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Handling a rude or uncaring server? - Page 3

post #61 of 73
I would leave a handwritten note on the table folded in half Saying TIP and when the server unfolds it it would say "get into another business"'.:D
post #62 of 73
Poor service is so widespread, Ed, that for years I've mock-seriously threatened to have little RSVP type cards and envelopes printed. The envelope would say "A Tip For You." The card would say either, "change your attitude," or "get another job."

When I first read Nicko's original post I thought we really had different senses of humor. Not only do I not find anything funny in the situation, if I were the GM that server would be looking for a new job at shift's end. There is no excuse for that sort of behavior on the part of a server. Ever!

I used to wait tables for a living. If my legs would let me, I'd be doing it still---it's the second easiest way to make money short of actually stealing it that I know of. But you have to provide real service to make real money---something many servers fail to realize nowadays. Somebody who starts the shift thinking they're entitled to a tip should be thankful if they get any. Tips have to be earned. And you don't do that by being rude or surely; or by mixing up orders; or by not providing what the customer wants.
They have taken the oath of the brother in blood, in leavened bread and salt. Rudyard Kipling
They have taken the oath of the brother in blood, in leavened bread and salt. Rudyard Kipling
post #63 of 73
I agree, I am happy when I can go into a place and the server even speaks english. In one respect I have to blame the management, I have been in many places that hire that day right before the shift. Like throwing in the water and saying swim. 4 parties suffer because of this. The customer,The restaurant, The server and The kitchen. The way I see it in 5 to 10 years robots will be serving us anyway. I hope they can be programed a little better.
post #64 of 73
Depends on the restaurant! haha, I'd rather some of the places in my town NOT speak english!

Ed, google around for the Monkey waiters in Japan!

Lately, I find that eating at the bar/bar menu is a much better experience. Better menus or the same menu...and I find that bartenders over wait staff is more attentive and....well overall, friendly and seem to enjoy their jobs more. (granted this is only for restaurants that lean towards the higher end of the spectrum)
post #65 of 73
One day out od desperation I went into a Wendys and ordered a burger and a shake. The person behind the counter looked at me and said 'we dont have shakes' I said ok a coke then. I received my order and saw what I thought a manager and asked did you run out of shake mix? "" She said no"" then she said"" She doubted if the person behind the counter knew that a frostee was a shake"""????????? Asside from that I could hardly understand the person behind the counter.. Only in America. :eek: :crazy:

The monkees probably speak english better.
post #66 of 73
No no, person across the counter was right. A Frosty is not a shake. Not even close. :D
post #67 of 73
I believe I've posted my opinions on this before but I'll do it again just cos...
Before I started cooking I've held waiting and delivery driver know, the ones where I make money on tips. I'm not going to say I was a perfect angel and never messed up with my job but jobs have the same downsides. Long waits really kill your tips and that is NEVER you fault. It's always the kitchens or the pizza shop. For instance when i delivered pizza it would absolutely annoy the crap out of me when a customer would be like "oh, isn't it 30 mins or less?" ...(man that 80's marketing worked like a charm right?)...and then I'd have to apologize and be nice usually to get a paltry dollar or nothing at beat the crap out of my vehicle and drive food to THEIR amusing! What the customer didn't know was that I was helping inside, taking orders, making their order and dropping off 3 or 4 other deliveries on my run and not just theirs..but go figure.
Fact is, when it's busy in a restaurant or delivery shop you're always working your butt off. You have no choice..just like when the line is filled with tickets and you have to fill 40 work, and do it fast...
the servers do that too. I find it unacceptable to not leave a tip. When you go out to eat it is of convenience now

It used to be ppl went out to eat because it was a special occasion or they had the ppl just do it because they are too lazy to cook or don't know how. People eat out so much that the fresh foods sections at grocery stores are getting smaller and more appalling by the second.
Restaurants don't even use fresh foods anymore because it has become that much of a revolving door. As long as it's cheap ppl will come back because that is the American way of life now...EAT OUT EAT OUT EAT OUT!! if you're going to applebee's I don't ever expect the poorly trained newbie (and they always are new, what with that amazing turnover the restaurant industry has...probably stress from nasty customers..who knows, anyways)..
i don't expect some sub par or a corporate chain that offers 5.99 3 course lunches to be exactly stellar in the service department. Then again i'm not the type to snap my fingers at somebody for a half inch refill on my bev oo rage'.
I don't run my servers rampant over ridiculous things, consequently I've only ever had deplorable service 2 times that I can remember...and I've eaten out....A a lot of different states and countries and a lot of different types of establishments.

