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The ultimate chocolate cake

post #1 of 8
4/30/07 at 1:48am
Thread Starter 
I'm doing a stage performance of a pastry chef, but more likely a pâtissier. I'm doing Micheal Rosan's Chocolate Cake, a poem about a boy that is obssed with chocolate cake.

I want to change it, and adapt it to a chef instead who is obssed about it. I thought of staging the monologue in a kitchen, starting off with somethiing like, "Chef i need 400 grams of the madagascian organic hand picked free range crulety free chocolate please".

I'm sort of taking the piss at it, but what i need help is, what ideas can you guys have about the ultimate most over the top crazy chocolate cake that you can make?

Also, if you guys could suggest any crazy terms even if their not supposed to be in there, like a getaux or something. The more french it is, the better :D.

Thanks for any help.
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post #2 of 8
5/1/07 at 3:38pm
I love this thread!
Ok.....let's see.

four dozen cage free, corn fed, free ranging,fertilized quail eggs, separated into blown glass bowls whipped with a 10 gauge whip until the whites stiffen to mountainous peaks...the yolks whipped with a .5 gauge whip until they form grograin ribbons on top of each other.

Organically raised monosaturated field pressed sugar from Thai bamboo cane purified with mountain essential waters in super-fine granules.

Colossus free wheeling Summer Wheat carbon ground to a cake flour fineness with burr headed presses, stored for freshness with creotin in a lockproof container.
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post #3 of 8
5/2/07 at 2:24am
Thread Starter 
^ HAHA! YES I LOVE IT!

Organic grown with volcanic soil grown handpicked by the witch doctors of the Vanjutu tribe of, Thahitian Vanilla.

Btw, what else would go into the ultimate chocolate cake?

Basic ingredients are:

Sugar, Flour, Chocolate, Eggs, Water/Milk?
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post #4 of 8
5/2/07 at 4:45am
butter sometimes
cake flour
cocoa
leavening....soda or baking powder
icing usually butter, powdered sugar, coco, cream, salt
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post #5 of 8
5/2/07 at 9:38am
My personal suggestion, but of course that's just me would be to finish it off after listing all these rare, obtuse ingredients etc would be to exclaim "And to top it off with the piece d'resistance.....Cool Whip"!:eek: :D
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post #6 of 8
5/2/07 at 1:48pm

I have it

Heston Blumenthal (The Fat Duck)

His recipe for Black Forest Gateau takes up two A4 pages and will take at least 12 hours to make.

Find the recipe and you have your piece.

ChefsWorld
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post #7 of 8
5/6/07 at 6:33pm
talk about overkill....jiminy, I've had lucious cake that has only taken 11.75 hours. :)

ok pircer....how about incorporating technique and equipment into the mix.
wood fired, antique natural gas combo- oven with bamboo parchment paper made from organic fields of China....etc.
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post #8 of 8
5/7/07 at 5:57am
Thread Starter 
I was thinking of just taking all the French pastry terms instead, i mean, its for an audience which is farily young, so anything that isnt english is already so exotic, such as getaux, reduce, gelee, and er... what else do you guys know?
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