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When did people dining out become so rude?  

post #1 of 27
9/21/08 at 12:15am
Thread Starter 
When did people become so rude? I am referring to the people who dine out whether it be once a week or every night of the week. As a server for many years and since I would get fired if I told you how I felt about your behavior as a customer I feel someone needs to explain to diners of the world how it really is. Here goes. I know how to do my job you are not my only table I may have 3 or 4 other tables who were seated at the same time you were seated. I am only one person let me do my job instead of complaining if your drinks you think took to long or it took to long to get your salad. Please remember I am getting drinks for 3 other tables plus yours it is going to more than likely take me 2 trips to get them on the table. You never consider your bar drinks are made by someone else who I have to wait on to make your drinks. The process of getting drinks for up to 20 people at one time which is the total of people from all tables doesn’t even take 10 minutes usually to get everyone drinking. On the nights it does take a little bit longer to get your drink or you have to wait longer than you did the last 5 times you were in the restaurant don’t make rude comments to your server criticizing them I don’t know when customers started bringing stop watches into places they dine timing the servers on how long it takes them to finish each task they have to perform for your table and if you feel they made you wait a few minutes longer than usual to get your salad drinks whatever you then have the nerve to complain to there boss that it took 7 minutes longer this week than last week to get your salad and guess what you get somebody with 4 kids to feed fired from there job. The majority of people who dine out a lot are retirees where do you have to go in such a hurry? You don’t work you play golf all day so why are you timing me like I am in training for the Olympics? I am not the only one getting salad drinks whatever it may be I have to wait for someone to make me your salad in line behind 10 other servers who are waiting to get theirs also. When you go to a place to eat and there is an hour wait don’t think your not going to wait a little bit more once you get seated. If you order well done steaks don’t expect your food to be ready in 15 minutes it is not going to happen. Have a little patience let your server get all of there tables served with salad and if you happen to be the 3rd table out of 4 to get your salad don’t stop the server to complain about where your salad is when you were more than likely told by your server that all your tables were seated at the same time and that there were 2 tables ahead of there table you had to serve before them. When you stop me to complain that is time I am losing. If you let me do my job I can have salad out to all 4 tables in under 10 minutes. If everything is running smoothly in the kitchen which plays a big factor in how fast I can get it done. If your drinks are empty I will acknowledge to you that I see you need refills and let you know to give me a few minutes to get everyone’s salad on the table and you will refill there drinks. You think when a restaurant is filled up that people would see how busy you were and realize that food, drinks, anything may take a little bit longer than usual. It isn’t always your servers fault if things take a little bit longer than it did the night before. Okay enough on that let’s move on… We are not back there cooking your food. We aren’t the ones fixing your plates. Are kitchen staff is very good but yes we are all humans and as hard as it is for you to accept we do make mistakes from time to time. I will be the first to admit if I am at fault I don’t have problem with doing that. If you don’t like your food please let me know don’t eat the whole thing then tell me how horrible it was I can’t help you then. I will do everything I can to try and correct the issue. I will be more than happy to get you something different to eat or if your steak is over cooked I will get you a new one. Whatever makes you happy. After my 3rd time asking you if your okay don’t tell me yes then stop my manager or another server and complain about your food or decide to send back your steak to have it cooked a bit more. That makes it look like I am not doing my job. I got a manger yelling at me like I haven’t even been to your table at all since you got your food. I am your server if you need something ask me. I never go missing like a lot of customers love to say we haven’t seen our server in 20 minutes. All I got to say is somebody buy a new watch cause either the one you got is broke or you don’t know how to tell time. This is how I earn my living I have bills to pay I am going to give you the best service I can. Don’t take something like getting the wrong side dish on your plate like it is the most devastating thing that has ever happen to you that is a one minute fix. Personally I think people take going out to eat way to serious. I see people that can’t wait for any kind of error to happen at there table so they can get an attitude and not leave you a tip. I think people actually believe it is okay to be rude and obnoxious to servers. A few more things before I end this. Servers don’t have a problem with correcting whatever problem you have. Some entrees take longer than others if you have well done steaks in a really busy restaurant expect to sometimes wait 30 to 45 minutes for them. It is not my fault that your food took longer than it did last night I will keep you informed if your food is taking a long time as to when the cook says it will be ready. My final statement to all you diners out there we make $3.77 per hour in Florida a customary tip today is 18-20%. Thanks to those who do appreciate how hard we do work and show there appreciation when they pay there check.

