Me play pranks? Stodgy, sour, crusty, old fart like me play pranks?
Never!
However.... Wherever I went, pranks would be played out on co-workers, but never me.... Particularily the egg trick. See, an egg would be hollowed out, a length of butcher's twine threaded through and a paper-clip tied on to the other end. This assembly would be hung on the the back of aprons or pockets. Nothing quite like th sight of an egg dancing between the legs of some poor unsuspecting schmuck as s/he goes about their business.
And then there was the pastry chef. Largish sort of guy, 2 m (6') big, with an uncommonly large, uh, girth--built like a sattelite dish, if you know what I mean. For some un-explained reason he would always carefully hang his work pants outside of his locker at the end of his shift. And what pants they were too--enough material to do a dozen curtains for the back windows of Winnabagoes(sp?). Now he always used a pair of suspenders AND a belt, and the sight of this pair of pants--un-protected as it were, was too tempting a target. The pants ended up pinned on the staff bulletin board one day, resulting in a bit of embarassment and a heated bet going on between the housekeeping girls as to the waist size...
And then there was the waiter... It wouldn't of happened to him if he weren't such a, um, obnoxious person. Waiter-boy would always hang out on the other side of the pass swilling a glass of wine and bragging about the tips he earned. One day a cook decided it was too much and cling filmed over his wine glass when the waiter-boy went out to check on his tables. The whole team was watching the cook, and all waited for a lull so waiter-boy could come back and brag some more and swill his wine. Everyone expected him to try to drink from his glass: Ha-ha and all that. But waiter-boy came back with the remains of a bottle of wine and tried to add it to his glass. Wine all down his front. Needless to say he was P.O'd, and screamed at the Chef for dry-cleaning compensation. Chef pointed out to him (rather tartly, too...) that drinking while on duty was verboten, but if he wanted to take up the matter with the Owner, it was up to him.
And the cook who couldn't keep his new expensive designer glasses on his head. I mean, they were left on the prep table, on top of the printer, by the sink... Chef told him to either get a chain for them to hang around his neck, get contacts, or keep the effing things on his head. One day the glasses were found next to the fryer and it was just too much. They were cling filmed and then pasted with mayo, one lense dipped in parlsey, one lense in parika. Guy finds them, freaks out and starts to wash them, mayo runs off and the cling film starts to peel off. Guy really freaks out now, moaning about how his new glasses had just melted. He showed up next day with a chain for them.
And then there was the new guy who got conned into straining the fryer oil the "easy way"... And the girls who complained that someone had stuffed a urinal puck (Pina-Colada scented...) in the grille of the a/c diffuser in the girl's change room, and then there was the .......