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post #1 of 17
4/20/01 at 3:11am
Thread Starter 
This is not a good day. Early Thursday morning, my good friend, room-mate and former employee (a talented cook), was pulled over by police. It was just a random stop, but he'd been drinking (and already had one DUI) and panicked. He got out of his car and ran, and for reasons unknown to those of us that knew him, jumped off a bridge over the currently flooding Minnesota River. No body has been found yet and our prayers are with him and his family. So, to any of you that may know someone with a drinking problem, say something or do something, if you can. If not, you may find yourself in my situation; missing a friend that may have gone long before his time.
Anulos qui animum ostendunt omnes gestemus!
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post #2 of 17
4/20/01 at 5:33am
I'm VERY SORRY to hear about your loss!

I'm glad to see you reach out to others and pass on words of wisdom...I hope you continue.
"Bakers are born, not made. We are exacting people who delight in submitting ourselves to rules and formulas if it means achieving repeatable perfection", Rose Levy Beranbaum
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post #3 of 17
4/20/01 at 5:40am
My sympathies. Personally I spend a 20 dollar bill and get a taxi. It's much cheaper than a dui; the latter costs upwards of $7000 - $10000 when it's all paid for. GET A TAXI Y'ALL; you'd be doing yourselves a huge lifesaving and moneysaving favor.

Again, my sympathies go out to you. I just lost a friend to suicide, possibly. We're not sure if his wife committed murder. This tragedy has made me extremely fired up lately. :mad:

[ April 20, 2001: Message edited by: kokopuffs ]

Best,

 

-T

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post #4 of 17
4/20/01 at 10:53am
My deepest sympathies. The loss of a friend is always painful. Hang in there!

I'm glad you're spreading the word around.

Kim
I cook'n bake with passion...
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post #5 of 17
4/20/01 at 11:44am
I don't want to turn this forum into a soap box, but Greg is right! 13 years ago my family sat me down and said "You can get help or you can get out." I cannot tell you how important it is for loved ones to lay down the law. Show someone you really do care by demonstrating some consequence for bad, alcoholic (drug addicted) behavior. Don't be afraid to shut someone out of your life. Often it is the only language we understand! If my family had not been willing to step up I would either be dead or in prison. Oh, how I love my family :)

Greg,
I am truly sorry for the loss of your friend. We are the ones who must decide we want to get sober. Until we are ready (read bottom out) nothing anyopne else can do will save us from ourselves.

Kyle

[ April 20, 2001: Message edited by: KyleW ]
At weddings, my Aunts would poke me in the ribs and cackle "You're next!". They stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.
www.kyleskitchen.net
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post #6 of 17
4/20/01 at 12:37pm
What you're going through sounds really tough, Greg. Keep your chin up, and thanks for spreading the thoughtful advice...
www.cakesuite.com
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post #7 of 17
4/20/01 at 1:14pm
Greg, it sounds like you are greiving your loss, and we join you in that. We all have (or can) experience the same thing in our lives.

Suicide/self-destruction .... we (the living) rightfully say "What a waste of life." We all may think "I wonder if I might have done something to prevent this from happening.." You can .. it's called Crisis Intervention.

Consider this .. almost every town/city has some kind of Crisis Intervention Center, whose purpose is to "be there" for somebody's "last call ??" .. a non-judgemental ear (warm body) to actually listen to whatever the caller has to say.

My home town, Palo Rojo, has such a center. I completed the 100 hours of training and then was a "PHONE Counselor" for two years - a wonderful experience.

Consider calling your local Crisis Center, and see if their program has something to offer you, so that you can help your family, friends, and co-workers (and yourself.)
..... from the bayou
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post #8 of 17
4/20/01 at 1:55pm
Greg...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and the family of your dear friend.

Thank you for sharing this with us.
I have said a prayer.
Gods speed
sinserly
Brad
Baruch ben Rueven / Chanaבראד, ילד של ריימונד והאלאן
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post #9 of 17
4/20/01 at 4:00pm
It is always difficult when a friend is lost to find words to express your feeling. My thoughts are with you Greg.
When I get a little money, I buy books. And if there is any left over, I buy food.

- Desiderius Erasmus
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post #10 of 17
4/20/01 at 4:24pm
Dear Greg,
I am so sorry to hear this story of your friend. Be of stout heart, my friend. There are many here who are sending their best compassion, thoughts of support and prayers your way. We are with you and wish you only the best.

www.foodandphoto.com

Liquored up and laquered down,
She's got the biggest hair in town!

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post #11 of 17
4/20/01 at 7:42pm
Oh Greg, I'm so sorry.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
cooking with all your senses.....
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post #12 of 17
4/21/01 at 12:10am
Greg, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
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post #13 of 17
4/21/01 at 1:08am
Thread Starter 
Thanks to everyone for your kind words, it really helps. Today they called off the search and the finality of it all is sinking in. I'll still feel better when they find him, I hope, as I'm sure his family will. As things stand now, I'm flipping back and forth from being angry with him, being sad and being happy that I had the chance to know this exceptional person. This time of night, though, I keep expecting him to walk in the door.
I'm also pretty mad at me. I had a room-mate about a year ago that is an alcoholic. It got to the point where his problem was affecting me, so I booted him. He eventually hit the bottom, sobered up and is doing well. I still can't figure out why I did something then, but not this time. Even though I do know I'm not responsible for my friend's death, I do know that I didn't do all that I could; one horrible lesson to learn and far too high a price to learn it.
Anulos qui animum ostendunt omnes gestemus!
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post #14 of 17
4/21/01 at 1:36am
Greg, my sympathies are with you in the loss of your friend.
Laughter is the medicine of life
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post #15 of 17
4/21/01 at 5:29am
Dear Greg:

My sympathies are with you.

Your grieving is the best gift you could offer to your departed friend. I am sure that he is somewhere where he can feel your feelings.
"Olio nuovo e vino vecchio"
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post #16 of 17
4/23/01 at 6:02am
Greg, so sorry to hear about this. My wife and I will put your friends family in our prayers.

I agree with you about saying something, too often we just say "It's none of my business". True friendship means accountability.
Thanks,

Nicko 
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post #17 of 17
4/23/01 at 4:54pm
Greg, you have my condolences. And thank you for reminding us all that we DO affect each other, and often in ways we cannot comprehend.
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***It is better to ask forgiveness than beg permission.***
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