First signs of a bad dining experience...

[n00bchef]

First off, let me say that I am by no means a snob... I almost never get to frequent those fancy/expensive (TV reviewed) places... I often find myself a patron of local deli's and restaurants, and of course throw into the mix some of the "Franchise" restaurants.

The fact is that regardless of the "class" of restaurant, there are tell-tale signs in every restaurant that will either leave you with a good feeling about your upcoming dining experience, or make you decide that a stiff drink at the bar and the trip home would be better served.

I live in a community in the East Bay Area, California and in my town we have quite a large variety of restaurants. (We are even getting a Trader Vic's in a couple months). Of all of these restaurants, some of the things I ALWAYS look for when walking in are the following: (please feel free to add to this list!)

1) The Hostess - The first representative of the restaurant you see. The body language, attitude, and demeanor of this person leaves you with an immediate impression of what the mood of every other employee is. Even though your encounter with the Hostess is brief, the impact is lasting.

I can't tell you how many times I walk into a restaurant and see a teenaged girl or boy who is more interested in chatting with fellow employees over making me feel welcome to the establishment. Often times they will wrap up their conversation, grab a couple of menus, and start walking (assuming you will follow)... Occasionally they will mumble the required "Welcome to <restaurant>"... In many cases (without even looking you in the eye), they will take you to a table, put the menus down, and utter the "Your server will be right with you" line. (Which really means I am leaving you here so I can go back to the front and continue my conversation.)

While nothing here is overly "offensive"... Without even looking at the menu, I immediatly feel like I am second class.

2) The Waiter/Waitress - Your tour guide and interface to everything about the restaurant. There are so many places to go here, I have trouble finding where to start. Here is a list of things that in my opinion detract from a good experience:

- Not appearing within 2 minutes of being seated is often annoying... As soon as I sit down and get comfortable, one of the first things I like to do is get something refreshing to drink... (Water, beer, wine...) Having to wait more than two minutes gets my foot tapping...
- Inconsistent service... There are many times while in a restaurant (usually in the Franchise restaurants), that I will notice a Waiter/Waitress visit another table 2-3 times before revisiting mine. When I notice this happening, it is usually because I would like their attention (perhaps for a refill of my beverage)... Waiters/Waitresses who are experienced know how to develope a routine for table management, and they shine like a star when they do it.
- Getting the check in the middle of your meal. This doesn't happen often, but in my opinion this is somewhat of a rude gesture. It implies to me that they would like me to hurry up and leave, and secondly that they aren't interested as to whether I wanted something else with my meal. Some servers view this as a way of "saving some time" but in most cases this is viewed as "being pushy".

There are MANY more items I could come up with, but let's move on.

3) The Floor/Shift Manager - The one who is supposed to make or break your experience. The shift manager could be considered the "Sous Chef" of the dining area... He/She ensures that food is being served, tables are being waited and cleaned, and also ensures that the customers experience is a pleasant one. This being the case, one should be able to breath a sigh of relief when they see the Floor Manager approach their table. Here are some pet peeves of mine about Floor Managers:

- Checking in with guests with Waiter/Waitress along side. I would guess that most people (not all) don't enjoy confrontation in a restaurant, and in many cases get too embarrest to raise an issue if bad service is in play. The Floor Manager is supposed to make the guest feel comfortable enough to share that and it is then the manager's job to make sure that it gets set right. When the Waiter/Waitress accompanies the manager to the table, it is often intimidating and ultimatly unproductive because the guests will not give the true feedback to the manager if it has to do with the service.
- Invisible Floor Manager. I know they are out there... but seem to either be unavailable the entire time, or are avoiding a large portion of their duty.

I suppose I could go on about things to look for... (maybe I could even write a book on this), but the point is watch out! It is easy to spot a "soon to be" bad dining experience, and you can avoid this simply by observing the hostess.

Why did I write this? Because I saw a few other opinions regarding Franchise restaurants, and those discussions reminded me of a very bad experience I had at a "Johnny Carino's"...

