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Kitchen Personalities........

post #1 of 80
1/9/07 at 9:01pm
Thread Starter 
There are many categories that people in the kitchen fall into such as.....

"The Clock Milker" This is the person who will take at least one hour or more for each and every task no matter how easy or how difficult because he/she is timing his actions to work as least as possible.

"The Headless Chicken" This is the person who works very very hard but has no direction. He/she works harder than they have to because they don't think things through or don't know how to use certain equipment.

"The Kiss ***" This is the person who only works hard only when the Chef is around. This person also will indirectly let the Chef know that they are hard working by speaking to another person but speaks loud enough so that Chef can hear them.

"The Young culinary student" This is usually that one culinary student that does everything by the book. He/ she works just as they were trained but sometimes they pick up bad habits from others around em. I.E. taking shortcuts. Young as in fresh out of culinary school

"The Walker" This person loves to walk around. They start to walk around after they finish there tasks. They don't do any more work than they are required to do, no helping anyone because they are selfish and lazy.

"The Handicap" This person is not really handicapped but he/she doesn't work to their full potential because they know that somewhere along the line the Chef will ask someone to save, I mean help there sorry a**.

Do any of you have any other personalities in mind????
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post #2 of 80
1/9/07 at 9:38pm
Oh, there are many other types too. I tend to deal with them and not put up with them though...
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post #3 of 80
1/9/07 at 11:39pm
I'm surprised this one isn't here...

The Hard Worker - Does everything that is expected of him cleanly, professionally, within the time granted
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post #4 of 80
1/10/07 at 7:48am
"The Mercenary"
The guy you spent months training who leaves for another twenty five cents an hour.

"The Tweaker"
Something is just wrong with him.

"Mr Sensitive"
This is a kitchen, not a church or confessional.

"underground"
Has no bank accounts. No insurance of any kind, Cashes his paycheck down the street. Lives hand to mouth, payday to payday, and has no ambition beyond that.

" The Drama queen"
Because just saying it isn't enough.
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post #5 of 80
1/10/07 at 8:25am

good call ras

I'm with RAS. People seem to overlook the one with good qualities. I've found that we are a minority in a lot of kitchens. How about this:

The Success- Someone who strives to do the job to the best of there ability, meanwhile striving to better themselves by learning from those around them, moving up the ladder and helping others, no matter what people (the shoemakers) around them may say.
" Never fry bacon naked!"

-Powers
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post #6 of 80
1/10/07 at 8:41am
I don't think were omitting the good stuff for it's usually the the good worker coining these phrases.
Mine "pidgeons" the corperate suits that fly in, poop all over everything, make a mess, and then fly away.

Never! Live To Work!:::::::Work To Live!::Life Is To Short!!
Paninicakes.com

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post #7 of 80
1/10/07 at 9:03am
ROFLMAO:lol: :lol:
Oh Man, Pan, do I ever know that one!

www.foodandphoto.com

Liquored up and laquered down,
She's got the biggest hair in town!

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post #8 of 80
1/10/07 at 10:16am
Another bird is the " peacock". Their feathers get in the way of our jobs and you can't hear chef over their sqwaking about how good they are. Never want to admit when they ****ed up and always finds a way of making people below him feel very small. In other words, bullies with egos.
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post #9 of 80
1/10/07 at 12:11pm
Good one Rivit. I've known my share.

Also, "the old school" - cusses, yells and hates the waitstaff during service, but gets everything done. After service, old school can be found at the bar.
Anulos qui animum ostendunt omnes gestemus!
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post #10 of 80
1/10/07 at 12:36pm
I have one -

The Sucker: Works his/her *** off for a business, possibly for years, spurred to super-human acheivements by promises of the Big Time/big paycheck - which of course will never materialize in that particular business. Generally a very competent employee who is too trustworthy and loyal for their own good.