In case some of you out there don’t know it is stealing when you purposely try to scam a free meal out of a restaurant. I don’t need to get into details with you because the ones who do it know what I am talking about. You’re a THIEF and a LIAR and trust me we know your game and at some places the customer isn’t always right!!

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post #2 of 27
9/21/08 at 4:19am
Welcome to cheftalk, and what a tremendous first post! Your perspective is interesting. Sounds like you've had a tough day. Hope it gets better.
post #3 of 27
9/21/08 at 5:08am
Maybe you should check out the website www.bitterwaitress.com

It's a good way to get this stuff off your chest.
Sorry you had a bad day, but you're preaching to the choir here, I think.

www.foodandphoto.com

Liquored up and laquered down,
She's got the biggest hair in town!

post #4 of 27
9/21/08 at 6:08am
In your post you said""I am going to give you the best service I can"" This is a great attitude, however all service people do not think like this. How about when the place is slow and only a deuce ordering and when food comes out not knowing who gets what. Or when patron needs something avoiding eye contact (this I see all the time). How about if waitstaff forgets something or screws up blaming the kitchen(this is common). True sometime it is.
In the back of the house it usually goes the busier it is the more effecient it runs , and if slower it goes worse because evrybody slacks off, the front of the house I find the same applies. Every server, every cook, every chef has bad days, but so do customers. We can't blame all of the public all of the time. Sometime it is our fault. We just have to forget today and concentrate on improving the causes of error for tommorrow.
CHEFED
post #5 of 27
9/21/08 at 7:31am
Thread Starter 
I didn't have a bad day this is something I have noticed over the past few years that people are ruder than ever. I agree there are some bad servers out there. I work in a very high volume very fast paced restaurant we are lucky to be busy year round. This is a privately owned place and the owner does not tolerate servers being rude or giving his customers poor service. I make a decent living as a server I have worked where I am now for almost 4 years. I have been a server off and on for the last 15 years. This is how I pay my bills and take care of my daughter. I try to have a positive attitude while I am working and (yes I do make eye contact with my customers) it is rude not to look at someone when they are speaking to you or you to them. If I make a mistake and it is my fault I have no problem telling the customer it was my fault people usually appreciate your honesty. It is just getting harder to keep a good attitude when you know your service was good and your customers tell you everything is fine more than 5 times. Then on there way out complain to the owner you took to long to bring them drinks salad just anything. Then not even leave you a tip. I believe communication is very important I let my tables know when I have been seated 4 4tops all at one time. All I ask is for them to let me do my job and understand I am only one person you are not my only table I have worked where I am long enough I could probably do it blindfolded. I know you are tired of getting bad service. I am tired of giving good service and left 10% or less from rude people who will make up something just so they feel they don't have to tip you. It used to not happen very often now it is like you get 3 or 4 tables a night of people you just can't please. I just wonder where all these rude people have evolved from in the last few years?
post #6 of 27
9/21/08 at 7:34am
I begrudgingly say welcome to the forum - most of us are nice folks out here and I'd say we are all very sympathetic to your plight. There are incredibly rude people out there and I got my share while I was a waitress or a hostess. When things go wrong between servers and customers it's usually because there is a lack of understanding on both parts. As a customer I am perfectly aware that it is not up to you when the food comes out. It is up to you however if you see that the kitchen has put spinach on my plate instead of the rice I ordered. So much time is wasted by servers handing me things I didn't order.

As a server however I think it is important to understand this: People go out to restaurants so that they don't have to work hard. If I'm going to wait 20 minutes for something to drink, or not be able to get your attention when there is no salt on the table, then I feel like I'm working awfully hard. I'm paying money to eat here. I would like to eat what I ordered, in a timely fashion, and have someone available to me if I need something. People just want to be acknowledged after all. If you're too busy to take someone's order go by their table and say "I'll be with you in just a moment" instead of ignoring them.
In a nutshell
post #7 of 27
9/21/08 at 7:40am
A g r e e d !!!!!
CHEFED
post #8 of 27
9/21/08 at 8:31am
I agree, people can be so rude to the waitstaff.

Never a good server myself (which explains why I'm in the back of the house!), it is a really hard job to be a really good server.

There is a trend here in the Dallas area, and that is restaurants that semi-self-serve.
You place your order, pick up and a staff member will only clear for you.
bake first, ask questions later.
Oooh food, my favorite!


