or Connect
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Kitchen Pranks!? - Page 2

post #31 of 116
This one was played on me on the first day I was promoted to saute by the chef who promoted me. After they welded themselves to me, he said: "Vaht isht da matter vit djew colletch boy? Ain't djew nevah voirk der grill stayshun? Djew still gaht feelin's in der hands? Ach ha ha ha. Der necks few veeks isht goonner be sehr goot. Djew gahtter luff der firjins. Ach ha ha ha."

post #32 of 116

that just not right

I'd had to have hurt somebody :lol:
Preparing a fine meal with quality ingredients is the most practical way we show our love. How we plate shows the depth of our caring.
Preparing a fine meal with quality ingredients is the most practical way we show our love. How we plate shows the depth of our caring.
post #33 of 116
A bit of ketchup under the bar gun after you get a soda is a good simple trick.

My personal favorite was years ago in a Las Vegas hotel we had a dishwasher who was being a pain in the... So I'm making some special Veal Parm for the crew. Six of us. But for his I used a bar rag and cut it into the shape of a cutlet then breaded it and sauteed it up with the rest. I put sauce and cheese on it and served it up with pasta. It was beautiful it looked like all the rest.

A subtle one was in Vegas as well. I worked a place where my relief came in an hour early to set up. He'd fill a bus tub with ice to ice down his eggs for omelets and set it right in the middle of his station. As I'd leave I'd take my knife and make a small hole in the bottom of the tub. He's wiping up water all day.
post #34 of 116
The guy was impervious pain, had been the victim of every rat-f#ck known to man, had a great sense of humor when he wasn't in a drunken, violent rage -- which was about 50/50. So he'd either just laugh or start throwing cutlery.

He'd learned to cook when he was stationed in Paris as part of the WWII German occupation. He claimed to have cooked for von Stoltitz. That could be true or complete BS. Who knows? He cooked like a god, and could teach cooking to a donkey. Or even me, for that matter. "Gott dammit colletch-boy, like zo! Gott dammit!" Don't let my middle-aged infatuation with the fact that I was once young confuse you about my feelings. He was a complete *********ker.

post #35 of 116
how funny is all this......Gollies am sitting here laughing to so loud and the cats are looking at me weird. The funniest is the dancing question. :D

Well did the final of my exams yesterday for graduation of the Cert 2. :bounce:
Have three days to go and have then have the cooking competition. Was really looking forward to that until I got the names of who is in the comp. I am the only person that isnt in the workplace. Am just fulltime in school.

post #36 of 116
this is one of my favorite..
believe me it will work fantastic during working night shift or during concentrating peeling the onions or potatoes or during the kitchen is so so dam quiet or during student exams...
very ezy..get a BIG pot the biggest one dat u can find...slowly sneak behind ur victim..& drop the heavy pot as hard as u can...huahhahaha..
will giv them a gud wackup call hehe..dun worry if u scared dat they might do nasty thing to u..quickly jus said "oopppss sorry i dropped the pots.."
walk away ..& can do the laughing later in the toilet..hehehe :D
post #37 of 116
This is not a kitchen prank, but it's something anybody can do. My work involves driving a van.

Buy a bicycle inner tube. Cut about a 1-foot section. Put one end around a car or truck exhaust pipe, and secure it on with a zip tie or whatever. It ends up as a floppy extension on the tail pipe.

When the engine is started, it makes kind of a flatulence sound, and at highway speed it screeches like mad. This is my invention :D

You need the right diameter inner tube to fit on there. You should have to stretch it a bit to get it around the tail pipe. Then if it isn't secured well it will just blow off of there.
post #38 of 116
i was working pastries and there was one busboy who would always steal my truffles. i took a quail egg and dipped it in chocolate, then left it out as the easiest one to steal.
post #39 of 116
hahahaha thats funny
post #40 of 116
Then there was the noob who got conned into straining the fryer the "easy way". Guess they never had to strain fryers in cooking school, and the noob was very put-off with the job. The "easy way" was suggested...

