Handling a rude or uncaring server?

[firerose0801]

Originally Posted by Risque Cakes

when I have bad service, I tip the minimum because I do NOT know the circumstances that made this a bad day for my server or other staff.

But, I do reward good service with EXCELLENT tips!

I have gone to places like the Cheesecake factory and have left a 20.00 tip on a check for 2.

It's like paying it foward, I made the server happy and they will treat the next service like gold, hoping for more of the same. lol

I'm one of those that believes in POSITIVE reinforcement!!!

I wish more people would have your attitude! It seems much healthier. I honestly don't think I have ever had service so poor that it ruined my night. Sometimes it's annoying, inattentive, but rarely is it a particularly big deal. I always remember a night when I was a waitress that just makes me remember that everyone deserves a little slack. I had just found out that my best friend was in the hospital, I had a truly god-awful migraine, and the manager chose to fire half the staff (both kitchen and wait) five minutes before the shift started and literally no one could fill in. The only other waiter who hadn't been fired showed up so still drunk from the night before and was basically worthless (he went into the basement and passed out until 7:30ish when I kicked him and told him that he HAD to get out there). Usually the restaurant was a little slow on that night of the week, but somehow it managed to be completely full from 5pm-10pm when we closed (it's not a huge restaurant, but there are still about 60 tables). I am usually a fantastic waitress, but I know I was probably really awful that night. Now, I tried to let people know upfront that we were very short staffed and apologize in advance; I tried to smile and be friendly, be attentive, and get to everyone as quickly as humanly possible. However, there is simply no way that I could be up-to-par so to speak. Most people were very gracious and understanding, but there was definately a couple who complained to my manager.

Sorry for the rant, but I always keep that night in mind whenever I encounter bad service and I at least tip 10% (granted I usually tip like 30%, so I know that I am not a great example of normal).

[OregonYeti]

Wow firerose, that's one to remember

But I say, if a server is overextended, and my service suffers for it, I will leave less of a tip. After all, they're getting tips from more tables than they "should" be, imo.

[jennabrown]

To avoid such embarrassing situations I usually go through Boorah restaurant reviews and ratings, where we can know about the behavior of the staff and restaurants atmosphere reviewed by visitors of a particular restaurant.

[Mapiva]

I had a similar thing happen to me when a very rude waitress that could never be found stopped chased us down in the middle of the restaurant and said "Excuuuuuuuuse me, tip is 17%" and looked at me like I was crazy. I can't bring myself to leave nothing, so I left a couple of dollars on a $50 check. I told her that I tipped according to the service we were provided. I walked over to the manager and apologized for the lack of generous tip but that our dining experience was not as good as we wish it had been due to x y and z reasons.

When I was a waitress there were a few things that I did that earned me higher tips.
1.If I was too busy to get to a table I would drop by and tell them that I would be with them as soon as I can. People will understand if you're swamped as long as you acknowledge them.
2. Don't patronize people "sure sweetie, anything you want, I can do that for you, right away."
3. Keep your eyes on all your tables all the time. Instead of pestering my guests by continuously asking them how everything is, walk by, look, and if they need something they will stop you. You don't need to be in their face, you just need to be available.
4. Smile, and look at people when they are talking to you.

What I hated most was that I did not get to keep the tips I earned. We had to pool the money meaning the person next to me who was making less tips and working a lot less than me walked away with the same amount as I did at the end of the night.

[Mapiva]

Forgot to say, in Europe service is a completely different issue. For all those Americans out there visiting european countries beware that 15-18% gratuity is added to your check automatically. Some choose to leave an extra euro or so if the service was exceptional but it's not expected. Can't say it does wonders for the level of service though.

They will try to scam you if you ask "how does gratuity work here?" and tell you to leave a tip in many cases.

[OregonYeti]

A very good tutorial on customer service:

YouTube - Seinfeld-Soup **** (best bits)

[chubyalaskagriz]

received poor service. But when I have, I'm not into confrontations, so it's reflected in the tip. If it's REALLY bad, I've been known to write a letter.

[oleglipkin]

Report it to the restaurant. You desserve to be served correctly, and also it is a disservice not to inform the managers, their future clients could suffer and go away.