Professor Pastry Artswww.collin.edu
post #9 of 27
9/21/08 at 9:49am
Nice rant. Below you will find a collection of phrases and attitudes from customers that either I or my wife have experienced in the last 25 years we've been in this industry.

"Waitering is not a REAL job. I mean, you don't go to school or anything, it's just something to pay the bills untill you find something better. It's a job for kids to get through college with, not for adults with children."

"It is my right to be served properly. This is why/what I pay you for. You have 4 sections tonight and they're all full? Well is that my fault? Do your job properly and I might give you a tip. I'm/we're out here for a good time (do you think I spent 3 hrs on dressing, hair and make-up for nothing?) and if we don't get it, watch out."

"Ah jeez you got kids? Well either get a better paying job or spend more time in the drugstore."

Now scam artists a bit different. Kinda like jockeys in that they have a general plan, but if they see a better opportunity, they'll grab it. It's their right, birthright actually. They're doing you a favour by educating you. If you don't catch the scam your just stupid, which further proves thier birthright of taking advantage of any situation.

In short, people are what makes the world go around. Love them, hate them, but you can't avoid them.
post #10 of 27
9/21/08 at 11:06am
You're going to be mad at me.

It's your job. Praise will be faint because you're supposed to know how to do it well and do it consistently. Doing it well is expected of you by your customers. Anything less IS A PROBLEM.

Not pertinent. This is a sympathy ploy and doesn't have anything to do with how well you do your job and nothing to do with why you should be given slack. It's your job, do it well.

Again, not pertinent and an ugly agist slur besides. It's their time to use as they wish whether they're young, old or retired. Not your place to judge their use of time.

I don't believe this of you. Above, you whined when they did ask you for what they wanted (drinks, salads)

Same as above. You're judging whether you think it's a real problem or not. When you blow off their desires, they're going to complain to your boss. You need to set expectations for them and be consistent on serving ALL of their comments whether you agree with them or not.

By definition, the tip is optional. You're not entitled to a tip. Yes, it's a crock that wage laws assume tips and restaurants get away with bad wages. You agreed to do the job at that wage. Don't whine to me about what you agreed to. The tip is mine as a customer to gauge.


And you're right, your employer should fire you for these statements. They show you to be a poor server.

Phil
more than taste fine
me eat it all the time
post #11 of 27
9/21/08 at 12:12pm
To ttrraceyy:

Been there, done that.

I have been on all three sides of this issue, first as a server, then as a resturant owner, and all along as a patron. I'm now retired, however I still eat out. Edit: [I'm probably busier now than ever before...so I do place a value on the amount of time it takes to be served. It is not the waiter's prerogative to decide if I should wait, based on my employment/retirement status. Also, there were times when I had been unemployed. Taking the family out to eat was a real treat, but I still managed to leave a decent tip if it was deserved. Shame on you. ] :mad:

In all three positions I tried to remember that the world did not revolve around me, nor were the people in the world placed there to only make my life work for me. I realized early on that there are far more really nice people out there, than there are difficult ones. I believe the stinkers were put in my path to make me more appreciative of the good ones. When customers were impatient or rude, I would tell myself "This is only temorary for me, but that person's poor companion has to endure him/her for the rest of the evening, or longer". This would give me sufficient encouragement to cheerfully finish the job, and thank God when I finally saw that customer leaving. Although I worked for tips, providing good service was my goal. The tip was my reward for convincing the customer I deserved one. I was not condescending or insincere. I truly did strive to make their dining experience pleasant. Customers could still be difficult despite my best efforts. They were the one with the problem, not I.

Yes, waiting tables it demanding work. It requires physical stamina and mental agility in addition to a sincere desire to serve others. Perhaps you should seriously consider looking for work that does not require this level of involvement with the public.
"The pressure's on...let's cook something!"
 
post #12 of 27
9/21/08 at 1:05pm
Thank you, Phil. You beat me to the punch.

Frankly, when I read the original rant I was appaled. My first thought was, here's what the serving world has come to; yet another "server" who thinks the presence of customers is an imposition.

ttrraceyy: A bit of advice, if you don't mind, as it's a lesson you apparently haven't learned despite the length of time you've been at it: When I (or anyone) am dining out, as far as I'm concerned I am the only person in the joint. It's not my concern that you have other tables, or that there are ten other people in line to dish up a salad, or that you and the bartender don't get along. My concern is getting what I ordered in a reasonable amount of time, and being periodically checked on to assure that all my needs are being attended to.