"what's that?"

"Look, you clear a consomme with eggwhite and meat, right?"

"yeah, so?"

"Well, you just stir a little eggwhite into the fryer, wait a few minutes, then remove the raft that has all the crud imbedded into it. But, hey, take out the baskets first, O.K.?

Eejit goes for it, takes an almost full 2 l sorbetier of eggwhites and dumps them into the hot fryer.

About 30 seconds later "Swamp thing" crawls up and over the fryer, gaining volume fast, like a big puffy marshmallow from he**, dribbling oil over the sides, then the oil started smoking...

Heckuva mess, but the look on that guy's face! Shoulda been a camera around...

And then there was my Chef who almost blew up the staff toilet--and the saucier with it....
...."This whole reality thing is really not what I expected it would be"......
...."This whole reality thing is really not what I expected it would be"......
post #41 of 116
Back when I was a line cook we always had a problem with servers swiping fries, onion rings, and chicken fingers off of the plates before they took them out to the guests. One April Fools Day we decided to get back at those thieves! We cut clean towels into strips and floured, egged, and bread crumbed them. Then we deep fried them. They looked exactly like chicken fingers. Then we presented them on a plate with a variety of dipping sauces, put 'em up on the rail, and waited for the madness to begin. Every server working that night took the bait and it was pretty funny watching them trying to take a bite out of those towels.
post #42 of 116
The bar rag/chicken parm is a classic! I've heard some good stories about it. Funny stuff!
post #43 of 116
Another version of the gag is to bread and saute gold a copper/s/s scouring pad.....
...."This whole reality thing is really not what I expected it would be"......
...."This whole reality thing is really not what I expected it would be"......
post #44 of 116
I rubber-banded the little sprayer hose attachment on moms residential kitchen sink when I was a wee-tot.......

...I'll never do it again.
post #45 of 116
I had a DMO create a horse tail with masking tape that consisted of napkins, air filled plastic gloves, and pink sany wipes and stick it on the tail end of a jacket of a unaware cook who was focused on his prep. Moments later, uproars of laughter will fill the kitchen as this unaware cook scrambles throughout the kitchen with 2 foot long tail dangling behind him. haha

people still fall for the lefthanded parsley chopper and such?
post #46 of 116
We usually fill the straw of someone with liquid death hot sauce or something like that, then carefully wipe it off and re-insert it into the vistims drink. We have black straws where I work so you cannot see it.

We also do all our own butchering so we like to tie large fish carcasses up under peoples cars in the summer time---ouch the stink!

We also once had a really old whole lamb the chef did not want anymore so we tied it with a dog collar and leash to a managers bumper, he drug it 80 miles all the way to Atlantic city. The cops did not think it was too funny.
Fluctuat nec mergitur
Fluctuat nec mergitur
post #47 of 116

Kitchen pranks


a very good line for a bit of light stuff of course - it's difficult to think up and/or do a really good 'prank' as so many might infringe health and safety at work and/or food safety, of course.

Well, many many years ago when i lived in a staff annex (to the hotel where i worked) along with a few other chefs; we never got on with the landlady (it was a sort of private arrangement with the hotel) so it didn't actually come under hotel control. The landlady also worked in the public bar and hated us and we her.

Well, eventually we were leaving and moving on to other jobs and wondered what we could do to leave a legarcy - something that wouldn't get discovered too soon.

You heard the saying "was it the smoking gun or the trout in the milk?

Well it was the trout (dead) under the floor boards.

