Hello, all.
Currently a police officer.
Taking off the badge in a few months and going to cooking school. Why, you ask? Many reasons:
1. Hollandaise can't shoot at you.
2. In a kitchen, only the wine is half your age, and it doesn't want to kick your butt.
3. There are no sergeants in a kitchen. It's just you and The General, and perhaps his adjunct.
4. You don't have to wait six months until the trial to find out you missed something important.
5. A duty belt and body armor weigh about 35 lbs. Nuff said.
6. Navy blue 16 lb wool uniform on a hot summer's day? Whose idea was that!?
7. People will complain for almost any reason, but you have to darn near save their lives to get a compliment. Chefs don't usually stir up that sort of passion.
8. An minor error in the kitchen costs the price of a comped meal. An minor error in police work keeps lawyers and the internal affairs people employed.
9. You never have to play "good chef, bad chef."
10. Food service people don't have to read a legal warning before asking questions.
11. Nobody points to that deadly weapon a chef is always carrying, and asks "have you ever had to use that?"
12. Nobody ever asks a chef "shouldn't you be out looking for real criminis?"
13. In police work -nothing- ever smells good.
14. Chefs don't stand over a pile of dead meat and crack gallows jokes to keep from crying.
15. Liberals generally don't treat chefs like crap, unless the chef is serving foie gras, perhaps.
16. You'll never see a bumper sticker that says "bad chef, no brioche."
17. Cops do their jobs and ruin peoples days. Chefs do their jobs and ruin peoples diets.
18. Nobody ever complains about the way Mario Batali looks. If a cop gains a few pounds, though, everyone jokes about it.
19. A chef doesn't have to spend all day surrounded by criminals, unless he is one, and gets caught.
20. Chef's don't have to remember who gets the goldenrod copy and who gets the pink.
21. Cops don't even get discount coffee anymore. Chefs eat for free.
22. As a chef, I won't kick myself when one of my boys follows in my footsteps, like my dad did when I followed his.
23. I'll have to wear a hat to keep my hair out of the food. At least I'll get to HAVE hair.
24. A chef can someday aspire to own his own establishment. A cop will always have to answer to somebody.
25. Chefs are seldom issued rain gear and riot helmets.
26. When a cop brings his work home, it leads to alcoholism, domestic violence and divorce. When a chef brings his work home, it leads to...well, lets just say I can't wait to find out.
27. If a chef made a funny video about his profession, the mayor of San Francisco wouldn't hold a press conference to denounce it.
28. Chefs may become famous, but cop's best hope is to not become infamous.
29. If you can't stand being the heat, GET IN THE KITCHEN!
30. BECAUSE I CAN!
Currently a police officer.
Taking off the badge in a few months and going to cooking school. Why, you ask? Many reasons:
1. Hollandaise can't shoot at you.
2. In a kitchen, only the wine is half your age, and it doesn't want to kick your butt.
3. There are no sergeants in a kitchen. It's just you and The General, and perhaps his adjunct.
4. You don't have to wait six months until the trial to find out you missed something important.
5. A duty belt and body armor weigh about 35 lbs. Nuff said.
6. Navy blue 16 lb wool uniform on a hot summer's day? Whose idea was that!?
7. People will complain for almost any reason, but you have to darn near save their lives to get a compliment. Chefs don't usually stir up that sort of passion.
8. An minor error in the kitchen costs the price of a comped meal. An minor error in police work keeps lawyers and the internal affairs people employed.
9. You never have to play "good chef, bad chef."
10. Food service people don't have to read a legal warning before asking questions.
11. Nobody points to that deadly weapon a chef is always carrying, and asks "have you ever had to use that?"
12. Nobody ever asks a chef "shouldn't you be out looking for real criminis?"
13. In police work -nothing- ever smells good.
14. Chefs don't stand over a pile of dead meat and crack gallows jokes to keep from crying.
15. Liberals generally don't treat chefs like crap, unless the chef is serving foie gras, perhaps.
16. You'll never see a bumper sticker that says "bad chef, no brioche."
17. Cops do their jobs and ruin peoples days. Chefs do their jobs and ruin peoples diets.
18. Nobody ever complains about the way Mario Batali looks. If a cop gains a few pounds, though, everyone jokes about it.
19. A chef doesn't have to spend all day surrounded by criminals, unless he is one, and gets caught.
20. Chef's don't have to remember who gets the goldenrod copy and who gets the pink.
21. Cops don't even get discount coffee anymore. Chefs eat for free.
22. As a chef, I won't kick myself when one of my boys follows in my footsteps, like my dad did when I followed his.
23. I'll have to wear a hat to keep my hair out of the food. At least I'll get to HAVE hair.
24. A chef can someday aspire to own his own establishment. A cop will always have to answer to somebody.
25. Chefs are seldom issued rain gear and riot helmets.
26. When a cop brings his work home, it leads to alcoholism, domestic violence and divorce. When a chef brings his work home, it leads to...well, lets just say I can't wait to find out.
27. If a chef made a funny video about his profession, the mayor of San Francisco wouldn't hold a press conference to denounce it.
28. Chefs may become famous, but cop's best hope is to not become infamous.
29. If you can't stand being the heat, GET IN THE KITCHEN!
30. BECAUSE I CAN!
