Kyle,
I find the idea that you'd recommend against a lager with a hamburger, and an IPA with fish and chips disturbing. I love both of those.
Lagers tend to be crisp like many white wines. While can be smooth, like some reds. But I don't think the analogy holds any farther than that, and it's not much of a guide. Maybe you could go into you ideas about pairing more deeply.
In re., O'Doul's, Kaliber, and other non-alcoholic beers: If you think of ".05% alcohol" as "99.95% alcohol-free" that may help you realize that both mean 5 parts per 10,000. It really doesn't get more non-alcoholic than that. Ripe fruit and vanilla ice cream are more highly concentrated.
Work it out yourself. Vanilla extract is 35% alcohol; 1 tsp extract per pt = ~1/3 tsp alcohol per pt.; 96 tsp per pt = 288 1/3 tsp; 1/288 = ~0.35%; QED vanilla ice cream is (roughly) seven times more concentrated.
All "non-alcoholic" beers have trace amounts of alcohol.
Let me add that I respect the desire to avoid even trace amounts of alcohol, as well as the ideas that even a scintilla in non-alcoholic beer is "enabling," is forbidden from religious dietary schema, or anything else. I'm certainly not telling you how to organize your life or beliefs. But as a matter of reality, if you're really serious about avoiding alcohol in even these tiny amounts, you probably can't. It's not only added to all sorts of different foods, but it's a naturally occuring substance.
BDL
Edited by boar_d_laze - 10/5/10 at 8:41am