Erik.
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post #11 of 80
1/10/07 at 12:55pm
"The Phenom" or "What The F*** Are You Doing Here": Brilliant culinarian with oodles of potential who just wants to cook on the line, puts in tons of hours, creates spectacular dishes/presentations but doesn't aspire to be anything more than a cook.

"The She-Ra": Gurrrrrrl with massive chip on her shoulder determined to prove she is as tough as the boys, so much so she is often referred to by another, less affectionate word that rhymes with 'witch'.

"The 'WTF'": Kid who stares blankly at the task ahead of him/her for long moments before again asking what to do.

"The Finger Pointer": Tells on everyone incessantly for whatever mistake they may or may not have made.

"The Rogue/Casanova": Sleeps with all the waitresses, managers and hostesses... also sometimes known as "The Guy I Am Jealous Of"

"The Joker": Thinks everything is funny, is always smiling, doesn't have much going on up stairs and always says "No problem" when clearly he has one and it should be addressed in therapy.

"The Smoker": No one knows how this guy/gal ever accomplishes anything. They reek of stale cigarette or other more nefarious smoke and always seem to be outside smoking. This person tends never to get fired either and it makes you really angry.
Mike

“If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.” -- Zaphod Beeblebrox
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post #12 of 80
1/10/07 at 1:02pm
The Magician - Line cook who is able to perform unbelievable kitchen feats, but will never reveal the secrets behind their terrible and frightening powers.
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post #13 of 80
1/10/07 at 3:20pm
Have we ever met? Hehehe:D ;) Why Soitenly. Nuk nuk nuk I resemble that remark (not really but since that is my chosen username...):D
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post #14 of 80
1/10/07 at 6:15pm
Thread Starter 
"The Dumba**": This is the person who pretends they don't know sh** because they are just to lazy to preform the task. I.E. Chef: "Dumba** can you please make some coleslaw???? Dumba**: What's coleslaw??

"The Fatboy": This is the person whol will taste a sauce about 50 times only because there fat, not to get the taste right. Have you ever seen anyone standing over the stove with a thrid pan full of USED tasting spoons??
Then he wonders why his stomach hurts.

"The Slob": This is the person who will use the cutting board for there trash, unfinished product, and finished product until they start dropping sh*t on the floor. Also always wears the same Chef pants, you can tell because of the stains.

"The cool guy": This is the 18-22 year old kid who wears a sideways or backwards baseball cap in the kitchen instead of a skull cap or chef hat.

"The hard to please Chef" You can never please this Chef. Whenever you call him for tasting he'll say "this food is perfect but next time add a little more salt". Or if your prepping stuffed chicken breast or ANYTHING after you get done and break down the station he'll ask you How many did you make?.......You tell him fifty chef! He'll say make 10 more. EVERY FRIGGIN TIME.

The corporate moron: This person will tell you how tasty your GARLIC AIOLI is, not knowing that when one mentions aioli, it is automatically known to be a garlic mayonnaise.
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post #15 of 80
1/10/07 at 7:18pm
You forgot the space cadet- the guy or girl who smokes so much weed they cannot even remember the recipe even after doing it over and over and over and over again. I'm lucky enough to have 2.

And of course The Immigrant_ the Spanish guy who works all day for crap pay who can do the work faster, more consistently and better than most, who is completely dependable, he just doesn't know English --I'm BLESSED with one of those too. I love you Edgar.

Also the invisible GM who never seems to be there when it is busy or the sauce hits the fan-- yup, got one too.
Fluctuat nec mergitur
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post #16 of 80
1/10/07 at 8:11pm
I'm very much like the "Headless Chicken" (duh! hence my screen name) however I do have direction and think. But usually, I rarely have the time to. Today for instance, I did 3 people's jobs in 1 shift and the only booboo I did was burn 4 philly steaks but otherwise, I did the grill perfectly, pita wraps perfectly, pizzas almost perfectly, screwed up 1 muffin out of 4 dozen, delivered all the caterings correctly and on time, covered everyone's break, served up breakfast fast and picture perfect, and still had time and energy to clean up.