My other point to make with this is customers are flat out discriminatory when it comes to tipping. If this wasn't true hooters girls wouldn't pull in more in tips than the average wing and burger place. I watch my own family do it (unfortunately). Even some of my friends do it..and it's embarrassing. I actually have a friend who I used to work with who won't tip blacks or hindu's because they waited for so long and the whole time they always received very poor or no tips at all. They think they're making a statement..
and I also have a friend who everybody refuses to go out with now because he always complains about his food, gets something for free and then refuses to tip for some "reason or another"...
It's really all very ignorant and childish if you ask me. But unfortunately I really can say with confidence that while I was serving and delivering that people were prejudice against me because of who and what I am.

If service is that terrible I leave 10%...I usually tip 30%
I'll never forget one time I was at ruby tuesdays or some place like that..I got such bad service and this couple had 3 screaming toddlers and the server was trying her hardest and as i was dilligently waiting they left and left nothing...
how unfair, no wonder she had such a piss poor be run ragged like that and get zip.
I left her 20 bucks on a 18 dollar check..

It's just a matter of's a matter of "cooth" so to speak. Only teenagers and ignorant ppl stiff the servers...and even teenagers tip better now than their parents. That server is a person too..that is getting paid under 3 bucks an hour..and maybe the only reason they have that job is because they couldn't get the retail job they wanted because they weren't hiring. That's how i fell into food, it just so happened that I liked it...but I know plenty of kids that do it because it's an easy "in"'ll get hired in 2 seconds no matter what your reference at a restaurant. It's a guaranteed job to wait tables at the diner or drop of chinese food...but getting a job at the music store or the gap isn't...they're a little more selective and there's a bigger line.

just my 2 cents again
post #68 of 73
The whole concept of gratuities here in Aus are based on egalitarian values, i.e, you only tip on the basis of outstanding service, and there is no dependancy on receiving tips on top of wage/salary.

This is not necessarily good practice. But by the same token provides an incentive. The provision of good service tells you if you are doing your job properly via gratuities or feedback.

But only if you are professional enough to understand that. If you are dependant on tips, or in a situation where the expectation is that you would automatically receive a gratuity, then the reason to give outstanding service diminishes to a point where its an automatic response and a expectation, regardless of the outcome.

From where i stand, ongoing employment is feedback enough. I do not expect gratuities, nor accept them.
"Nothing quite like the feeling of something newl"
"Nothing quite like the feeling of something newl"
post #69 of 73
It can be very embarrasing to be out to dinner with someone who is too cheap to tip and will weigh each penny they part with. On the other hand I'm no fan of 30% tippers either, unless someone goes way above and beyond my expectations and inspires me to do so. I'm not a server - I am an independent contractor and I know that if I don't do my job well that eventually jobs won't come in and I won't make as much money as I need to. Waiters need to earn their money as well. I'm not at all comfortable with the idea that someone is entitled to a certain mount of tip from me just because their place of employment doesn't pay them and regardless of the service they provide.

Let's face it, dollars matter more to us now than they did 10 yrs ago. Nobody's parting with their buck without consideration. $20 tip on an $18 bill? Lol good for you if you have it, but not me. In fact when I was a server and got unusually large tips like that it actually made me feel a bit uncomfortable. Big tippers like that eventually expected more from me either in special attention, lenghtly conversations, or even asking me on a date. Sorry but I'm a woman, and I say no thanks to creepy guys thinking they can buy any kind of attention from me.

"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."


"You are what you eat, so don't be fast, cheap, easy, or fake."

post #70 of 73
>$20 tip on an $18 bill? Lol good for you if you have it, but not me.<

There's more than affordibility here. There's the matter of reinforcing the idea that service level doesn't count.

Using that instance, and assuming everything was as Bunden's says, here's how it works:

Table one: worked very hard, zero tip.
Table two: gave bad service, got tip larger than the check.

Conclusion: No matter what I do, my service level will not affect the tips I bring home. So why bother giving good service.

This is just one of the ways we've been training servers to not care.

I also agree that 30% as an automatic tip figure is outlandish.

What's more, the reasons people go out to eat is irrelevent to how they are treated. In my household, eating out is still a special-occasion sort of thing. But that shouldn't matter. If we ate out every night, I would still expect the same level of service. And adjust my tips to how it met my expectations.

What far too many wait staffers forget is that there's a reason why "server" and "servant" have the same root. Their job is, if only for the moment, to be my servant, and cater to my needs.

I hear all the excuses why that's not possible. That he/she has too many tables, or that there are problems at home, or that the chef just screamed at him/her, or that the people at the next table were so nasty, or that they were partying the night before. Etc. etc. Sure, servers are people, and those things can effect them, even if in theory they shouldn't. But, if they effect you to the point where you are taking it out on me, don't expect me to pay for the priviledge.

