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Need some advice on my job..pickle here

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
Ok, I'll try and make this short, maybe some of you guys are familiar with my saga. I've wanted to be a cook for a very long time. I love cooking and all of that good stuff...I finally got that opportunity to be a cook (short order, but a cook gaining experience nonetheless) about 7 months ago now. I got hired and had a love it/hate it relationship.
about a month ago I got an opportunity to intern as a network engineer (my friends father runs a successful business, long story why he offered it to me, lots of politics, some of which involving an ex wife) and make 35 dollars an hour. Being that I thought money and a title like network engineer sounds like sheer happiness and the fact it was an opportunity even ivy league computer dorks would love I jumped at the chance. I quit my cooking job...they asked me to stay on payroll though in case I wanted to come back, so I did and I'm on a once a month or once a week basis.

In the process I went back to my old job (the one i had before cooking that is brainless, at least for me, --working at a pizza joint) I wanted something more flexible that didn't wear me out so much and wouldn't inhibit me studying.
Now my cooking job thinks I have classes and this network engineering thing, when in fact I just have the 2 they don't know i even went back to my old one and they don't know I'm not really in school full time. I was registered in school but the cooking school I wanted to go to was a cheap county program that mailed me a letter stating i was getting my money back due to low enrollment.

A lot of this indecisiveness is me being immature, not knowing what I want to do, being afraid of taking out a college loan for something that I don't want and mainly to facilitate my schedule with my girlfriend so we can spend as much time together as possible.

As much as this whole experience as tossed my life into a 3 job frenzy I'm glad I took it...I'm really glad because it really gave me my answer as to what I want to do with my life. My first choice, ironically the best one. I don't care how much I make and I don't care if people think I'm some smart "network engineer"...
As pitiful as it may sound to others (and i'm sure most of you get me on this)..i feel the most pride in the kitchen. I have a natural talent for it...I just know what taste and looks good and I have potential to be very successful with it. I've learned I'm not a logical thinker and this computer job venture has felt like school work all over..well the boring science and math class kind that I absolutely can't stand.

so...I want to go back to my cooking job for fri, sat, sun, mon and quit my old job and my network job and i'm willing to plunk down that 20 grand on culinary school and take out that loan because I want to learn as much as I can and get a degree.
I understand the politics about school and some people may say not to go that route..while other's may..i don't really care, i just know it's right for me now, finally.
I've been dancing around culinary school for 4 years..should i, shouldn't i??? should I???
well, now I know.

So the pickle do i do this while keeping my old jobs reference (the pizza place)..not pissing them off and most importantly
how do i not piss off my cooking job and make them not think I'm some huge flake?
does this stuff happen, will they understand..should I have an honest talk with my manager? (btw, my managers although understanding and nice...i don't really have that close of a relationship with them as to have an honest life and what I've learned much as I may want to)
What would you guys do...
thank you guys in advance for any advice or answers you bring me.
post #2 of 8
Thread Starter 
i do and I don't really care, i make most of my friends at work anyway...I've never been the out and party go clubbin type...I'm used to not being off holidays and working the mid shift (sometimes overnight shift)
We both hate going out on the weekends cos everything is i personally LIKE the schedule this way i have off on monday and non busy days.
I've always been the type to work 50-60+ hours as well...cos a lot of the time i've had more than one job.

my girlfriend is the same way..not a social bug and personally likes mid shift and late shift..weekend hours..problem is the type of jobs she excels at and holds are 9 to 5 ers.
see, for a while she was managing the pizza place we worked at...i was one of the assistants and i delivered pizza a lot AND She made the schedules so that worked out great but she hated management, even though she did really well at it.

she's more of a logical thinker and is extremely intelligent. Likes science, computers, math...she does brain teasers for fun...
I'm more of the type person who is creative, good with people, artistic...all that.
So she's the brains of any operation.

