The Best of The Worst

[Jim]

35. Here are some extra grounds in your coffee, just in case you need a little extra 'texture' to wash it down! Nothing like being able to chew your brew!

[deltadoc]

36. But we have to pay state tax on the value of the meal, not the price you pay.

37. I'll have to ask the chef first before I can return your steak.

38. I went to the trouble to remove the charge for that dessert that you didn't order.

39. I'm sorry that I dripped the shrimp cocktail ice water into your salad.

40. It's so nice to see you back. Would you like the same table again sir? (The "table" being the one by the aisle to the bathroom, and right next to the server's pickup window)

41. Being given the second worse seat in the house under the air conditioner when answering no to #40 above, and being told "Now this is a better table!"

42. I know you were in yesterday, that I checked your ID and you're 56, but we have to check the ID of every customer who orders wine.

43. I'm sorry I didn't bring you any silverware and your appetizer is cold now, but you still have to pay for it.

44. I'm sorry sir that I still didn't bring you any silverware for your entree, but you still have to pay for it.

45. I'm sorry I spilled wine on your leather jacket. Please give me your napkin and let me dip it into your ice water and I'll rub the spot on your jacket.

46. The chef wants to know if it's ok to butterfly your steak? You did too order it medium well! (even though 6 people at the table heard me say medium rare).

47. I'm sorry there's a piece of dried food on your fork, but it does get sterilized going through the dishwasher.

48. Why can't you use your fork that you ate your steak with for your dessert?

49. The chef says your shrimp cocktail is perfect.

50. It's not our fault there was a piece of bone shaving in your vegetable soup. You should eat more carefully!

doc

[kuan]

Yeah, for some reason that silverware thing bugs me. Is it too much to take the salad fork and bring a new one with an entree?

[Peachcreek]

51. Don't forget to bring one unappropriate guest. Nothing balances out a fine meal more the the enlightened counterpoint opinion of someone who is uncomfortable dining on "boughten" food. Or my teenage son who would rather be home with a pizza and GameBoy than having to be stuck with grownups and eating whatever..... Or perhaps inviting a "table manners" freak, or a pseudo-winesnob, or a wannbe food critic. Or a newby cooking school grad who wants to anylyze everything. Fun, fun, fun.

[Someday]

Originally Posted by deltadoc

40. It's so nice to see you back. Would you like the same table again sir? (The "table" being the one by the aisle to the bathroom, and right next to the server's pickup window)

41. Being given the second worse seat in the house under the air conditioner when answering no to #40 above, and being told "Now this is a better table!"

42. I know you were in yesterday, that I checked your ID and you're 56, but we have to check the ID of every customer who orders wine.

44. I'm sorry sir that I still didn't bring you any silverware for your entree, but you still have to pay for it.

45. I'm sorry I spilled wine on your leather jacket. Please give me your napkin and let me dip it into your ice water and I'll rub the spot on your jacket.

47. I'm sorry there's a piece of dried food on your fork, but it does get sterilized going through the dishwasher.

48. Why can't you use your fork that you ate your steak with for your dessert?

doc

I want to say that as a former server for 6 years, a lot of this thread offends me.

Yeah, I'll admit, a TONS of servers are idiots (I was blessed for the last 2 years to work in a really great place with a great service staff), but for every idiot server there are 10 idiot guests.

You guys have to understand that a LOT goes into waiting tables at some places. Fact of eating out: Sometimes silver ware on the table will be dirty. There are THOUSANDS of f-n forks in the house...not all of them can be combed over every day. It's gonna happen. Sorry it happened to you.

Jim--having the food auctioned off RUINS the meal for you? Really? I'm sorry, but I considered myself a d a m n good server, but sometimes I had 6 things to do and forgot which seat number the salmon or whatever went to at a 5 top. If I just guessed, and gave YOU the prime rib instead of the salmon, then you'd be in here complaining that the stupid server set down the prime rib in front of you instead of the salmon (why didn't he just ask?)