[collegekid19]

I generally like to go with the "kill them with kindness approach" just so they don't go with the "kill me with salmonella" approach. Sometimes after the meal is over, a stern talking to is called for

[CTKitchenCoop]

I tend to tip generously, but disagree with my husband about tipping on the tax. (He doesn't) What's the feeling on this?

[KYHeirloomer]

Of all the issues surrounding the tipping question that's the one I can least relate to.

Let's take these givens: tax rate is 6%. You normally tip 20%. Food & drink part of the bill is $100.

Nice and simple so we can all do the math.

Tip on f&b only: $20.
Tip on total: 21.20

I have two questions about this.

1. Does anyone really quibble over that difference?

2. How many people actually figure the precise percentage? I believe most people would look at a bill for $106, do some quick mental arithmatic, and drop a double sawbuck on the table. It works the other way, too. Let's say the f&b portion was 94 bucks. The total on that would be $99.40. And again, most people would merely drop a twenty.

[Dillbert]

...Does anyone really quibble over that difference?

Q: to which "anyone" is the quibble addressed? on the tipee or the tiper side?

......The total on that would be $99.40. And again, most people would merely drop a twenty.

which is the origin of Trinkgeld (Ger.) et.al.

where custom establishes all taxes and gratuities are included, "rounding up" generated a bit extra.
there were days when "the bill" was simply a blitz of numbers on a small scratch pad your waiter tallied up tableside.... the odd pennies often being politely rounded up by the patron - the essence of: "keep the change"

see also: tick marks on your beer coaster . . . .

[MikeLM]

My wife spent twelve years in the biz (head of admin for a suburban Chicago chain of family restaurants- not in production) and just heard all the time from the owners and managers that any complaint about a restaurant was relayed to ALL the patron's friends and acquaintances - as well as a vow never to return.

OK food and service usually didn't get mentioned.

Tough business.

Mike

I had an absolutely lousy breakfast at a Denny's while travelling through Garberville, CA in 1967. (See how it's burned into my memory! Actually, it was in August of 1967.) Didn't go into a Denny's for thirty years, and then only because my son insisted on hitting one by his office in Houston on the way to work,. Wasn't bad, so we went back to that one a couple times.

Mike

[Just Jim]

Wow, Garberville.
In '67.
I'm sure all of the cooks were stoned.
Waitstaff too for that matter.

Denny's has gone way downhill, not that they were anywhere near the top to begin with, but they are certainly dives now.

[DocSmith]

I have a little different perspective as I and my wife were servers for one of those major chain bistros for a couple of years. Yes, we had to wear 'flare' so if you don't know which one you need to watch Office Space. As such we do tip 20% and work our way down for bad service, but it depends on WHY the service is bad.

You can tell 'clueless' from 'apathetic' from 'arsehole' pretty quick.

Clueless doesn't bother me much because odds are they are still learning or just stupid in general. The second most common bad service we have run into has been of the clueless variety. Its really pretty funny because while we may not have been servers for going on 15 years now, we still know why they are floundering and what their mistakes are as they make them. We had one very memorable poor server at our local favorite establishment because of the clueless server. The guy was maybe 24, about 6'3, and blond so he was easy to follow around as he worked. Our table had a view of the kitchen through the big glass partitions on a packed Saturday night. He of course completely screwed up our table and apparently every other table he had. We would watch has the managers would talk to him, the cooks, other servers and he had that look of beyond in the weeds the entire time. We actually gave him a 15% tip because we felt sorry for him as he was doing his best, even if his best was awful. We never saw him there again.

Apathetic is the norm for 'bad service'. You can tell them pretty quick on how they act when they take your drink order. These are the type where if male you will see them spend more time hitting on the female wait staff than paying attention to their tables. Usually the service is just adequate, not poor but just enough to not have major complaints, odds are we tip this kind a bit too high.

Arseholes are pretty rare and those are the only ones where we do the .01 tip or complain. I can't recall the last time, and I doubt these people last in the business long enough to really run into a lot of them.

As a waiter I screwed up a few times, one I even feel really bad about still today (forgot a birthday), but things do happen. Over all being a waiter is not a difficult job but it does require good multitasking skills to really pull it off. Most quality people will not be life long professional waiters, so yes this is a part time job while we are in school for other things. Some of the posts in this thread seem to imply that it makes the sever somehow less important because of this, but really who wants to be a sever their entire life? I've always said everyone should work at least 6 months on tips alone, it will greatly improve peoples attitude to others.