75]

Originally Posted by Risque Cakes

when I have bad service, I tip the minimum because I do NOT know the circumstances that made this a bad day for my server or other staff.

But, I do reward good service with EXCELLENT tips!

I have gone to places like the Cheesecake factory and have left a 20.00 tip on a check for 2.

It's like paying it foward, I made the server happy and they will treat the next service like gold, hoping for more of the same. lol

I'm one of those that believes in POSITIVE reinforcement!!!

Have to agree with this - this is a great attitude to have.

[RPMcMurphy]

I usually have good experiences but like everyone, have a few bad ones.

I usually just leave less of a tip if its poor and there are no circumstances like it being really crowded and 10 wait staff called out and he/she is REALLY trying (you can just tell), but I'm a big tipper to begin with. if service is good, I'll have no problem tipping 30%, if its bad, 10%.

I frequent a local place quite often, used to at least twice a week last year. Some people I gave 30% to, one guy I gave 50$ to on a 60$ check.... some I gave 10-15%, wait staff talk......after a couple of weeks, I always got good service......(albeit probably something "extra" in my food).

I never really special order food, and never send it back either and I'm far from "pain in the ***" clientèle.

1 time many years ago at Outback steakhouse, (i know i know)....I waited, after asking twice, ~45 minutes for the check before I got up and walked out.

[RunningDuck]

Maybe I'm just lucky in that I tend to get excellent service. I generally attribute my luck to my attitude toward the wait staff - I did that job for almost five years before I moved to the kitchen, I can usually relate to them pretty well.

To me, the most valuable aspect of a waiter is knowledge. If they can recite from memory and without hesitation what herbs my roast duck is going to be roasted in, if they know exactly what goes into the soup, if they can answer any question I have about what I'm ordering, just about anything else is redeemable.

I can tolerate an obviously faked smile, or if they're slow to offer refills on my drinks. But if they can't tell me what I'm going to be eating, all they are is plate carriers.

[deltadoc]

Originally Posted by Nicko

Recently spoke to a good friend who ate at a long time favorite in Chicago. On the way out of the restuarant the server stopped him in the middle of the dinning room (really) and in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear asks "was there a problem with the service?" He said no and the server proceeded to ask "well then why did you leave me so a small tip" (remember this is in the middle of the restaurant and everyone can hear).

They had a scene in one of the Soprano's episodes where the waiter chased outside after Paulie and Christopher. The waiter ended up getting shot to death by Paulie, but it was Christopher who shorted him big time!

doc