or Connect
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

False Complimeent

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
Sometimes compliment can be insincere and questionable. How would you react when someone tells you that you have a beautiful sexy body when in actual fact you're thin and looks like someone who hasn't tasted food for a week. My friend tells me that I have a beautiful hair but deep down my heart she is not sincere in her compliment as I always know that my hair is too thin. I thank her, while stroking my hair, told her that it's actually limp. Have you ever experience such kind of insincere compliment?
post #2 of 8
First, if compliments mean that much to you, then, in my opinion, others opinions matter more than your own. One should always try to be pleasing to one's self, rather than trying to please others.

Second, she probably senses your insecurity which I sensed when you described your "shortcomings": i.e. thin body, thin hair. "Thin" is a comparative word. You are what you are. She's actually trying to help you feel better about yourself. What I would call a "Good Friend".

150 years ago, the Rubanesque figure was "beautiful", but today, it is not thought so desirable. Rubanesque would probably be described as "obese" in today's society.

post #3 of 8

Are you sure it was insincere?

It seems to me that your friend may really think you and your hair are beautiful. You may think you are too thin and/or that your hair is too thin, but your friend may envy your slim figure and may like your hair better than her own. I would give your friend the benefit of the doubt and assume that she really meant those complements.
Also, it sounds like you have trouble accepting a complement. Next time, rather than complaining that your hair is too thin try saying, "Thank you, that's so sweet." Then try to return the favor by complementing your friend on something you admire about her.
post #4 of 8
Every woman I've ever known would describe herself as too fat/too skinny, too bosomy/too flat chested; their hair was too thin or had too much body; their faces......and so on. No woman is ever satisfied with any part of her body.

Could that be the case here? Are you maybe too self-critical, and maybe your friend is sincere?
They have taken the oath of the brother in blood, in leavened bread and salt. Rudyard Kipling
They have taken the oath of the brother in blood, in leavened bread and salt. Rudyard Kipling
post #5 of 8
false compliments are often made to make the recipient feel better about themselves and usually by well meaning, caring friends. They only sound false because you dont beleive them. Just maybe...think on... they may be true.

Doesnt sound like you have a very high opinion of yourself.
"If we're not supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?" Jo Brand
"If we're not supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?" Jo Brand
post #6 of 8
Maybe your friend sees you in a way you don't see yourself. Perhaps you'd do well to take the compliments at face value rather than dismissing them.

Recently a few people complimented my appearance - I've lost a lot of weight due in part to a protracted illness. I feel a little "old" looking and somewhat haggard, but y'know what, I loved their comments and took them as though they meant them - which I'm sure they did. Helped me feel better about myself :smiles:

Give yourself a break, try to see yourself as others see you, and when you get some positive comments, take them as being sincere. You know the old adage: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

post #7 of 8
Yeah. I think you're going to have to post pics so we can decide for ourselves.
post #8 of 8

Insecurity is no fun.

Please don't be so self-critical! Life is much funner when you're vain.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Late Night Cafe (off-topic)