Hostess did all the bad stuff mentioned above, I saw the waitress a total of five times, one to take my order and drink order, the second to deliver those items (at the same time), third to complain about the hair I had found in my seafood pasta, and fourth was in the company of the Floor Manager who apologized and brought me a new one, and then I never saw him again. The fifth and last time I saw the waitress was to give me the bill. (which wasn't adjusted at ALL for the dish with a hair in it.) --- Think I will ever go there again?

-Jason

[KAYLINDA]

Good post...and so true! Sometimes you just get the feeling people don't care whether you're there or not.

[diane]

....a good idea to give it a couple of months and revisit. Places DO pick themselves up, they Do get newer personal. The places I wont go to are those with a menu out front of the building, yellowed by age, curling with condensation, dead flies garnishing the glass fronted cage, down there with the 'specialty' deserts and liquor coffee. Apart from anything else, I have to ask myself, how on earth do they get in there. The flies I mean.

[n00bchef]

Thanks for the feedback, I have seriously considered writing a book on this... I can't tell you how many times I see restaurants that have teeny bopper hostesses... It seems like a Restaurant manager tends to not give the Hostess position a second thought.

I will say that I have seen some Franchises use a good hostess strategy, one in particular is the "Claim Jumper" chain of restaurants... The hostess position is really a team of 2-3 hostesses all of whom always smile and interface with the customers (even in the waiting area). I distinctly remember being pleased as soon as I walked into that restaurant.

Anyhow, I do agree with Diane, I will sometimes revisit a restaurant that didn't treat me as I expected... (unless of course the experience was absolutly horrible).

The ideas for this book include what I mentioned in my original post, but also so much more. I think that a book about this stuff from a customers point of view (as well as someone who loves culinary arts) would be a unique perspective. I'm sure that other books similar to this idea have been written, but my head is so full of ideas... (I also have recipricol ideas about the tell-tale signs of a good restaurant...)

[DaPanMan]

I live in a small city that has recently blown up with sushi restaurants. There are only a few that have been here 10 or more years, but within the last year and a half 7 or more have opened. As a professional cook I rarely get a chance to get out to eat in the evening (have been trying to as of late), so when I get the chance I REALLY hate to be disappointed.

I recently went to sushi at more neighborhoody place. From one previous experience I wasn't expecting much but there weren't any other sushi places open on a Sunday evening and...ok a gal that works there was my main intrest in going there anyway (so partly my fault). I sat down right in front of her (she rolls there). The waitress (who I knew from previously working with at another restaurant) was my server and I ordered a chimay which they had on draft. After she walked away the exec chef leans over the bar to tell me that he might not have enough rice for me by the time he gets through all his other orders. SO Im already bummed. The waitress shortly later came to ask what i needed and I informed her ....? about the rice shortage. I ended up ordering a poki and some edamame with the intention of ordering more if there was rice left. The waitress said something to the effect of "Surely you understand, I mean, don't you run out of beef cheeks (popular menu item from the place I work) every once in a while?", and I said "Well no we actually don't" and I'm thinking to myself that the cheeks are only one menu item versus something like rice in a sushi restaurant which is a catalyst for half the menu...Its like me not having enough plates to put food on. Long story short I left hungry, disappointed , and with no phone # from the cute girl I wanted to talk to in the first place. Too bad.

[castironchef]

No rice? No nookie?

No return!

[diane]

That is funny Pan Man. I had a cricket in my mushroom sauce once. I gave it back to the waiter, who told me not to fuss. But I couldn't, just couldn't eat that meal.

[DaPanMan]

OOOOOH BUT WHAT THE F YALL of course i wont go there to drop dough on weak sushi for big $...funny thing is i read a great review on the place right after i had a crappy experience there ..... dunno if they deserve it or not......

[AprilB]

only applied to Chinese ...



April

[MikeLM]

Just saw this thread - looking for a place to report a really poor dining experience - and am reminded of a rule of thumb by the operating partner in a chain of 20-odd Sizzler family restaurants, where my wife was head of administrative operations.

He said the first thing he looked at was how clean the glass was - doors, sneeze guards, booth dividers, whatever. If they weren't sparkling clean, he would assume they weren't particular about other things (like service and food ) either.