I think it caused quite a stink.
post #48 of 116
ohhhh what a stinker that would be :roll::roll::roll:
when life hands you lemons, make lemon gelee, lemon meringue pie, or any other dessert your heart desires

when life hands you lemons, make lemon gelee, lemon meringue pie, or any other dessert your heart desires

post #49 of 116
I had an extern who left a trout in my desk before she went back to school. I tore up my office trying to locate it!!! Those externs keep me young.
post #50 of 116
Just Jim- I forgot all about that one, only with us it was the dancing sister (Ask Willy about his dancing sister. She's really good, been on TV and everything. He loves to brag about her. If you want to get in good with him, that's how you do it.) I fell for it.
A word of warning here about putting things in people's drinks etc. Last year at one of the places I work they put Tobasco sauce in one of the waiter's drink. Turned out he was allergic to peppers. They had to call an ambulance and he wound up getting a tracheotomy. Since he was friends with the pranksters (With friends like that, who needs enemies?) he didn't sue which is the only reason the owner didn't fire the whole crew.
We had a slow winter at that same place and were running without a dish person during the early part of the week. One night the manager was pitching dishes and all of a sudden he starts doubling over laughing. I thought he finally had lost it until he said he was remembering the time when he worked at the local country club and they had a new dishwasher on. They'd had a wedding that night and they brought the ice sculpture back and told the dishwasher to run it through and put it back in the walk in so they could use it again for the next one. Of course it melted and the kid was afraid to say anything because he thought he'd get fired.
post #51 of 116
yeah, we only put things in peoples drinks that we know they can take, we don't do it to the new people, unless they're asking for it. usually just salt, though, or maybe some soy in the coffee.
Life's too short to eat bad food and drink bad wine.
Life's too short to eat bad food and drink bad wine.
post #52 of 116
Why bother putting stuff in the drinks? Just cling film over the glass--it's alot funnier and people don't get P.O'd........
...."This whole reality thing is really not what I expected it would be"......
...."This whole reality thing is really not what I expected it would be"......
post #53 of 116

in peoples drinks but not deliberate


there was the horrible story (true unfortunately), about someone working behind a bar flat out on a very hot day.

Reached in the fridge and grabbed what was thought to be a bottle of lemonde and drank it down.

Tragically some one had decanted bleach into the lemonade bottle thinking it was a handy storage vessel and some how it had got into the fridge.

The person lived but had major things in hospital and never actually fully recovered and shortened life and mush lower quality.

It's a standard case-study on health and safety in this area and unfortunately always comes to mind under present discussion.

sorry to be a damp squid.:eek:
post #54 of 116
Had to revive this thread to add to it. I don't run a kitchen, I run a nut house. Our walk-ins are in a shed across the parking lot from the actual kitchen, so staff are constantly running out the back door to get things. There is no window in the door, so there is a sign reminding people to knock before entering in case someone is working at the table by the door. Sooo, Goofy Cook waits for Drama Queen waitress to head for the shed, fills his hands with ketchup and stands by the back door. Her hands are full and she can't knock, so as soon as the door opens he starts to bellow and grabs his nose with both hands. Drama Queen runs out into the dining room and up to dining room manager (who is in the process of taking an order) babbling that Goofy Cook is bleeding everywhere (what every diner wants to hear) because she broke his nose with the door. Drama Queen swears she's going to get even; I swear to God I'm going to kill them all. People wonder why I drink. I wonder why I don't drink more.
post #55 of 116
Kitchen pranks are only good when it adversely affects those who truly deserve it. First chef I worked for loved to put the salt and pepper mix into people's pockets. The owner was a jerk of the highest caliber, hated by people whom he'd only met once or twice. Owner was having extended conversation with chef on the line in the kitchen, chef ended up salt-curing a brand new Cartier watch owner had in his pocket instead of on his wrist. He took it in stride, but kept his distance from the chef from then on.
A server that constantly complained about staff meal at an Italian place I worked at got served a paper-towl parm when the rest of the staff got chicken parm. He was so embarrassed that he said nothing, threw it away, and got a burger down the street.
post #56 of 116

Oh the good old days

Years ago in London we had servers that were fond of our homemade chocolate petit fours so I made a batch of them with chocolate Exlax and left them sitting around..... kind of backfired though when we lost 3 servers that shift... but not as much as they backfired.