If you can't accomplish that---for whatever reason---then you are not doing your job.

>I don’t know when customers started bringing stop watches into places they dine <

About the same time the so-called wait staff started taking inordinate amounts of time to serve their customers.
They have taken the oath of the brother in blood, in leavened bread and salt. Rudyard Kipling
post #13 of 27
9/21/08 at 10:32pm
Thread Starter 
Well I was appalled when I read your comments. I do my job and I do it well even if people like you are rude to me I still smile and do my job. I never get rude with anyone. I don't whine when some one ask me for a drink or anything that's my job. I don't make people wait on drinks, food, or anything they ask me for. I am tired of giving good service to people who could care less how efficient, friendly, and doing all she can to make sure you and your family have a pleasant dining experience. I do realize it is the patrons who keep a restaurant open for years to come of course I am going to do all I can to make you happy I want you to come back. For the member who said this isn't a real job it is my real job I make more money as a server than I did as a paralegal. Also I have worked at the same place for 4 years I have several call parties every night. Customers who go back home to England and come back to Florida a year later and only want me to wait on them. Some of you have taken what I have said here totally wrong I like working with the general public and I have met some wonderful people doing so. I used to get 1 or 2 rude can't please patrons once a month maybe now it is like 3 or 4 rude people every night. It's not just me other servers are getting people like this too. My rant was where are these hard to please people coming from?
post #14 of 27
9/21/08 at 11:02pm
I don't know. I've never been to Florida, so I doubt you've ever waited on me. But my guess would be: "they're coming from New York?" ... Just joking... really, truly....just joking :look:
"The pressure's on...let's cook something!"
 
post #15 of 27
9/21/08 at 11:20pm
Here 2we go again....

No, who actually WAS rude to you on this thread? Who told you they didn't like the colour of your hair or that your mother wears army boots to bed?

You got a rant off of your chest and people commented on it. Don't want people to comment on it? Well then, don't rant on a website that has hundreds of members who are involved in the hospitality industry.

Please read my post carefully, I made it very clear that the following comments and attitudes were from customers that both myself and my wife experienced. Problem is, we've both been in the hospitality industry all of our lives--never worked as a paralegal, never worked in any other trade/profession other than cook and waitress (although now we're both owners...) and we're not in it for the money. Besides, customers NEVER tip owners anyway

Get used to the attitudes from customers, they won't change.

You, on the other hand?......
post #16 of 27
9/21/08 at 11:55pm
Thread Starter 
I was replying back to the other appalled guy when I left that post. I am not even 40 getting close but not there yet and I have been in this business longer a lot longer than I was a paralegal. Maybe I am just used to good ol southern hospitality and in Central Florida a good ol southerner is a rare find. Amazinggrace joke or not you may be right lol. You have given me something to think about.
post #17 of 27
9/22/08 at 5:39am
There is also more road rage today then years ago, as well as more violence
CHEFED
post #18 of 27
9/22/08 at 5:55am
Just thought it was time to lighten things up a bit. :)
"The pressure's on...let's cook something!"
 
post #19 of 27
9/22/08 at 6:00am
Traccy, please understand that this is a community of people that come here regularly to share ideas. We all tend to be polite to each other and value each other's opinions. Being that your very first post was a big long run-on sentence rant it comes off a little unexpected and somewhat rude. You make good points in your rant that people are rude and I believe many folks just can't be pleased. Four years in the industry is not a long time when compared to the experience that some folks have on this forum so I ask you this - do you believe we are your customers? Because it seems your rant is directed at us. You are taking a very defensive stance on being a good server but I don't think you would need to if there weren't at least some problems with service... it's ok we've all been there.

My advice would be to focus on the things that you can control. If you are thinking "what's her rush anyway" when you come take my order then chances are that will come across. I think if you are positive and genuine with your customers that will come across as well. You can't worry about the people you can't control. Nobody has the right to make you feel as bad as you do unless you allow them to - and it seems you have. Those people are not worth ranting over. Take pride in your job and do go whining and complaining that not all of your customers love you. They're not there for you, they're there for themselves and you should be too.
In a nutshell
post #20 of 27
9/22/08 at 6:31am
This thread is interesting since I had the most miserable service at a favorite restaurant Saturday evening. Let me post this as a "retiree" who hasn't yet had time to play golf (or any other sport for that matter) all day long as I'm more busy now then ever before. I took my 86 year old mother, who by the way works full time, and my 50 year old working sister to an early dinner (reservations for 6:15 and we were prompt). We were seated promptly, and drink orders were taken in a timely manner and served in a timely manner and the dinner orders placed at the time the drinks were served. There were no special requests or special orders, just three dinners off the menu. Dinners included soup and salad. Only one in our party had both, the other two had salad only. The soup came in timely manner and 40 minutes later, the salads. During the 40 minutes it took to deliver the salads, several other groups of 2 and 4 were seated and had other servers. Our server never came back to check if we wanted another drink, to see if there was anything else we needed, or even to come with the pepper mill to ask if we wanted some fresh ground pepper on our salads.