And sometimes coffee filters break and coffee grinds get in the coffee. Next time I'll take a sip of your coffee first to make sure that it's ok before I serve it to you. I have a hard time believing this could ruin a meal for you. Just wait 3 mins for a new pot of coffee...and at least now you know it's fresh.

I used to be really good about marking the table with silver as well. But guess what? Sometimes I forgot. Maybe I didn't have time because your table came up fast and I had to go re-seat my other table cause they were under the AC vent (it's a restaurant bring a f-n jacket, just like to the movie theater for crying out loud).

DeltaDoc--at least a place made an effort to remember you and give you the same table. Some people really like tables right next to the "action." Some poeple don't. The comp says you sat there last time--are they mind readers? Just politely decline. An AC vent? You gotta be kidding me. OH, you have RUINED my dining experience by moving me from the table I didn't want originally to another table I don't want! Whats the place supposed to do? NOT have AC? Then they'd ruin your dining experience because the dining room is too hot...

Checking your ID? Do you know what the penalties are for serving an underage drinker? Thousands of dollars in fines and the restaurant will probably lose their liquor liscense and go out of business. And where I live, EVERY LAST PERSON has to show there ID because of the weird liquor laws--and then they have to sign a piece of paper. Thats every person. 25 yrs old to 100 yrs old. And sorry for the 10 second inconvenience of reaching into your wallet--hope I didn't ruin your day. Maybe your cursed with looking young, I don't know, but I would ALWAYS err on the side of caution.

Sorry you got wine spilled on your jacket (really, that sucks). But again, if you wait tables long enough, deliver enough glasses of wine, you WILL spill something on someone at some point (if you eat out a lot, same thing). What should the server do then? You tell me so that I know how to handle it. Instead of at least trying to clean the mess up, I'll go get some "soda water" and a pile of napkins and let you do it. Or just stand there and do nothing.

Some of the stuff is not good and shouldn't happen. Some of the stuff you guys posted is absolutely unaccpetable and should never happen.

32. A waitress that comes back every minute to see if you need anything and refill an already full cup a joe.

I'm gonna guess that the server wanted you to leave. I'm not sure, and I'm not trying to jump to conclusions, but maybe you were there for a while, or after close, and that was the "polite" way the server was asking you to GTFO.

A lot of people, for whatever reason, feel entitled to sit at there table for a LOOOOONG time. (not talking about you, Cakerookie) We call them "campers." I never minded when people stayed a few extra minutes...but hey, longer than 30 (or way after close) is just plain rude. Remember this--we depend on tips for our income. The reality is, when you camp at our tables for a long time, you are taking our money. Or at least potential money. It's no fun, from our perspective, when a deuce sits for 3 hours after leaving you a 8 dollar tip. Potentially, I could have made another 20 dollars (or more) from that table.

Rant over.

[Mezzaluna]

Someday, I'm sorry if you feel offended. I have worked both in the kitchen and waiting tables, so I have a sense of reality for both jobs.

You properly note that there are two sides of every situation. Still, some of what's mentioned here just shouldn't be encountered by diners.

[Jim]

Jim--having the food auctioned off RUINS the meal for you? Really? I'm sorry, but I considered myself a d a m n good server, but sometimes I had 6 things to do and forgot which seat number the salmon or whatever went to at a 5 top. If I just guessed, and gave YOU the prime rib instead of the salmon, then you'd be in here complaining that the stupid server set down the prime rib in front of you instead of the salmon (why didn't he just ask?)

And sometimes coffee filters break and coffee grinds get in the coffee. Next time I'll take a sip of your coffee first to make sure that it's ok before I serve it to you. I have a hard time believing this could ruin a

Someday.... you need a good dose of perspective! Yes, auctioning off food is terrible customer service! It shows a lack of attention to detail and novice service. I don't expect a car mechanic to 'guess' which item needs to be fixed nor do I expect a plumber to randomly install pipes, not knowing his/her job!

As for the coffee... you don't need to take a sip of my coffee. You need to pay attention. That's the job... it's called attention to DETAILS! Do the job!