Oh btw, I was only running on 2 fruit juices, didn't...couldn't stop for lunch.
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post #17 of 80
1/10/07 at 8:40pm
"Old Reliable": This is the guy who lacks any and all creativity when it comes to his work, but he's fast, he's clean, he's dependable, and if you show him how to do something once, he's got it forever. Just don't ask him to think on his feet in a stress situation, because he'll fall apart if you do.
"Hunger is the best pickle." -- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac
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post #18 of 80
1/10/07 at 8:52pm
Thread Starter 
what about
"Houdini": This is the one who always manages to do a disappearing act. Either outside smoking, in the walk in drinking booze, or out somewhere trying to hit on the wait staff.

"The scapegoat cook": When cooking this person ALWAYS seems to either season with Herbs de provence or Italian seasoning, only because it's a quick mix.

"The immigrant #2": When asked to preform a task he acts as if he doesn't understand english. He/she only understands english when he/she wants to. You ever ask he/she something?? Then you get the famous line of "I don't know"...with a thick spanish accent.

"Don Juan": Comes into work smelling like he put on a gallon of cheap cologne. Same goes for some women, but she wears a gallon of perfume and smells like a french whore.

"The walking accident": this person is just an accident waiting to happen. He/she uses improper knife techniques and cuts him/herself at least once a week. Grabs hot pans out of the oven with wet towels, and wonders why the towels get so darn hot.
:chef::chef: :lol: :lol: :lol: :chef: :chef:
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post #19 of 80
1/11/07 at 7:17am

just B.S.ing

Very nice Mred...."the Rogue"!!!

I think of it more as "the ambassedor"- the guy who sleeps with the front of the house staff...waitresses, hostess and bartenders. This is a very important job because it emulsifies the the water (FOH) and oil (BOH), so then when cooks need drinks, or a table for their mom on a busy night or anything that as cooks we would just get brushed aside. This person has that special power to facilitate such needs. However sleeping with management is always best because you find out before anyone else and they can never "freak out" on you at work for fear they might get in trouble. So I hear........................
" Never fry bacon naked!"

-Powers
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post #20 of 80
1/11/07 at 8:17am
:talk: That sounded a little like you speaking from experience at the end there. What's up with that?

I guess "The Ambassador" is an apt name for the "Rogue"

There is a few more

"Culinary School Fashion Victim": Wears his checked pants and toque even when everyone else in the kitchen is wearing jeans, bandanas and black coats.

"Bloody Mess": The person who always seems to burn themselves on the ovens, surfaces, pots and pans. This person also slices themselves open, seemingly, at every opportunity and trips, slips and falls constantly. This person spends more time patching themselves up or icing something then cooking.

"The 'Who's He/She Sleeping With?' Guy/Girl": This person is the lousiest cook in the world, shows up late, has plates come back, is rude and difficult but somehow always comes out smelling like a rose.
Mike

“If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.” -- Zaphod Beeblebrox
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post #21 of 80
1/11/07 at 9:51am
The "Escoffier would be rolling in his grave" Newbie - The fresh-faced culinary graduate (or possibly extern) who actually believes that anyone cares they can namedrop old famous chefs, recite food trivia, or know what a coulis is. This is the person who will always say, "Well you know that dish isn't an AUTHENTIC <insert culinary term here, followed by scads of food etymology while other people are actually doing work>.

(If you are one of these people let me tell you right now that I will always prefer to hang out with the reliable Columbian grill guy and talk about football than I'd want to sit around with you and gush over how creative the new menu is at Spring.)
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post #22 of 80
1/11/07 at 10:03am
Amen to that! Although I gotta hand it to Shawn McClain he really knows his stuff.

You and I always seem to agree on these kinds of things LogghiB. Here is another one.