With five couples, I went to the Wolf's Head Inn on Joliet Road in Indian Head Park (IL) for their Sunday brunch- one couple said they liked it a lot. We ordered Bloody Mary's and the celery stick in mine had started to decay- it was light brown and squishy at the top.

I should have taken the hint.

The buffet had only a few items, every one of them EXTREMELY mediocre. We paid the bill - which included a 20% gratuity, and walked out. Four couples had left, when the manager came out into the parking lot and told the fifth that we owed another $6 per couple for coffee. Showing less fortitude than I would have expected of him, he forked over the additional $30.

So, now I gotta pay him another $6.

My wife and I didn't have coffee.

How soon will I be back the the Wolf's Head Inn???

Mike

[lyneotto]

Diane
a cricket, or a roach?
Not to fuss? Call the Health Dept!

[lentil]

We just returned from a nice dinner on a deck on a river. The menu was nice, the atmosphere was welcoming, the food was very good, and the service was fine UNTIL the waitress called me "my dear" as in "would you like another cocktail, my dear?" I gave her a withering glance and said "yes, please".


Later in the meal when she returned to pick up the plates, I started to say something and answered me by calling me "my darling". My husband gave me one of those oh oh looks because he knows my pet peeve is being called some diminutive pet name by someone I've never met before. What is it with servers that they think calling you hon, dear, or some other name usually reserved for babies or people in nursing homes will get them a better tip? One would think that after the first glare they receive from a customer, that they would get the hint and use sir or ma'am...or nothing at all which is preferable to a pet name. I paid the bill and left a 10% tip to the penny.

On the way out, I asked to speak to the manager and explained that everything was wonderful from the moment we walked in the door until we left except for the fact that the server wasn't professional enough not to use baby names.

Am I the only one who is bothered by this condescendingly fake "friendliness"? These people are not my pals, they are my servers and I tip very well when the relationship is professional one between a server and a client.

My produce guy called me "young lady" until I told him it was 2006, I was at least his age, and I started every conversation with "Hi,this is Susan from....", He asked what he should call me. I reiterated that I started every conversation with "hi, this is susan....." What a bozo.

[diane]

LOL, it never stops does it. They call you dear because you are young, they call you dear because you are a white haired woman. They call you dear because you are visibly pregnant. "They" never call a man 'dear'.

It is my opinion that this word, among others, is the most offensive form of address Possible. It is right up there with the 'N' word. Determinedly offensive. Foul denigration. Loathsome little power plays. Utterly disgraceful vernacular. Showing a paucity of vocabulary, wit, but mostly, manners. My husband does not call me dear, he knows better.

I will react with extreme vigour to this, and associated terms, no matter how public or potentially upsetting this is to others. My family are used to me, but it can give fright to others.

The only person on this planet who can call me dear, is Billy. Because I believe him. So there. giggle. (and a few others of course.)

[lentil]

Originally Posted by diane

LOL, it never stops does it. They call you dear because you are young, they call you dear because you are a white haired woman. They call you dear because you are visibly pregnant. "They" never call a man 'dear'.

No,Diane, they have other terms of endearment for men. A waitress in a local, upscale Italian rest called my husband "Hon". She actually called everyone hon, but one night, she said something like, "Would you like another scotch, Hon?" and i looked at him and said, "I hadn't realized you and she were so close." My husband looked a little shocked and the waitress scurried away. She has never called us hon since, and I have found that she's a very good server and compansate her accordingly. Of course, she probably sees us coming and says, "Here comes that miserable biotch."

At another restaurant where we had gone to celebrate my DD's new job, the waitress took all of our orders and looked at my 14 and a half year old son, and said, "And what would the little guy like?" I smiled sweetly and said,"You should be VERY glad he's not responsible for the tip." She was much more respectful of him throughout the rest of our meal.

What gives with this type of service? Do they actually think we find it endearing? I find it nauseating.

[BigGrizzly]

Originally Posted by lentil

.What gives with this type of service? Do they actually think we find it endearing? I find it nauseating.

I believe that these "Nauseating" servers are just trying to be friendly and hospitable. Some individuals are raised in an environment where certain terms of endearment are regularly used. To make the statement that you become physically ill could mean that you may have some past issues that you need to deal with.