Chrose. You went straight to the heart of the matter. And is not off topic, it IS the topic. During their star ride I have no doubt that these people so in the public eye had hard, sometimes even bitter choices to make. More so for women chefs, they grow their own personal aquatic world within them, with all the marvel that brings. An ordinary miracle one might suggest, but miracle none the less. And women in general terms are treated with more mercy, than a Dad who would sacrifice his eye teeth to withdraw and care for his babies as the Mum does. I am glad I am no longer young, I think the young people today face harder choices than my generation, our parents and grandparents ever faced. I said choices, not challenges. A different era, a different ethos. A different trap.
It is true to that the employed partner may be so keen to provide comforts for their family, they spiral into personal deprivation of their family. A deadly deception. Everyone looses. It is better to do without, we didn't have a tv for many years, my husband wore a uniform, which quite saved our bacon, and I wore clothes given by my sister, and my neighbour. More bacon. I was lucky, I am a registered nurse. So we bought a rest home. And could keep my kids with me as I worked. It wasn't a lot of fun for me, but it sure was fun for our patients. And our kids.
Now this IS off topic. My baby Christian was just walking by this time. He took a fancy to Mrs. W. who had been found living in a packing case. She was tiny, with a more than just tragic history. They started early, he would be with her as I showered her. He would be with her as she went to the sitting room. They didn't talk to other, but they communicated. Their own way. She had never talked in anyones memory. She saved little treats for him for when he woke up. I had brought an afternoon man in to entertain the ladies, and he did. An American man of curious charm and empathy. And a very good eye for some of the inherited art about the place. I only managed to keep him for about 10mths. but in that time he worked magic. My son was sharing Mrs W chair by then, and she had stopped her incessant rocking. They began to laugh, and he was beginning to talk. They talked. They did. And he held her hand as they walked about the place. Then he started Kindy, it was very hard for both of them. They missed each other. But one day she came outside, to my office. All by herself with photographs of her family. To show me. She had not been outside in 10 years. And had to negotiate several outside steps. A mission. She carefully walked around the big black hole she could see, with all the ravens flying in it. We had a cup of tea, she showed me her pictures. We talked, she talked by now, and then she wanted to go back to her home, so we walked around the big black hole, with the ravens in it, and back to her chair. She died not long after, and Christie has never said her name from that day to this. I let him grieve his own way, he was only three, but he knew.