You take some cardboard, you cut it into the shape of a cutlet, you use a meat tenderizer on it, season it liberally, breadcrumb and fry it then serve it up to the peasants with a nice mushroom demi, they'll never complain about staff food again... trust me

You buy an identical combination lock for someones locker then switch it while they are getting changed at the beginning of shift.


Purple broccoli used to be really funky in the mid 80's (oh god i'm old) we used to give it to the newbie to cook, always with the lecture about you know what you are doing? this stuff aint cheap! as soon as it hits boiling water it turns green...What the **** happened did you put salt in the water? there is no right answer

Live lobsters.....so many possabilities, my favorate is under the plate cover and into the dishpit

Taking an pigs eyeball into a department head meeting can be considered juvinile... trust me, it did take them some time to notice what was floating in my water glass

Talking of department head meetings if you ever want to speed one up just spend a couple of hours fileting salmon before hand... or during it we're born multitaskers

Telling a newbie that snorting saffron will get you high, actually that one wasn't cool, the bright yellow muccus was disgusting

Having the G.M. run up to you saying you speak Welsh, I want to make a toast to Richard Burton (this was before he died, we didn't serve dead people at the restaurant) this was in the middle of service so I quickly taught him a classic toast that translates to "all English are *****oles" I changed jobs soon after.

Serving a nice rabbit stew then advertizing it on the chalk board as Watership Down Casserole "You've read the book, you've seen the film, now eat the cast" for you young farts google it, it's a classic story, much better than Old Yeller... and tastier too
post #57 of 116
I know I'm evil for doing this... buttt

We recently had a "situation" where a guest found a finger from a rubber glove in his bread pudding. The Chef at the time obviously was not amused having to smooth the situation out.

This Chef is no longer with us, he left a few weeks ago. On his last day, we had a plated banquet for 150. After plating up, I ripped a finger off of my glove and feigned fear and shock as I tried to explain to him I lost a finger of my glove in the food.

He ran to the hotbox before I could even explain to him it was a joke, and he was ready to start pulling plates out looking for a glove tip, but luckily i managed to get to him in time. He was so flushed, angered, relieved, and laughing all at the same time. Alot of the words exchanged after realizing it was a joke can't be spoken on this forum, but lets just say he will remember his last day.
post #58 of 116
The Goat!!!!!!!!!
Never trust a skinny cook
Never trust a skinny cook
post #59 of 116
Good one.

I still take the bright orange cooled fat cap off of beef stock, cut it into cheesecake size wedges, make it pretty with whipped cream, caramel sauce and other garnish and tell the managers or new servers that it's out new Yam cheesecake. Works every time!

A classic but we had a guy that always left his knives dirty at the end of the night on the magnet. So we used to clarify water the best we could and freeze them in a bucket with the handles sticking out like sword in the stone. It would have to be done on a day he didn't work because we used to set-up the ice block on a sheetpan so when he came in it was staring him in the face. Got to the point we used to do that with anyone that left their knives. Got old quick so do it once then leave the guy alone. ;)
post #60 of 116
Some of my favorites are sending a noob into the deep freezer for the buckets of steam. Looking for the bacon stretcher, fish sauce in a soda, tea or coffee, cayenne on the back of the neck, and my all time favorite....

Make a $50 bet with the big talker A$$hole of the group. Bet them that they cant eat a level TBSP of cinnamon. SInce cinnamon absorbs all the moisture in your mouth and nasal cavity it will be spewed out of their mouth and thru their nose, its like the gallon of milk bet but much lesser known. Its quite funny and the jacka$$ who loses the bet will shut up for a while.
Taste: The sensation derived from food, as interpreted thru the tongue to brain sensory system.
Flavor: The overall impression combining taste, odor, mouthfeel and trigeminal perception.
Taste: The sensation derived from food, as interpreted thru the tongue to brain sensory system.
Flavor: The overall impression combining taste, odor, mouthfeel and trigeminal perception.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Professional Chefs