Unlike some who have posted here, I will not cry mea culpa for the actions of others. And I have absolutely no guilt feelings that you are working for less than minimum wage. Learn to do your job correctly and the tips will be there.

That was my attitude when I was a server. And I never had cause to complain about my tips. Indeed, I often made more than the chef, and return customers often asked specifically for me to be their waiter (we said waiter and waitress in those days).

To be sure, there were rude and uncaring servers back then, too. But their number was small, and they usually didn't last long. I remember one in particular. Let's call her Jane. She was always surly with everybody; carrying some sort of chip on her shoulder. And, no matter what sort of night she'd had, good (weren't too many of those, for her), bad, or middling, her tips went completely into her pocket. Not a dime for the busboys and dishwashers.

And then she'd wonder why it took so long for her tables to get bussed. And why the chairs at her tables never seemed to get wiped down properly.

Unfortunately, taken as a whole, the wait staff of America is now dominated by Janes. And why not. If we accept the most shoddy levels of service, and reward it with a good tip, why expect them to be anything else?
They have taken the oath of the brother in blood, in leavened bread and salt. Rudyard Kipling
They have taken the oath of the brother in blood, in leavened bread and salt. Rudyard Kipling
post #71 of 73
well ky
going by that logic it ISN'T the servers responsibility to tip out. I usually would to it as, I'm a nice person however if you want to operate by the service logic..the busboys and the kitchen already get's paid...why would the "servant" have to give them anymore money from the tips that they accrued?

30% --because I'm nice and I can do it because, like I said, I love to eat out and rather than buy myself useless material knick knacks to throw around the house i spend it on "going out" and having fun.
I certainly don't expect everybody to ever tip that much but my main point is they tip something..something viable like 10%.

The reason that girl gave me bad service (the one who got 20 bucks) was because it was a friday night..she had a huge rotation of tables...I would say 10 or 11. They were all busy and MOST were being a real pain in the rear.
All I care about is I get my soda refilled at the proper time (and I never really even have to ask, most of the time they do it)...and that my food is hot when it gets to the table. I really actually hate the whole "are you ok??...are you ok??" like 10 times while I'm trying to eat my annoys the **** out of me.

I just understand how unreasonable people really are
and for some reason it was always the ones who tipped really really horribly or didn't tip at all that made you walk through fire and jump through hoops
and no it's not my attitude because despite how it may seem I will even smile at the customer, even if they spit in my face or called me names...i grit and bear it
because I'm nice..and perhaps that is the biggest reason why i know the whole notion of "be nice to the customer and fulfill all their needs" mantra is all nothing but BS.

Doesn't matter if you carry a chip or not you still get treated like scum of the world...and I suppose that it can be attributed back to Stanley Milgrim and his theories of power and how people deep down love to inflict pain upon others.
post #72 of 73
In the '80's I worked as a short-order cook in an average "family restaurant", nothing fancy. It wasn't a chain. The food was better than Applebee's, but not much. Just explaining the place I worked at for a few years.

I was paid by the hour and I never saw any share of the tips. It didn't even occur to me that I'd get part of the tips. I was getting paid $3.50 an hour--15 cents above minimum wage at the time.

The servers (waiters and waitresses) kept all the tips they got. Some of them made more in tips than I did in wages. That's just how it worked.

I did respect the servers for earning their tips. The best servers got the best tips, and that made sense to me. I also didn't want to do their job :)

In my relations with the servers, tips were never a part of the equation since I didn't have a share in them. But if one of them was a jerk to me, I would move their order into a lower priority . . .

There was one waitress who made the biggest tips. Well . . . she was a sweetheart to me too, not just to the customers, and I was happy to see her make big tips! I gave her orders priority when I was having a hard time keeping up and needed to prioritize. Whoa, that makes me sound almost professional :^) . But anyway, what goes around comes around at least in some ways.

I'm in different work now, but I remember those days well.
post #73 of 73
There are those people that leave a penny, or if they have a leatherman with them, a half penny. And some people leave their tip in the form of advice, suggesting the server find a new job.

However when paying by credit card I've been temped to leave A NEGATIVE TIP a couple times where the server was really bad. I don't see anything on there that says tip must be greater than or equal to zero. :D

For example if the bill is $20, write -$5 in the line for the tip, and put $15 for the total amount.

In general I tip 15% of the service was normal, 20-30% if it was good and the server did an above average job, and 10% or less if it was below normal (IE. had to send the food back with no tangible compensation, had to go looking for my waiter/waitress, etc.)

And if I feel the restaurant is overpriced my percentage is also lowered, my theory is, "Just because the restaurant is overpriced, that's no reason to overtip"
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