We started doing the networking thing because she hates the food biz and doesn't want to cook..(unlike me) and because we could do it together.
Problem there is, I can't handle it and dressing up everyday isn't my thing.

so essentially what I'm saying here is we're both capable of doing very well and succeeding but not in the same TYPE of career. We've been trying to do the same thing but it just never works out, one person falls short and/or becomes disinterested than the other.
unfortunately we're pretty co dependent on each other too so when we go to do other things us being attached at the hip becomes a detriment even though we may or ARE succeeding otherwise. We are getting better at being separated through necessity now, it's just looking like only one of us can actually have a career...
it's important for me to feel grounded and stable and like i can support myself so I'm very strong willed and I am an excellent and very productive worker. Obviously if she were to die (god forbid) or dump me or something horrible happened I'd need a job that I could support myself with and that's really where a lot of my career anxiety comes from.
She however doesn't have that anxiety BUT she is a lot smarter than me and has the potential to have a more lucrative career...
so one of us is going to have to be selfish and not both and it's looking more in her favor as she's the one who makes 35 bucks an hour...and I wouldn't have a problem with this

but inevitably my self esteem is terrible because I'm not doing anything productive with my life...especially not the one thing I know I'm capable of doing and should be doing which is cooking and maybe someday opening my own place.

sorry to be long winded...
post #3 of 8
A famous speech that may help you:

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. How?
  • Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.
  • Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.
  • Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
  • Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.
  • Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
  • Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us each together.
  • Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
  • Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
  • Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going.
  • Don’t forget that a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
  • Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.
  • Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.
By Coca Cola CEO Brian Dyson
post #4 of 8
U want the answers to your question. It will cost u about 14$ or less.

Go out and by the book called: The Mastery of Love or The Four Agreements by Don Ruiz.

Beleive me all your answers to all that thinking is in that book. Sounds corny but it is a fact not a opinion.

I am serious, That book will answer your questions and redirect your thinking and raise your awareness about yourself. Its a small one very easy to read. If you have trouble reading download some Dr. Wayne Dyer cd's for free online.. Those helped me on similar questions in my life!

Hope it all works out the way its suppose to.
When I stop loving what I do, I will do something else: Clint Eastwood http://NewDreamCatering.comCharleston, SC
When I stop loving what I do, I will do something else: Clint Eastwood http://NewDreamCatering.comCharleston, SC
post #5 of 8
Thread Starter 
thanks for the replies guys

and esg i'll make sure to check out that book...
post #6 of 8
Thread Starter 
thank you bdl, it does mean a lot that you think that, I read a lot of what you post on here and are definitely very knowledgeable and your opinions draw much respect from me.

and i read a copy of mastery of love over scribd last night
and those were some very powerful words.
I read a lot (mainly educational, non fiction and cookbooks) and I found him ( don miguel ruiz) to be extremely insightful. I already had an idea as to the root causes of my problems but he just painted such an obvious picture.

I've never concentrated on me, nor have I ever thought I was good enough. I really feel like I have the tools to enable myself now
I got a lot of answers
and inspiration for courage...

thank you much for recommending I read that.
post #7 of 8
I am happy that u read that book. i beleive that those kinds of books realy help in my own personal life as well as in a Chef role to be more compasionate towards those i work with and what they are going threw.

Now we move on to the Four Agreements by Don Ruiz I read it about every 2 months, I am on my third time now, this one will change your veiw on the world as you see it.. Sounds kookoo I know beleive me.
When I stop loving what I do, I will do something else: Clint Eastwood http://NewDreamCatering.comCharleston, SC
When I stop loving what I do, I will do something else: Clint Eastwood http://NewDreamCatering.comCharleston, SC
post #8 of 8

Ignore this post

The title is a joke, ok? Of every person I've talked to about attending culinary school, only one has told me it actually benefited their professional kitchen career. He graduated the top of a 90 person class from the CIA in 2005. This is the part where all the culinary instructors gang up on me and tell me I'm an idiot. I didn't go to culinary school. If you want to cook on a professional level you need two things: 1. The endless ability to take advice and criticism, mostly the latter. 2. Hunger.
This career is not something you waffle on (not a pun). I was convinced as a freshman in college that I would graduate and save thousands of poor all over the world. Sophomore year, I started cooking professionally, and it's been my LIFE ever since. If there is a doubt in your mind that you should not pursue a career in a kitchen- go back to whatever else is available. If you really can't imagine your life without cooking, stay hungry. And best of luck.
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