Other tables were served their appetizers, soup and/or salads and even entrees. In fact, 2 tables (who arrived after we had) completed their dining experience and left before we were served our entrees. We did not even see our server again for 40 minutes after serving the salads. There were no large groups dining in the restaurant, however there was a table of 8 with another server.

When the dinners finally arrived (two steaks and one salmon), they were not hot. The server continuously reached across me to serve my mother even though there was enough room to walk around the table. My steak was served with a blue cheese sauce that had congealed. Again, the server disappeared, never returning to check on the meal or our satisfaction. When she came to clear, she did ask if we wanted another drink and we declined. I shared with her that Mom was disappointed with her salmon because it was not served hot (and she, in fact, ate less than half a portion). She appologized and I said it was the first time we had been so disappointed. Her response -- GET THIS, and I quote, "I saaaaid I was sorry". She took the cost of that meal off the ticket. I did not expect that, nor was it the point, the point was that her service (and attitude) was bad.

While I'm generally a minimum 20% tipper, needless to say, this server got considerably less. So disappointing! Don't get on your high horse, I realize that this was the first time we ever encountered this problem at this restaurant; however, it was not a problem in the kitchen... and hopefully, our server finds another occupation quickly.
post #21 of 27
9/22/08 at 6:43am
I told you you'd be mad at me.

Phil
more than taste fine
me eat it all the time
post #22 of 27
9/22/08 at 7:49am
> I do my job and I do it well even if people like you are rude to me <

Even if people like me are rude to you?

Well, we now know exactly how you define rude. And it's even more apparent why you have so much trouble with "rude" people.

Apparently, anyone who insists that you really do your job, instead of merely proclaiming how good you are at it, is rude.

Maybe it's time you considered a different career path.
They have taken the oath of the brother in blood, in leavened bread and salt. Rudyard Kipling
post #23 of 27
9/22/08 at 8:57am
Maybe this discussion has run it's course?

ttrraceyy, you are new at ChefTalk. I am fairly new also, but I'd like to welcome you to the forums. This is a good group of people, very supportive and helpful to one another. I'm relatively certain that your first post does not represent the fullness of your personality. Perhaps you have some positive contributions to make in some of the other areas of interest here, and we can all hope to get to know you better. :)
"The pressure's on...let's cook something!"
 
post #24 of 27
9/22/08 at 9:10am
Great to be able to read between lines.
CHEFED
post #25 of 27
9/22/08 at 1:08pm
Powerful punch, here. I read somewhere that "somebody that is nice to you but mean to the waiter is not a nice person." I think that came from Jerry Seinfeld. Does someone have to be mean to a waiter/ress, mail man, gas station attendant? No. There is a distinction between pompous and personable. Do they have a right to service? I believe they do. Service means just that... to serve, "a series of activities designed to enhance the level of customer satisfaction – that is, the feeling that a product or service has met the customer expectation." In other words, do the job.

Invention, my dear friends, is ninety-three percent perspiration, six percent electricity, four percent evaporation, and two percent butterscotch ripple

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post #26 of 27
9/22/08 at 2:18pm
No offence meant, truly, but you seem to have a humungus chip on your shoulder. Really. If you absolutely feel like that then get out of the business.

I've been a hard done to waitress, chef, owner operater, and there have always been customers who lord it over us peasants

The good customers far out-weigh the bad, but if you cant deal with the obnoxious few, you really are in the wrong business.

PS. the punters dont care about you. Your smile and service may cause them to return to the venue but...

PPS they've always been I^%*&$ rude. get over it

PPS Reading this over, I've been harsh. I'm sorry. But your thread comes over as a winge
"If we're not supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?" Jo Brand
post #27 of 27
9/22/08 at 5:12pm
OK, thanks for the different perspectives. Let's move on to something else. This forum is really for Dining experiences, not server's experiences. My fault for letting it slide the wrong way.
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