Lastly, nobody said there aren't idiot customers... idiot cooks... idiot owners. As a matter of fact, NOBODY said waitstaff were idiots. We were merely discussing issues that ruin a (money paying) dining experience. If that offends you, then... well, don't read it. Perhaps, some folks after reading this, will re-think their approach to customer service... and actually learn something. This isn't an ego-massaging session.

[deltadoc]

Originally Posted by Someday

I want to say that as a former server for 6 years, a lot of this thread offends me.


DeltaDoc--at least a place made an effort to remember you and give you the same table. Some people really like tables right next to the "action." Some poeple don't. The comp says you sat there last time--are they mind readers? Just politely decline. An AC vent? You gotta be kidding me. OH, you have RUINED my dining experience by moving me from the table I didn't want originally to another table I don't want! Whats the place supposed to do? NOT have AC? Then they'd ruin your dining experience because the dining room is too hot...

Uh....kind ex-server, the air conditioner was a window unit that was so low that there was no head room to sit under except that my wife is only 5' tall, and her head just barely missed touching the big jutting out air conditioner.

doc

[Jim]

51. "Fresh...." We want to make everybody certain that our food is fresh, as opposed to rancid, old or moldy. Chicken Cutlets sauteed with fresh mushrooms. Fresh Atlantic Salmon! Really? Perhaps the 2-week old stuff in the back of the cooler might be better?

[robinchev]

Originally Posted by Jim

51. "Fresh...." We want to make everybody certain that our food is fresh, as opposed to rancid, old or moldy. Chicken Cutlets sauteed with fresh mushrooms. Fresh Atlantic Salmon! Really? Perhaps the 2-week old stuff in the back of the cooler might be better?

OMG!!! Thank you sooooooo much!!! After a **** week on the job (yah, we all have'em) I laughed until I was crying!
Bravo!

[Cheech]

52. Yes, please sit in the empty seat at my table to take my order.

[Mezzaluna]

53. "Are we ready to order?" and other instances of the server including him/herself as part of the dining party.

[panini]

I did not want to ever respond to someday for she was from my new home state. Am I just old? When I waited tables, we took an order with the hands of a clock in mind. women 1,3,5,oclock men 2.4.6etc. No? I have to believe this was the first thing I learned.
Never mind a broken coffee filter. If my tables ordered coffee to end their meal, I made sure is was hot and fresh.
This is long and probably not worth it but true!
Went out last night, not a bad fish place. Nice, quiet. Back waiter welcomes us, 6 top, pours water, offers lemon from a little silver thing, helps with napkins, takes our drink orders. I'm happy now for this was my suggestion since they had requested my dessert line to look at next week.
We took some friends. our waiter shows up, very clean cut(looked like an olympic swimmer) He starts his greating, I'm looking down at the menu, he has the hardest time trying to speak. I'm thinking to myself," oh man, he has a problem and that's why he's not on TV or a doctor or something. I'm gonna take care of this guy tonight"
I look up and this guy is trying to talk to us with this large silver ball attached to his tongue. Needless to say I was cool, but when it came around to me to order I said I would have loved one of the chefs specials but I did not understand a single word you said. After Sophie kicked me, he smiled and said something like ,this is new.

[blueschef]

Panini!
Excouse Mwe The Swamon is Berry Gwood Wif Thwe Oserse Wadish Cwust!


Your story cracked me up!

LOL

[chrose]

BC I started this page from the bottom and read your post first which of course made no sense. As I worked my way from the top down to find out why Pan was making a comment about Someday, I finally finished Pans post and understood what you were trying to say! Not what you said, it was unintelligible! Too, too funny
"Someday" with all due respect, perhaps your post is an indication to why you call yourself a "former" server. Seriously, way too serious, you are taking things said in this thread wayyy too personally, unless they all happened to you in which case maybe that line of work wasn't for you. Remember I'm not jumping on you here, just making an observation of an overly sensitive sounding post.