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#1
01-14-2006, 07:30 AM
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 The Best of The Worst The 101 Ways to Have a Miserable Dining Experience by the contributors of ChefTalk.com 1. Be sure to 'auction off' food. Who gets the prime rib? And the salmon? Who ordered the salmon? 2. "Do you need change?" assuming that ALL that money is for my wonderful service. ...who's got #3... 4... 5...
__________________ Invention, my dear friends, is ninety-three percent perspiration, six percent electricity, four percent evaporation, and two percent butterscotch ripple      |
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#2
01-14-2006, 08:13 AM
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| 3. "Are you done with that?" (Or would you like to continue clogging up one of the tables I'm trying so desperately to turn, like the cretinous insect you so clearly are?) 4. "Hi, my name is LikeICouldPossiblyCare, and I'm going to be your server tonight." (Just in case you wondered why I'm standing here handing you menus.) |
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#3
01-14-2006, 10:06 AM
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| 5. Always treat your guests based upon your perception of how rich and/or important they are. Only the worthy ones should get good service and you're the judge! |
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#4
01-14-2006, 11:57 AM
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| 6. Be sure to turn your back on me and hit on my partner... 7.Ensure I will empathize with your lousy day by telling me in lengthy detail how sick you feel, how badly the kitchen is doing, how shortstaffed you are because management s***s,etc etc etc...
__________________ "I gotta start being nicer to people... this karma thing really sucks..." |
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#5
01-14-2006, 12:09 PM
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 8. "Are you still working on that?" As if eating the food in that place should be a tedious experience.... 9. Leaning your arms on the table and finding stickiness. 
__________________ Moderator, Welcome Forum ***It is better to ask forgiveness than beg permission.*** |
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#6
01-14-2006, 02:35 PM
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| True story... from an hour ago! 10. "I'll be right with you... I have to finish sending this text message to my boyfriend."
__________________ Invention, my dear friends, is ninety-three percent perspiration, six percent electricity, four percent evaporation, and two percent butterscotch ripple |
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#7
01-15-2006, 07:40 AM
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| 11. After dining for about an hour and a half and spent over $200 in food and wine. "Excuse me would mind leaving we have a lot of people waiting for tables."
__________________ Nicko __________________________________________________ ChefTalk.Com A food lover's link to the professional chefs http://www.cheftalk.com Cooking Articles ~ Chef Recipes ~ Cookbook Reviews ~ Cooking Forums __________________________________________________ |
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#8
01-15-2006, 08:30 AM
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| 12- shoes, you must look at there shoes! I've known waiters who judge the amount of service given purely upon whats on their guests feet. |
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#9
01-16-2006, 10:06 AM
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| 13 - Enusre guest wait at least 20 minutes for their bill after having asked for it!
__________________  Chef Bob"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch?" ~ Orsen Wells (1915-1985) http://www.frappr.com/cheftalkcafe |
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#10
01-16-2006, 01:13 PM
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 14- When the bill total is always given with tax included, so you end up tipping based on the total PLUS tax.  I'm never hestant to tip well (I waited tables in another life), but I resent being expected to tip that way.
__________________ Moderator, Welcome Forum ***It is better to ask forgiveness than beg permission.*** |
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#11
01-16-2006, 06:14 PM
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| 13a) Ensure an additional wait of at least the same 20 minutes before returning with my credit card, change...
__________________ "I gotta start being nicer to people... this karma thing really sucks..." |
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#12
01-16-2006, 08:58 PM
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| 15 - Be sure to wait until your patrons' tongues are swollen and parched before coming into view and asking if they would like their water/drinks refilled. |
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#13
01-17-2006, 03:39 AM
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| 16. "Hi, what can I get for YOUS?"
__________________ Invention, my dear friends, is ninety-three percent perspiration, six percent electricity, four percent evaporation, and two percent butterscotch ripple |
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#15
01-17-2006, 01:26 PM
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| 18. Make sure your server waits at least 20 minutes after ordering before informing you that they are out of your entree.
__________________ What a relief! To find out after all these years that I'm not crazy. I'm just culinarily divergent... |
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