"The Trotterite" A Chef who over complicates dishes to untenable extremes. The 'Orthodox' Trotterite will use four paragraphs to describe the texture of an edible flower in his salad.
Mike

“If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.” -- Zaphod Beeblebrox
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post #23 of 80
1/11/07 at 12:03pm
Heh. I know this guy.


"The Man Who Would Be Puck": A chef whose idea of "creativity in the kitchen" equates to "combine two to five different cuisines in a "fusion" that's just shy of utterly bizarre, not to mention borderline disgusting (like Medallions of Goat's Leg Curried a la Kiwi Fruit with a side of Beet Puree and a Crusted Parmesan Asparagus Spear, all on a bed of Bulgar Wheat Bran Flakes).
"Hunger is the best pickle." -- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac
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post #24 of 80
1/11/07 at 12:41pm
The "bobble head" standing behind the chef while he is reaming someone.
The "referee" FOH suit trying to justify his or her existance by coming into the kitchen.
We have just written a small book. I claim it!!!
The "squatter" takes ownership for anything done in the past before you got here.

Never! Live To Work!:::::::Work To Live!::Life Is To Short!!
Paninicakes.com

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post #25 of 80
1/11/07 at 3:07pm

and more

The Knife: Claims the knives are too sharp/dull/light/heavy/small/large so he can't acually be expected to do his job under such conditions.

The Criminal: Friendly neighborhood drug dealer who begged you for a job so he could get into the work release program. Great worker, who threathens to come back and kill you once he is sprung for good.

The PMS chick: She can be excused from all bad behavior because she is PMS or PPMS (pre-pms) or the other PPMS (post-pms) or TOM. She's got the whole month covered! Let's all bow our heads, in silence, and wish for a Midol Moment.

The Historian: We have never done it like this before! We have never done it like this before!

The Family Tree: This guy has had so many grandmothers die that you have begun to keep track. Each of his parents must have been remarried a dozen times in order to come up with so many dead Grandmothers!

Suz
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post #26 of 80
1/11/07 at 4:12pm
Hey now... some of my best, most talented, and most dependable line cooks are criminals on work-release.
"Hunger is the best pickle." -- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac
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post #27 of 80
1/11/07 at 4:47pm
What about the knife-porn-freak. This is the guy who is so fond of his knives -shows them to everyone, recites a spectral analysis of the metal content to anyone who will listen, sharpens them on the steel as long and loudly as he can, flips out if anyone walks too closely to it, cuts veggies faster (and louder) than anyone, but can't caramelize an onion to save his life and completely crushes any lettuce he tries to cut and wash.

www.foodandphoto.com

Liquored up and laquered down,
She's got the biggest hair in town!

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post #28 of 80
1/11/07 at 5:26pm

I love the "Midol Moment" bit...

I belive that PMS is now more commonly used as a TLA (Three Letter Acronym) for Putting Up with Men's S#!+... :smiles:

Hand over the chocolate, and nobody gets hurt!!! ;)
I might be suffering from CDO.
It is just like OCD, except the letters are in alphabetical order.
Just as they should be...
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post #29 of 80
1/11/07 at 11:09pm
Thread Starter 
"The hispanic gangster"- Claims to have left his skull cap at home, so he wears a hair net to show off his new gang member style haircut.

"The dishwasher with pride"- Will tell you to stack the two hundred pans neatly (one on top of the other) on the dirty dish rack when you try to dump it and run.

"the idiot pastry cook"- Her idea of pastries is laying out a box of Otis Spunkmeyer's cookies out on a parchment lined sheet pan.
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post #30 of 80
1/12/07 at 3:21am
The Professional Hang-Over: Doesn't matter what day it is, this guy shows up on the line smelling vaguely of stale beer. His eyes are red and puffy, his voice is gravelly, and while you're pretty certain he's not actually drunk, you know damned sure that he was quite recently. Constantly raids the first aid kit for tylenol.
"Hunger is the best pickle." -- Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac
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